This morning I got a letter on my myspace, one of my friend's boyfriend just got back from Iraq just 3 days ago. He didn't come and see her or anything. He asked his father to tell her that he was dumping her. This came as quite a shock to her. His father told her that he had changed. The same thing happened to my older sister. She was dating a man in the Marine Corps. He had already been to Afghanistan once and was gonna get shipped out to Iraq, he couldn't bare saying good bye to her so he broke up with her. This makes me so sad. Do these boys ever get better?
2006-10-23 12:54:21 · 8 answers · asked by Charlie 1 in Politics & Government ➔ Military
mebay they are thinking that their girlfriend will not be faithful to them while they are gone.......and sometimes i don`t think they are not soooo wrong about it............
2006-10-23 22:14:41 · answer #1 · answered by Sunshine 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I did the same damn thing before my second Iraq tour. Burned a hell of a lot of other bridges before I left too. Came back and never tried to build them up again. Never will.
It happens more often with people in subsequent tours I've found, because what they've experienced upto that point makes them think hard about if they're coming back alive or not. It's just easier not having to maintain those ties with people who have a lot of stake in you. Friends and family often don't know what it's like to actually be over there out of contact for a long time and push needs and desires down through email, snail mail, and phone calls that have absolutely no relevance to what someone's going through in the sandbox.
If I'm there in the sandbox, I don't want to hear about problems people may have back home. I don't want to hear about how I'm distant or not sharing everything. I don't need the sort of aggravation that comes from dragging myself to the phone center after a 12-15 hour burnout mission at 4am so I can listen to a familar voice - only to have that familiar voice whine about mundane problems that just don't have any meaning in life.
I have to say that some relationships I've found are very, very strong over distance, but these are usually people who have known each other for many years. Simple dating or even a long-term engagement often don't survive deployments of upto a year or more, never mind short marriages between the young.
Someday, someone will do a few surveys, and write a book on this. War ends more than physical lives, I've found. Everyone just has to cope as best they can and move on.
2006-10-23 21:14:02 · answer #2 · answered by Nat 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
These "boys" grow up very quickly. They see and do things they never thought they would experience. They grow into men and realize that life is short and making commitments to the wrong person could have devastating effects for both of them.
Saying goodbye is difficult for some because they truly believe they might not be back.
Lighten up-give them their space. If they don't come back, they weren't yours...
2006-10-23 20:29:41 · answer #3 · answered by gagam 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i am in the military, and so is my husband.. he is deploying in less then a month. i have friends that are coming and going to iraq, and family members. they things that they experiance down there have a big effect on their personality.. its called post dramtic stress syndrome... and sometimes when a military person has been away from their civilian (non military) friends, the civilans really dont realize what they have gone through day in and day out.. they have nothing in common anymore. i lost a lot of my friends back home, just because they dont understand what i go through. its not their fault, we just live different lives..
2006-10-23 21:29:52 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is difficult to date this men, since everything is difficult for them. Sometimes, by being apart so long, they change their habits or think they may have hurt the girl by being out there for so long. Most of them are always in the fear that their girlfriends or wives are cheating on them, so they feel insecure. And they have a reason, since these cheating girlfriends and wives seem to be the "usual" for a military man (and woman I bet). As a military wife, I tell you, it sucks!! But I bet it has to suck for them as well.
2006-10-23 20:08:19 · answer #5 · answered by gloryginorio 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men in war are changed forever. Some get better and renewed, some don't. Ask your friend not to take it personally, that her boyfriend has too much on his mind to deal with love and romance right now. In the World Wars, it took weeks to ship men back to their homelands, giving them a little time to decompress. Now it's just a matter of hours. Too soon to step
from death to life.
2006-10-23 20:00:08 · answer #6 · answered by beez 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
They just want the women to move on because life is too short these days and times.
But it could just be a test of the heart to see if the gal falls for it or if she will be faithful til the end.
Men play mind games . Just go with the flow.
2006-10-23 19:57:51 · answer #7 · answered by sunflare63 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
unless our military does some serious study on these wonderful warriors, we'll never know. he may have thought he was a danger to her. Hopefully he will go get help and come back to himself and to her.
2006-10-23 22:40:36 · answer #8 · answered by yellabanana77 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋