She is 10, and has lots of problems. Her mother is neglectful, so I feel that she needs to be part of our family. But she also has some very negative habits, like being occasionally hateful to my child, or talking back. I don't want this behavior modeled to my 3 year old, but my daughter adores her, and I know she needs us for some normalcy. What to do?
2006-10-23 11:09:29 · 14 answers · asked by clarabel_s 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
They can "play" together just make sure it's not alone and that it's at your house under your supervision. And don't hesitate to correct her behavior or ask her to leave if you are uncomfortable with her additude. It would probably do her some good to have a good role model!
2006-10-23 11:26:34 · answer #1 · answered by mommyem 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is hard... my daughter had a friend in first grade that came from a similar background... she wanted to come home with us all the time. I was hesitant because I didn't want her to end up there every day, because of her habits and behaviors. I know that she needed someone to help regulate her, but I wasn't sure that I wanted to be that person. I am a preschool teacher every day, and love my job- but it is a stressful one. I wasn't sure if I wanted to take on that responsibility for another child after a full day at work and my own two children to care for. In your situation, since she is a neighbor, she will be there all the time if you don't set limits. Allow her to play at your house, under your supervision for short periods of time. This way, you can help to regulate their play, and step in when you feel that she is crossing the line into behaviors you don't want your child to pick up. Then you can stop the play, and if need be, you can send the other child home. This way, your child can have a friend, but you are setting the limits on what is acceptable for your child at the same time.
2006-10-23 12:38:57 · answer #2 · answered by dolphin mama 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that's a big age difference. I also think you need to take a tough stance and eliminate their time together. I hate to put it this way, but your child's well-being should be much more important to you than providing normalcy for another person's child.
I understand your desire to reach out to her, though. Perhaps you can structure things so that the 10-year-old is never out of your sight when she's playing with your daughter. Most children behave better when they know an adult is watching.
2006-10-23 11:32:49 · answer #3 · answered by mommyofmegaboo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to appear at it this way- in case your 6 year previous daughter had a 9 year previous vast sister, she'd be gaining wisdom of those products now besides. I comprehend it is not an excuse or something, even though it is par for the path. you are able to attempt to guard your daughter from undesirable impacts, yet she DOES could desire to know the international round her. Being sheltered specifically circumstances potential toddlers are too trusting, which would be a procedures worse than understanding approximately tongue kissing. If I have been you, i might enable the youngsters to proceed enjoying jointly- at your place inclusive of your regulations. The door desires to be open while they play, and junk food should not be around.
2016-10-02 21:23:55 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell the older girl that she can play at your house, but that she must follow your rules. If she can't follow the rules, she can't come play. Tell her how much your daughter loves her and enjoys playing with her to give her a boost. This may make her want to follow the rules in your house. Just be firm and compassionate and hopefully she will see what you are trying to do and attempt to be on her best behavior.
2006-10-24 08:07:33 · answer #5 · answered by disneychick 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My son (3 years old) plays with a friend 6 years older, but she is well-behaved. Still, I would probably let your daughter play with your neighbor's daughter, but under your supervision. That way you can monitor their behaviors.
2006-10-24 18:35:39 · answer #6 · answered by Stefani 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Explain to her that this type of behavior will not be tolerated in your home and that if she doesn't abide by your rules that she will not be allowed over again. I have seen similar problems in children that live in my neighborhood because they are used this type of behavior in their home but she can be taught to be respectful. Remember that children live what they learn and she needs to see another side. By the way how neglectful is her mother? Maybe she should be reported.
2006-10-23 11:28:32 · answer #7 · answered by juicie813 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would only with very firm boundaries.
They can play together only in your house for an hour. (Maybe 4 - 5pm on school days and 9 - 10am on weekends.) They can only go in the family room where you can monitor everything all the time. Or they can play at the kitchen table together while you fix supper. Absolutely no closed doors and no going outside.
2006-10-23 11:14:02 · answer #8 · answered by CCTCC 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would let them play, but never unsupervised. The 10 year old is also old enough for you to tell her what you expect of her to be allowed to play at your house. Maybe telling her that your child looks up to her & she needs to be a good role model would help her too.
2006-10-23 11:15:17 · answer #9 · answered by yttik 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would just make sure that they were not left alone. If she does talk back to you or do something negative, tell her that is not acceptable in your family. If the behavior continues, tell her she'll have to come back when she is ready to be polite to others. She'll eventually figure out that when she's around you and your daughter, she is expected to behave positively.
2006-10-23 11:14:55 · answer #10 · answered by momof3 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋