Long story short. I wanna go on a trip. Iam dating a girl. Have been for 4 years. A while back i broke up with her and tried to go for another. Never woked out somehow we got back together cause we realized it was stupid. Now the other girl that I used to like is my good friend. My girlfriend hates her. The other girl wanted me to go to cali with her.My girlfriend is upset even though i explain to her she can trust me cause we have been dating for 4 years. She said its fine but is really bummed about it. I really wanna go cause i have a friend down there i really wanna meet up with.
My worries or downsides:
-that the girl im going with will be so busy with her friends down there that she will ignore me and ill be alone.
- I wont see my girlfriend for 3 months cause as soon as i get back she leaves for germany for 2 weeks.
Upsides:
- I will get to get away for a while to take a break cause i ned to get away.
- get to meet up with friend i never see.
- get to see new things.
2006-10-23 12:07:25 · 35 answers · asked by T 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
sorry this is so long but ANWAYS. People keep telling me to go when others dont. Im so confused. I need to get away but il miss her and she will be upset. I wanna see my friend i never see and see new things cause if i dont go ill sit around for 2 weeks doing nothing while my girlfriends gone.
WHAT SHOULD I DO? THIS IS SO HARD>
SERIOUS ANSWERS ONLY PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2006-10-23 12:07:39 · update #1
The problem is the "ex" which i never dated can ONLY go the week before we leave cause she has to go to school. So she cant go any other time
2006-10-23 12:18:00 · update #2
OK Sooooo to let you know SHE IS NOT AN EX.
She cant go with cause it would be toooo last min for her trip so theres no way she CAN go.
2006-10-23 12:20:44 · update #3
Just go mate, if its something you've always wanted to do do it, your lass should and by the sounds of it does understand (even if she doesn't like it). Things like this dont come along very often and you should jump at the chance. At the end of the day if you dont go you might start to resent her for making you stay, and it is only 3 months.
2006-10-23 14:05:35 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I see why you are confused but I personally think if you flipped your question on it's head ( ie this had all happened to your girlf and she wanted to go on holiday with that bloke she went out with etc etc) then you've got your answer it's a definite no go. If you want to see new things plan something you can do together and share the experience, it will be much more memorable that way, you still get the break you need too. It's a shame about the friends that you never see bit if you are good enough friends that you'd even consider risking your relationship for then they should be telling you not to go either and they should be arranging to see you at a more convenient time. There's also the possibility that this girl who has invited you still has feelings for you, I know your friends but talking from experience you can never go back to just being that, ther's always some under-lying sexual tension just dying to emerge once your out in the sun, drink in hand and friends-a-plenty and then how bad will you feel?? You're girlfriend is right to be wary of this lady, maybe you need to re-asses your feelings, being together for 4 years does not garuntee trust nor should you demand it like it's a loyalty bonus. if you truly truly love your girlfriend then stay with her, there will be other oppurtunities but you could lose her forever
2006-10-23 12:21:52 · answer #2 · answered by Merlin 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Obviously there are many sides to this story.
Truthfully, you need to bring your girlfriend with you.
Honestly, your relationship with her will take a very big downfall if you go. Girls are very jealous, but can keep there self needs inside, that's why she said fine. But REALLY she can't believe that your going on a vacation with your ex. Come on, think about it, would you let YOUR girlfriend go out on a 3 month extravaganza with her ex?You know you wouldn't let her.......
Plus, the main reason why she invited you is because she wants you. Your friend is trying to get you away from your girlfriend, so she can have some time with you without her in the way. And believe it or not, you are definitely going to do something with her. I mean, your a guy! You have know other choice than to do something with her. And also a plus that I can tell that you still like her, so something is definitely going to happen.
Eh...soooo....your best bet is to not go. Because if you bring your girlfriend, I'm sure your 'friend' will be highly disappointed.
2006-10-23 12:27:01 · answer #3 · answered by krazy_deviltry 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Firstly, why would you ever think your girlfriend would be ok with you going on a trip with the girl you broke up with her for? I don't know you personally, but even if you really are just friends with that girl, I can see how your girlfriend would be mad. Another possibility is that if you really want to go, and you won't see your girlfriend for three months maybe you should just take a break. UNLESS, you think it may be serious and could really turn into a long term relationship. In that situation, I wouldn't chance it. Hope everything works out for you.
2006-10-23 12:14:37 · answer #4 · answered by shootingstar0212 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try this: If your girlfriend was going to California with a guy she broke up with you for in the past, would you be at all upset? Especially if as soon as she got back you were going away for two weeks?
If I were your girfriend, I'd break up with you permanently if you went. You're being extremely selfish. In all your lists of worries, downsides, pros & cons, you never ever even mentioned what your girlfriend might feel about the whole thing as a factor.
2006-10-23 12:13:54 · answer #5 · answered by Bad Kitty! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My suggestion is to either
A) Put off the trip until your girlfriend leaves for Germany. You can spend that two weeks in Cali with your friends etc. Plus you won't have to worry about being around another girl.
B) Use the money you were going to spend in Cali to go to Germany with your girl for two weeks. You'll be getting away and be with your girl.
Or
C) Wait until you girl gets beack and you two can go to Cali with each other.
2006-10-23 12:14:12 · answer #6 · answered by butterflykisses427 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First - don't go with your ex. That would annoy me even after 4 years of dating. Go on your trip to see your freind but go when your girlfriend is in Germany - that way everyone is happy.
You get something to do when she is away. She won't be imagining you having a great time with your ex. You get to see your mate. You and your girlfriend get to spend more time together before she goes away.
2006-10-23 12:12:23 · answer #7 · answered by Leapling 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know what you want to do...you wnat to go to Cali...you're just not looking forward to the damage control you'll have to go through with your girl. I personally think you shouldn't go...if you put yourself in her shoes you'd be a little weary too...I say you hang out with your girl for the next few weeks and then she'll be gone to Germany. Party up while she's gone and then plan a trip down to California with another friend a month down the line. One you haven't dated before. Good luck.
2006-10-23 12:19:09 · answer #8 · answered by David 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if you hadnt already dated the other girl in the past i might say ok....but im sure your girlfreind wether she trusts you or not still has it in her head that you dated this girl.....and if it was me,,and my man wanted to go with another female on a vacation,,,we would be through. Why not take your girlfriend on a vacation with you,,did you ever think she might want to go with you???? I would be really upset if it was me,,you better be careful,,if you decide to do this your woman might not be there when you get back. Thats something you and her need to discuss again apparently.
2006-10-23 12:14:41 · answer #9 · answered by michelle 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems to me that the best time to go is when your girlfriend is in Germany - you'll both be away from each other and this will keep you occupied while she's out of the country.
If you want your relationship with your girlfriend to continue - I can only suggest that you DON'T go to Cali with this other girl. Also - why can't you wait until she's gone to Germany to visit your friend??
2006-10-23 12:12:52 · answer #10 · answered by Topez 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋