My son is very big for his age. Where most 4 year olds are about 35-40 pounds and about 4.5 feet tall, my son is almost 90 pounds and 5.5 feet tall.. he's 4.. with a 4 year old mentality. Since I realized that he was bigger than other kids (around 2) I have been trying to be extra vigilant when it comes to him hitting other kids. He's very strong, and he's much bigger, and I've been putting emphasis on " You're much bigger than other boys and girls your age, and you have to be careful not to hit people, because you might hurt them " ... sort of along the lines of " With great power comes great responsibility thing. Well, my son gets picked on alot,and he takes it very well because that's what I've been teaching him. My husband ( who is also very tall ) doesn't like what I've been teaching our son. He was taught the same thing as a child, and he resented never being able to defend himself as a child because he was bigger.
Whose right?
2006-10-23 11:56:07 · 11 answers · asked by Imani 5 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
Well i don't know who is right but does your husband know by fighting back it just opens a new can of worms . I mean really he gets into fights just because of a word that is said. If kids make him hate himself then you should go to there parents. People can be very disrespectful in life and it will be harder on him but always make sure he knows that you are there for him and no matter what people say he is speacial and someday how God has made him may help him in his career, basketball or some other sport. We all have good things about us and I dont think he should fight physicaly but he can take up for himself by showing he doesnt care how people treat him because no one is better than anyone.
2006-10-23 12:10:24 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are both right. he does need to be extra careful since he is so much bigger, but he also has a right to defend himself.
find a middle ground. maybe there are sometimes when he should defend himself, like if another kid just won't quit tormenting him. if the other kids know that he won't defend himself then they will keep picking on him. just let him know that it is never appropriate to hit girls. maybe if he were to stand up for himself even just once this might scare the kids from further bullying.
2006-10-23 12:10:25 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are both right. Let me explain. When "CONFRONTED" - aggressive behavior should never be acceptable or tolerated. This does not mean that if he is "ATTACKED" he should not defend himself. Teach him to always try and resolve his difference by communicating first (people skills). This will give him the ability to avoid numerous confrontations and you will be imparting knowledge and skills that he will use throughout the rest of his childhood and into his adult life. This does not mean that he has backed down from a fight, it means that he has outsmarted his opponent. He obviously has size on his side. This is the material that leaders are made of.
2006-10-23 12:26:03 · answer #3 · answered by standfirm 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your son could end up more like the Hulk and not Superman if he is unable to express himself or has to hold in his feelings. Years later he can become a monster. Your son was born in his body for a reason. As he grows older, let him appreciate his strength and size. But for now, it is best for your son to understand that he can hurt people if he is not careful.
2006-10-23 12:01:55 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
both of you are right.
You are right because, your kid should go around killing other kids! That's just not right. At all! So you are definately right for teaching him that!
But I mean, not all big kids are like that. And some day, your son is going to find that out. Older kids may push him around VERY meanly and he wants to do something. But you tell him no. You need to teach him when it's right to defend yourself and when you can just let it slide away.
Hope it helps!
2006-10-23 12:01:19 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would have to say you both are in a way. you are letting him know that it's not ok and your husband is because he wants him to stick up for himself. just meet in the middle on this issue. what i mean is let your son know it's not right to hit other kids but, if the other kids hit him that's a different story. he has to be allowed to stick up for himself, school is a very tough place these days and kids are mean let him stick up for himself with words first and if it comes down to the kids hitting him then ...well you know...
2006-10-23 12:04:08 · answer #6 · answered by lidakamo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i never experienced the problem but was verry how would u say able to fight but hey i think u should just let him defend himself otherwise hes gonna constantly get picked on and basically if he hits one then the other ones wont mess with him
2006-10-23 11:59:00 · answer #7 · answered by Jarron C 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm just wondering who has taught the child to hit in the first place.
2006-10-23 19:28:59 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He needs to learn that he cannot pick on others and that if others are picking on him then he needs to tell an adult, most schools are getting very strict on any type of physical contact, many things may be considered violence.
2006-10-23 12:05:19 · answer #9 · answered by Kitikat 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i always taught my son not to hit and it did result in bullies targeting him. i had to say - defend yourself. against whatever size creep goes after you - unless he's much younger.
and it turned everything around. his self-esteem increased big time and the bullies disappeared. i thought i was so modern and i was setting my poor boy up to be tormeneted.
2006-10-23 12:45:39 · answer #10 · answered by cassandra 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋