Bit my 1 year old?

Question

My 1 year old was bit yesterday at a birthday party for a 2 year old.. the 2 year old was the one that bit him. My son was bit so hard, that today, you can still see the other kid's teeth prints as clear as you could as soon as he was bit yesterday.

The parents did nothing to chastize the child at all. They didn't tell him it was wrong, they didn't put him in time out.. they didn't do anything.

The father is my husband's good friend, and I could care less about either one of them.. now, I don't think I'd ever be able to go back over there without spouting some words that shouldn't be said, or disciplining their kid myself ( he's frequently hurting my son and nothing is done about it)

My husband says that it will ruin his friendship with the guy if I hate his woman, and him, and their kids.. should I get over it? Cause I don't think I can.

I'm not going to allow my son to get bullied by a kid that's never taught that it's wrong. He may only be 2 now, but if they never tell him no.. that's it's not right.. he's never going to know.

Answer 1

I agree with Stacy D, she makes an excellent point. Your child should come first, not the friendship of your husband and his friend. You should definitely sit down in a mature adult fashion with your husband, and both parents of the other child and express your concerns. My opinion is that if the parents of the other boy treat it as if it's no big deal, then you shouldn't take your son over there anymore, for his safety.

And to the person that said the parents can't help what their kids do.....are you insane? Parent are there to teach their kid right from wrong. What, do you think that children are allowed to run around like wild animals and not be taught how to behave? Parents are totally capable of reprimanding a child. Geez.

Answer 2

Personally, I think you missed a prime opportunity to nip it in the bud at the party. Is a frienship with people like that REALLY important to you? I think not.

First off, make sure your child will be ok. If the skin isn't broken let it go but just this once. Now, go ahead and "play nice" one more time. Watch your kid like a hawk and if he gets close to the other child go and stay by him. Ignore the adults to pay full attention to your child. When they get offended and want to know what's up with you, calmly explain that since they don't care about what their child does to yours you're going to keep a close eye on them to make sure it doesn't happen again. If they get offended then tough poop! You have every right to protect your child.

If you see your child is the least bit uncomfortable around the other, don't force him to be around that little brat! It will only hurt you and him in the end. The other child doesn't care obviously and your baby will think you're not protecting him!

Personally, I would tell my husband he's more than welcome to go there and you'll go somewhere else or stay home! He should love and care about your child just as much and friends come and go but that's your blood.

Answer 3

I wouldn't let my kid get bullied either. Unfortunately kids bite! (actually my 2 year old has been doing it for a year) The parents should be teaching them that it is wrong. It is hard not to get into protective mode when your kid is getting hurt. Maybe throw out a few hints. Take your kid away and tell the other kid that he is not being nice. I wouldn't disipline him yourself, (even if the parents aren't doing it, it isn't your place) You should also talk to your husband. His child should come before his co-worker! You son may start behaving badly himself. Good Luck. I think that is the hardest thing. Everyone has a friend who doesn't parent well, and our kids are the one's affected.

Answer 4

While you can not change the way they parent thier child or parent thier child for them you can choose they way you parent your child... If you do not feel your child is safe at thier home don't bring your child there...

If you do choose to bring your child there watch very carefully if a situation arrises in which you believe your child is being placed in danger remove your child... Do not disipline thier child that is not your place...

While you may hate the parents for not disiplining thier child there is no reason to hate the child it is not his fault his parents don't disipline and teach him...

If you choose to visit again be prepared to leave without your husband... Don't yell and scream even when he arrives home calmly explain that your childs safety was in concern and you removed your child from the danger... Your husband will quickly get the clue and mention someting to his friend about it or will realize his friends lack of parenting is placing your child in danger... Either way your husband is now in the hotseat to solve the problem with his friend and not you...

Most of all you need to get control of your apparent anger, a lot can and is said and done when people are angry... If you approach the problem calmly and rationally instead of emotionally and angry the solution will happen more quickly and with no damage to your marriage...

Assure your husband he can still have a friendship with his friend even if your children can not play together safely.. In all likellyhood your husband willl start seeing the dangers you are seeing given sometime and his friendship will naturally desolve...

Answer 5

Don't hate the parents. But that doesn't mean you have to tolerate their behavior -- or lack of it!
Unfortunately nothing was done the first time their son bit yours. The next time your child is around theirs, I'd keep an eagle eye on the two kids and at the very first sign of misbehavior, I'd head it off and say something to the offending child (like a stern "No!" eye-level with him. "We don't bite." Or "Biting is bad.") That should be enough to stop him. If it isn't, I'd put myself between your son and him (without touching him -- as much as you might want to!) or remove your son from the situation.
If the parents then jump to their son's defense, I'd tell them that biting is unacceptable and dangerous. You don't want your son to risk infection and you certainly don't want your son to learn that biting is something he can do.
If they or your husband pooh-pooh that, just firmly stand your ground and repeat the above.
As good as it might feel, there's not much point in really losing it and calling them a string of expletives. If they continue to act like idiots however, I'd tell your husband that you and your son won't be seeing them anymore. If he wants to continue a friendship with people like that, well, that's his business. But you and the son you want to protect don't have to be any part of it.

Answer 6

The problem here is not that your son got bit. Kids bite, and hit, and push, etc. The problem is that the parents aren't doing anything to stop the behavior. Kids look to their parents (authority figures) to let them know what behavior is acceptable. If you sped past a police officer everyday and he never pulled you over, you'd keep speeding right?

Your child's safety comes before friendships. Talking to the kid's parents may not be so easy for you, but your husband should be able to talk to his "good friend" about his child's behavior. I would not have my children around any child who is ALLOWED to bully them. You are the mom, protect your child. If you have to have your child around them, stay close by him and don't let that other kid push your kid around! P~

Answer 7

So far I've seen nothing about the child's heath but everything about your feelings towards the parents of the other child...Have you at least taken your child to the doctor? If bitemarks are still present then that was one nasty bite and the human mouth harbors horrific bacteria and ANY bitemark like that should be looked at by a physician! Yet all you seem to be worried about is your hatred for someone and not your child's heath...

Answer 8

Well, you are in a dilema. i suggest, seeing that your child has only a mark and no blood was showing, that you think of your husband next. (you thought of your child first and he/she is gonna be okay) Be caucious when you visit with them and keep an eye on your child. Tell your husband that you love him and you are willing to give it another chance but if it happens again, even almost happens, (that's why you should watch closely to avoid any pain for your child) then you expect HIM to take care of it or YOU will, friendship or not, your child is first priority!!!! When my daughter was 5 her cousin was 3 and she came in and hit my daughter on the head with a hard plastic toy butterfly net, me and my sister in law were in the room. She somewhat raised her voice and not even getting up told her daughter to sit on the couch and think about what she done. I got up, picked up the toy, walked over to my SIL and popped her on the head HARD! Then I told her I was gonna sit on the couch and think about what I just done. This was never a problem again!!!!!!

Answer 9

Biting is a way that young children deal with various emotions. Though you may be upset because the child bit your baby, Please keep in mind the biter is a baby as well. For the moment I would suggest not talking to the parents about the situation. When your child is with the biter, watch them carefully or play with them, perhaps you can teach the biter not to byte. Eventually you may have to have a heart to heart talk with the mom, but please get over the rage! Your son may be the biter one day. Also all parents handle behavior in different ways.

good luck

Answer 10

First off, I think your child will be fine, as long as the skin didn't break.

I would have a sit down with the mother of the other child and explain your concerns, just try not to get too upset. Or you could all sit down together so that she can't tell her husband something that you didn't actually say. As for your husband getting upset or worried about his friendship, he should be more worried about his child getting hurt.

Good Luck to you!!