i caught my fiance lying to me. at first i thought it was all a missunderstanding but when i asked him about it i could tell he was lying because his stories didn't mach up. ( it wasn't about him cheating on me) it has caused lots of fighting between us. something we never do. (this all happened 3 days ago) it's awful! I love him so much but i would rather him cheat on me than lie to me. it got to the point that i was snooping on him. i check his e-mail and read anything i think is suspicious. ( i know that was wrong ) but i don't want to loose him. i didn't think he was that kind of guy.cound i have been wrong? what do i do? i know he's lying but i cant loose him!
2006-10-23 13:11:34 · 9 answers · asked by Double_A 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I don't know what he was lying about - but it must be something very important for you to be this upset. If you KNOW he's lying, these are your choices...
1) Leave him.
2) Stand up in front of God and your friends and family and vow to spend the rest of your life with a liar.
Please don't go with the second choice! I'm sure you have more self-respect than that.
I spent two years trying to pretend that a lying cheater would change. (Thank God we weren't married - only dating) He didn't change. I snooped too - and had never done that before - and I haven't done it since. I was lowering myself to his standards - sneaking around to read his mail and listen to his phone messages. I did a lot of crying and a lot of blaming at the time - but now - I look back at those years and wonder what the heck I was thinking.
You can't control him. All you can control are your own actions.
I'm sure this is not what you want to hear - but - if you have a ring and a date - give back the ring - and scratch the date out of your date book AND your mind!!! You said that you can't lose him - but you CAN lose him!! And you probably should!! It will be hard at first - but think about your life and your happiness long term.
Now - if you THINK there's a chance to make it work - postpone your date - and get into couseling NOW. If he wants you as his wife - he'll do it.
2006-10-23 13:28:59 · answer #1 · answered by liddabet 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Wow, Angela...That's a lot of doubt and suspicion to go through when you're planning a wedding!! You really need to get past the 'I can't lose him' idea, or you'll never be able to honestly and openly judge for yourself whether this is a good match. If you truly feel you depend on this guy for your happiness, fulfillment, or satisfaction in life, then I hate to say this....but you're probably not ready to be married.
I think this is one of the reasons so many relationships go wrong. You start out with a fantasy of what another person means to you, or how you need that person, instead of finding your own place in life, your own sense of what's right and acceptable for you. That leads to trouble! And that's not to say all relationships don't require compromise---I think they do, but without a foundation of openness and honesty, then what's the point??
You need time to sort this situation out. And discover why you seem to be willing to toss your own instincts and good judgment aside to be in this relationship....I think you might be making a mistake. But all the best to you whatever you decide.
2006-10-23 13:31:51 · answer #2 · answered by PacificArts72 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd recommend a consellor to support you spot handed this! I'd additionally seem at why she lied to you? Maybe she felt ashamed or might be she used to be fearful of what your response could be? Sounds like she used to be correct to fear approximately your response. The main factor this is that she loves ample not to wish to begin a wedding situated on lies, that has to valued at plenty. Talk to her, inform it is k and you're keen on her for who she is no longer for what she did or did not do ago, however be sincere and give an explanation for how it is consuming you up within. Together ye can both make it paintings or now not. Good good fortune
2016-09-01 01:39:11 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well this might be the wrong thing to do to a guy, but here you go. You go ahead and marry the person. A marriage is nothing but a business arrangement now for you, they probably still love you. They're just a cheat. Once=always
2006-10-23 13:30:50 · answer #4 · answered by Hot one 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want to keep him and have a prosperous relationship, put it behind you two and stay positive.
If it's going to be an issue then there will be distance between you two.
Do you feel you can't lose him because you've invested alot of time in the relationship or do you truly love him?
2006-10-23 13:20:23 · answer #5 · answered by 33ea 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should read what you said there. If your having trouble now, what will it be like later on? Lying is not the basis of a sound relationship. If I were you I would relly think about this and consider other alternatives.
2006-10-23 13:15:59 · answer #6 · answered by plitsmay 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I thiink you should stop smothering him and give him some room before changes his mind about you, everyone lies. Forgive, forget and move on
2006-10-23 13:14:43 · answer #7 · answered by indrul1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Confront him about it in a non-argumentive way. tell him that you're hurt that he lied to you. Be honest
2006-10-23 13:19:35 · answer #8 · answered by hpdrew15 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
SHOVE HIS LEG INTO A PIANO AND TELL HIM TO PLEASURE HIMSELF!!!!
2006-10-23 13:13:35 · answer #9 · answered by flowersandpopcorn 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋