My wife's sister has been divorced for almost a year and a half. It was understandably hard on her becasue her husband left her for another woman and no one really saw it coming. The thing is she is always over at my house... evenings, weekends, three-day holidays! She likes to drink and after a few she starts asking me all these questions about men and sex... sometimes I am afraid that she is making a pass at me. My wife and her are very close and I have asked her to try and get her sister to give us some space but it never lasts more than a week or so. Am I being a jerk?
2006-10-23 11:10:17 · 6 answers · asked by No More 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
No you are not being a jerk at all. Tell you wife to define space to her sister (meaning every 2 weeks or once or twice a month to visit). Your sister in law is lonesome and needs support. maybe your wife can arrange a girl night with her at least once a month on a Saturday to get her sister out of the house, go shopping, pamper themselves and then send her home. When it comes to asking you questions about sex, you should flat out tell her that you do not want to talk about sex. Let her know that you can't speak for every man when it comes to sex and women. As far as the 3 day weekends, tell your wife to tell her sister that you all have plans for the 3 weekend even if you all are staying at home and spending time together. Hopefully that will nip that in the bud. If you or your wife have a single friend.,co-worker etc. maybe you can introduce them and that can give her something to do. Good Luck.
2006-10-23 12:20:10 · answer #1 · answered by Shay 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO you are not being a jerk. You have every right to one private time with your wife. During her grieving process, it was nice of you to let her spend time there. But now she's just taking advantage of it. She might be hanging around because she's too insecure to get out in the real world, or she might not like to be alone. Does she have any pets? If she doesnt and you think she would like one, get her one. Find out if she's allergic first. Get her a baby kitten. And get all the stuff to start her out: litter box, litter, food, bowls etc. With her new kitten, she may be inclined to stay home more often to care for it. Also, you need to have a serious talk with your wife, and get her to put a stop to this. Limit the visits to maybe one night a week. Or you could also talk to the sis-in-law and explain that while you enjoy the company, you and your wife are missing critical quality time because she's always there. Keep it up. It might take a lot of reminding.
2006-10-23 11:18:40 · answer #2 · answered by kari w 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, in fact your thoughts are quite reasonable. You shouldn't be telling us though...tell your wife! Inform her ina gentle way that you think her sister is spending to much time at your house. Maybe something like this;
"Hey, I know your sister is going through some really hard times...I mean, I can't imagine how she must feel, but she is spending a little to much time over here. Not only that, but she's been drinking more and more and I am definitely concerned for her. She always comes here, and always drinks.....maybe you should talk to her, and get her to go out, to other places, in hopes to break the cycle..."
Also mention to your wife that when she drinks it seems like she makes passes for you...and it does disturb you. Remind her that you want to help her sister....not that you just want to kick her out. I hope everything works out...good luck!
2006-10-23 11:16:46 · answer #3 · answered by xxxdarksakuraxxx 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since it's been going on for well over a year, you are entitled to some alone time with your wife. Take your wife to a motel for a weekend away from the sister, to remind her of what she's missing.
2006-10-23 11:15:54 · answer #4 · answered by nursesr4evr 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So tell your wife if you want to play Dr. Phil then do it on her own time, sis in law need some time to herself to heal not some one hold her hand
2006-10-23 11:15:19 · answer #5 · answered by feegatatki 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have discovered your lesson. The subsequent time she needs to take your son someplace, inform her that he are not able to. If she needs cash, do not deliver it to her. I can see why no person could wish to stick married to this type of cash grubber. Tell your husband that you don't wish her to get one cent of your cash for the way in which she handled your son and also you.
2016-09-01 01:36:25 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋