I have an 11 month old daughter who when i leave her at daycare she starts crying hysterical what should i do?

Question

me and my husband are in the process of moving..he is already in va and i am also pregnant what can be wrong with my lil girl??

Answer 1

Nothing is wrong with her. Most children her age experiance seperation anxiety, even when things at home are normal.

Answer 2

Two things are happening: 1) she is stressed that you are leaving her, and 2) she is making sure you know about it.

My 18 mo. son was fine at daycare for about 2 mo. All was well. Then we took him out, went to husband's family for Christmas for 3wks. Came back - turned into a major crying jag every time he went to daycare again. The daycare provided told me that it lasted for about 5 min. every time. He did this with the babysitter. Sitter said it lasts about 5 min. Took him out of daycare this summer for about 5 weeks to deal with vacation, etc. Went back to daycare, and strolls right in without a care in the world.

Yes, you will feel horribly guilty about the racket your child makes. I did too. Your daughter will get used to the setting eventually. How long depends very much on your daughter. (you might even feel worse about the crying if you're pregnant, just from hormones and emotions).

If this persists for a long time, discuss it with the daycare provider and your pediatrician.

p.s.
No matter how spectacular some "studies" are about parenting, not everyone can afford to use their savings to stay home - if you use it, what are you left with when something really goes wrong? Daycare is not child abuse. And a working mother is not putting a car or vacation above her child's needs. Sure, staying home might be cheaper than daycare. But what is a single parent supposed to do? There is no option for them. We cannot simply dismiss all daycare choices as evil.

Answer 3

I work in a daycare and you can understand this is very normal for a child, especially at this age. I know it must be stressful and painful for you. But kids and even babies pick up on stressful and/or new events such as you moving. So the idea of her being separated from you is very scary and stressful. I have known kids much older and they cry almost nonstop for a month or more when it is a new experience for them. The only thing you can do is understand is that she is in good hands at the daycare. And depending where you live it is most likely the daycare people have a diploma in early childcare, we are obliged to here. So, know that your situation is NOT abnormal and things just need time. Perhaps if you bring a pacifier for her or a stuffed toy she loves and perhaps a favorite blanket. Goodluck and take care :)

Answer 4

That must be so painful to hear her cry when you leave! If you must work and leave her you just have to let her cry a little but try to be with her as much as possible during this stressful time for everyone. When families move, everyone is wound a little bit tight and children feel that. Offer lots of encouragement and always reassure her you'll be right back.

(My mom and dad used to do a trick on me when I was a kid...I still remember. They said, "Go to sleep and when you wake up, I'll be back!" And they always were, I always slept at day care and don't remember much else except sleeping but wasn't left there much. Yes! I really can remember when I was three!)

Answer 5

Find a way to not leave her at daycare. Maybe borrow from savings or get a loan so you can take a leave from your job and get settled in your new home. Once you are unpacked and settled try daycare again or find a way to stay home and raise the little ones yourself.
Good luck.

Answer 6

Aside from a ton of what appears to be upheavel in her life...Nothing. She may be young but knows when she isn't the center of the universe as she knows it. And when you leave her someplace. Probably reagradless of where/who you leave her with she does the same thing. You are going to have an uphill struggle for awhile till everything else around her, moving, new baby, father around more/all the time settles down.

Answer 7

Separtion, in her mind her mommy won't come back, but you have to reassure her and tell her mommy is coming back and give her hugs and kisses, soon she will realize that mommy is always coming back. I live in VA too, it's a great state to raise the kids. If you are a low income family and make only 3,000 a month you can get healthcare for the children under FAMIS

Answer 8

It may be just separation anxiety, or there may be another reason. How much longer til you move? If it will be a while, try to find another daycare, ask someone at work or someone you trust to suggest somone.

Answer 9

You can either invite a carer/worker to visit and play with your child or stay as long as she needs at the daycare centre. The days of dumping and walking away are gone. After all she is very young. It is in fact easier to employ people to help with the moving than to help with your child.

In short you have to be with your child and allow your child to familiarize herself with strange surroundings and new people in her own way.

I admit it's awkward now but you have to consider your child's long term. You don't want to sow the seeds of anxiety that may take years to eradicate.

Answer 10

You could put a picture of you and your husband in your daughters diaper bag and the day care person could hold it up from time to time when she cries. Kids really do know our faces very well. You could also incorporate an arts and craft keepsake for her. The toys that hang over her car seat, you can take the reflector mirror out of it and put a picture of you and or your husband to hang over her seat or crib.