How to get my cat comfortable with me again?

Question

I have a cat about 3-4 years old. He lives outside basically. Only comes home for food. Everytime he sees me he runs away. I rarely get to pet him. I want him to be an in-door cat but how can I if he is afraid of me? What should I do?

Answer 1

Some cats are just like that. If that's his personality then all you can do is accept him, and enjoy him the way he is. You can sit outside and talk to him if he will not let you get real close. You can sit and wait till he comes to you to be petted. You can see if he'll let you play with him -- get one of those "interactive cat toys" at the grocery store, like the one with a feather at the end of an elastic string attached to a pole. He might like that. Sometimes if you sit and talk to them they'll look at you and roll on the ground and show they enjoy it. Even if they won't be picked up. You can leave a window or door open and let him stroll in, and just kind of ignore him, so that he'll feel like he can come in without being caught or picked up. That might make him more comfortable in the house.

Answer 2

We found a cat on the street about two months ago, and now she's a very content and affectionate indoor-only cat... At first she didn't want much attention at all; liked to hide, would not hang around to be petted, etc. But.

Patience!

I suggest closing the door and not letting him out -- neuter if you haven't already; would probably help -- and just being as gentle as possible. Stock up on cat treats, and reward him to death whenever he does allow some petting. Get some cat toys and catnip; catnip's cheap, and a "toy" can be tissue on a string -- see if he likes to play, and if so, make indoors more fun.

I got a carpet-covered "cat cave" -- that or even a nicely tricked-out cardboard box might appeal to his solitary nature. Mine is less inclined to hide now, though, and will come out of it when called. She prefers her heated (w/a drugstore heating pad on the lowest temperature) cat bed. Quite spoiled, yes, but I do suspect all the spoiling turned her into the purring kiss-up she is now.

Praise and cat treats in exchange for staying still for a petting seemed to do the most; that, and not pushing anything -- when she has enough of the petting, she's quite free to go.

Try:
http://www.sdnhm.org/exhibits/cats/indoors.html
http://vet.osu.edu/2309.htm

Answer 3

First of all, all the previous answers to this except the one posted by "Biker" are absolutely incorrect. If this cat is 4 years old, and has been living outside the entire time, and only comes to you for food and then runs, he probably feels uncomfortable around you because he has grown up without your interaction.

The most important time to handle a cat is when they are very small-if he was not handled much as a kitten, and grew up with less and less attention from humans, or you more specifically, of course he is unsure about your intentions when all of a sudden you want to hold him down and treat him differently than all this past time.

You SHOULD NOT force him in-moving the food closer to your door, talking soothingly as he comes near, or as he eats, and offering small treats and then watching from a window are all options to start gaining his trust back. This can take weeks, even months. I take care of a dozen or more feral cats at my house, and these cats are not tame, but have grown accustomed to me after months of my presence outside with them, not chasing or grabbing them, talking calmly, and most importantly giving them their space.

Worst case scenario is that he may not ever be the lap kitty you desire. But the answer may not be to abandon him for a new, cuddly kitten, especially if he is not castrated, which I urge you to do immediately if it is not already done.

Cats are living creatures that feel pain, jealously, and neglect. They are not disposable. I have faith that with enough coaxing, you can still maintain a rewarding relationship with your pet.

Answer 4

I don't think your cat is afraid of you. if it is afraid, it won't come home even for the food or it will get very nervous. I used to have 8 outdoor cats and true, they didn't live long, either they got crashed by a car or being poisoned by some cowards. I think you should try to catch him and keep him in the house for a week or so, buy his favorite food or cat toys, keep petting him, and train him to use the litter box. If it doesn't work, then he belongs to the jungle outside.

Answer 5

1. Try buying another cat to get her jealous.
2. Give her more food.
3. Buy her something she will like a cat toy etc...
4. When she comes to you for more food grab her and keep her inside for a day and see what happens.
5. Get a mouse so she can chase
6. Grab her and throw her in the tub so she can wake up and see you love her.
7. Pet her and stroke her so she can feel really loved
8. Good Luck!

Answer 6

well when he comes inside put little cat treats all the way to a room when he comes in shut the door and just seat and leave him alone now if he sees that you don't wanna hurt him he might come-over and start to purr and when he does this he is saying it is OK to pet me so pet him and if he runs off he is still a little uncertain but if you stay in there he will get used to you then don't let him out again

Answer 7

Unfortunately, outdoor cats have a tendancy to go feral, and they also have a life span about 1/5 that of an indoor cat. You'll have to bring him inside one way or another and keep him there. Treat him with lots of love, kindness, patience, quiet music (feral cats do not like loud noises - try classical or New Age) and allow him to become relaxed being an indoor cat at his own pace.

Answer 8

set the food out and slowly bring it to the door, then leave the door open and let the cat come in to get it a few times. That might help.

Answer 9

wow it doesnt even sound like hes your cat.. um anyway try to put the food inside the house and slowly move it every day closer to a room where you are at. when the cat is comfortable eating beside you, try to feed it something out of your hand but dont try to touch him yet he might think its a threat.get him to depend on you for food and shelter and company

Answer 10

Anna is dead on-target. Only thing I would add is the consideration of winter coming on- If you are wanting him back in the house full time, you may have to get him in the house sooner than try easing him back into the house. If this is what you are wanting, start him off in a small room with his own food/water bowls and litterbox. Check w some of the rescue groups in your area on ways to get him inside the house if you are not able to put hands on him at all. Some will help you with advice or even bring a livetrap to get him inside safe and sound. They have alot of information on resocializing cats. If he will allow you to carry him, just get him inside and don't let him back out.
Plan on spending time with him and not just shut in alone all day. If it's workable for you, carry your plate and have dinner in the same room. As he warms up to being around you then you can leave the door open and let him explore the house. Expect him to be hiding under the furniture alot for the first week at least. He will come out and be visible more and more as he realizes there is no threat to him in the house.
If you are just wanting him to remain an outside cat but more loving do 2 things. Make a bed somewhere in a protected area for his warmth and safety. Have his food there and a spot where you can sit and get reacquainted from a distance. Usually somewhere on the porch or garage/carport if not a covered porch. Quite honestly-he will live alot longer and healthier if you keep him an inside guy!
Try having some special treats like chicken or other meats to coax him closer (no chicken bones). Start by being around when he shows up for food. Don't try to approach him but let him get used to you being several feet away while he eats. Put a few bites of the meat in his regular food bowl along with his usual food. As he polishes those off and shows interest in getting more, gently toss/roll a few more bites in his direction if he will tolerate that. My daughter and I had a litter of very feral kittens to socialize. We had roasted chicken for supper and sat on the floor by their cage to have supper. We pulled a few bites off the bones and gave them tidbits through the bars.The aroma/taste of the food sure brought them around quickly! And talk to him, get him used to your voice and smell.
Food is the universal language of security.Slowly over the next days shorten the amt of distance between you and him. If he bolts then back up a bit. Ease closer day by day depending on how well he handles it.
If he's been outside for the majority of those 3-4 yrs, then he is pretty much feral and you need to re-socialize him accordingly. You are not going to be able to force him into suddenly accepting hugs and being held. If you are able to get him into your arms, don't force it if he wants to get free (unless you are going to carry him inside). The goal is to have him coming to you of his own free will. This can be accomplished by using the special treats to bribe him into coming closer.