how do i cope with a demanding son?

Question

I am a single parent of a very demanding 2 year old, I live on my own, on a council estate, I am desparate to go back to work (sponging off the social is something I can't bare doing). I'm trying to find a way to beat 'the system'. I have contact with his father, he comes around for 1 hour most weeks, and gives me the odd tenner, but this hardly helps. If he gave me legal support, it would only be taken out of my much needed benifits. My Mum & Dad have recently seperated (wich make matters worse) My Dad lives close by but never asks if he can help, apart from slipping me the odd £20. My Mum lives 80 miles away, and although she would help if she could, she can hardly nip around the corner to help if I need her (she cannot drive, and has just started up a new business with her new partner). I take the train to stay with my Mum & new husband (wich I like) quite often, But I know this is not the answer.When I'm there we're happy (I can SLEEP),but when I leave all I do is cry, pls help.

Answer 1

ok first take a deep breath.. there is a reason they call it the"terrible twos" this is a phase.. threes are amuch better age... he is old enought to understand simple lanuage.. so dont be afraid to use the word "NO".. and dont be afraid to put him on "time out".. i was a single mom when mine was two also.. and i would put mine one time out( althought i couldnt do the time out in another room without another fit, so i would do it the same room i was it.. whatever works) althought i might get critised for this.. sometimes i would just pop a movie in to quiet things down.. i figured alittle too much tv was better than me at my wits end... now for you... find a way to take some down time by yourself.. a friend of mine would do the kids switch.. when she needed some down time i would take the kids.. and we would switch.. so i could have some down time by myself.. this saved our sanity many times.. (sometimes i needed more down time.. sometimes she needed more) i use to feel quilty about needing time to myself, but then i realized that i was alot more patient.. once or twice i would get a babysitter for just two hours, while i would go do do my own thing (of course being home before the babe needed to ge to bed, because she couldnt go to bed without me) .. and just a note... cry... if you need to .. do it .. it helps realive built up stress.. proven fact!.. try all the ideas that everyone gives you.. use what works for the two of you and keep reminding yourself.. its only a phase.. its only a phase...

Answer 2

You sound a little depressed! It can be very hard! Especially with a demanding toddler. I have one too! She is such a handfull I sometimes wonder how she even sleeps! Just take one day at a time. If you want to work find a good daycare. I don't know where you are, but there are subsidised daycares and that makes it easier. I wouldn't depend on family, or his father for help, because that might run out and then you are really stuck. You are on your own, and you can make it on your own! I was a single mom for 8 years and we made out ok. Things were tough, but there are obstacles for even the richest people!
Good Luck.

Answer 3

Things seem tough right now...but if u keep letting your little boy go on demanding things from u all the time...things will only get worse...Tough love is an option that worked for me. When my kids were being obnoxious...I would tell them that I was going to ignore them until they behaved. That really worked. Once they realised that I was serious with my threat they soon came round. I think the longest time I ignored them for was 3hrs...It may seem mean but they have to learn that u r the mum!
Once your little darling learns not to be sooo demanding all the other stuff will seem much easier to deal with. Kids can cause u an enormous amount of stress which makes other problems in your life so much worse.
As 4 the welfare thing...u may not like it! but wat else r u going to do when the father cant or wont help you! Give it a bit more time til u get back on your feet...full credit to u for trying to get off it though..There should be more like u.. :)
Good Luck with everything!!

Answer 4

Sounds like you have an awful lot to deal with. You must be totally exhausted! Welcome to motherhood. Try and understand this. The years with your son will past by so fast, you will be shocked. Each day with him is a new day and a chance for you to help this little guy grow into a fine, loving young man. Your top priority in life is your son now. Maybe you could start a single mom's support group close to your home. Is that a possibility? You could share your ups and downs (and share babysitting) and make new friends. Another alternative is to start looking for a job closer to your mom. Just hang in there...

Answer 5

He is only 2, you have time to be better at reprimanding him. They learn very early. Don't think you are being mean, but YOU are the adult. You need to tell him NO! Don't cave in to what he wants. If you tell him to do something, and he doesn't, you need to stick with your guns. If you tell him he is in time out, for example, don't let him us early. You need to earn his respect. You need to be consistent too. If you tell him not to do something and then say, OK, go ahead, he is learning that you can be worked over. Try getting a job, even if you have a job, the social services system won't cut you off if you are a single parent. You will get a decrease, but maybe that is what you need. You need adult interaction. They will help you pay for daycare also. You need to get your life in order. You will feel much better if you do. Good LUck.

Answer 6

I know money might be tight but it sounds like you need to get a babysitter for a day or so and have some you time! It will refresh you and make you better able to handle a normal acting 2 yr old. YOu also might consider moving in with your mom until you get on your feet. If that is a option! I

Answer 7

two year olds are just demanding. you need to start being consistant in your ways and don't give into tantrams. try a time out chair for him to calm down. you need to find something to do while he is busy. like go to the park, where you can walk him in hte stroller so you get some exersize, or check out the clubs or help groups that are around and join.

Answer 8

i've got not got self belief he's spoiled. perhaps properly enjoyed yet no longer spoiled. a 10 week previous truly isn't sufficiently previous to control you, although somehting is erroneous. Mine did that too. It replaced into undesirable. could no longer accompolish something by no potential knew what to attempt next. We ultimately replaced how we've been feeding him. i realize it sounds loopy, enspically via fact that while his father carry him he cries too. yet are you breastfeeding him or formula feeding? the two way it must be some thing interior the formula or breastmilk. After 5 long months of this we found out that our son is allergic to the chemical in DHA. (This chemical additionally is going via breastmilk i attempted that first and he wasn't gaining weight). Watch how others are keeping him. Do they help his back, are they keeping him in yet differently then you definately are keeping him. With mine, a clean formula devoid of DHA in it and helping his back greater worked. Bouncers do no longer continually help the backbone. seem how he's sitting in, after some seconds does he look to scrounch performed. if so his back isn't being supported. Our boppy pillow supported his back greater and we could in basic terms lie him down in it and he replaced into greater suitable the place he ought to make certain and yet his back replaced into nevertheless supported. And remenber toddlers can remenber if some thing hurts them. that ought to reason a on the spot crying spell if he see some thing that has harm him formerly. It sounds to me like some thing is hurting him while he's placed down so seem out for signs and warning signs of that. and don't difficulty approximately him loosing his breath while he screams lots. My son turns blue specifically circumstances while he can no longer seize his breath. in basic terms blow in his face and it often makes them seize their breath. As for the jealous section make certain you quite play up the undeniable fact that the toddler loves the three year previous and once you have enterprise over say loud sufficient on your 3 year previous to pay attention how proud you're of him being certainly one of those great older brother. The little issues are what concerns and in case you are able to bring about them with the help of in basic terms telling different persons the coolest things approximately your 3 year previous understanding that he will pay attention it yet additionally understanding that he thinks you do no longer understand that he will pay attention it is going to truly help.

Answer 9

do you know that if you go to work and leave your child under age 5 in day care (with minders) then you are doing far more harm to society than by taking money from it? you greatly increase the risk that your child will be a burden to society if you put him in care now. give him what he needs, love. you.

you know, in scandanavia, they pay moms to stay home with their babies. because it benefits society. your working would hurt society, hurt your baby, hurt you. what on earth makes that a good thing?

Answer 10

just give him a yell one day that should day if that dosnt help try taking away something he really likes i know cause im a trouble kid and i know what works :)