My love with Depression?

Question

This is my last follow-up to this subject. I constantly try to keep myself depression/meloncholy etc. Music , thoughts, drawings or anything else than can keep me in the mood. It feels comforting, but if someone was depressed with me, it would be much better. I said in other posts I cut myself for the first time. Not a suicidal cut, just a simple cut. Since then I cut myself eight times just to see the blood run. It's very dramatic in the act alone. I'm looking for constant ways for a self-induced depression. I know I shouldn't cut myself; i don't have a better reason to do it, but I don't have a clear reason not to do it. It's like a tattoo almost, I won't die from it, I just cut to bleed a bit. Someone suggested i'm bi-polar, but i'm not. idk, but this life choice doesn't seem too bad once your in it. I feel in control. Only now I am beginning to accept it as who I am. Is this really a bad thing or just something that will pass over time. thanks to all who replied -ikarus_300

Answer 1

call 1800 suicide or 1800 dontcut. try me [e-mail]. depression follows me everyday. try leaving your email so i can get back to you quickly. try hanging in there. seriously see a doc real quick. go to metanoia.org or asktheinternettherapist.com.

Answer 2

I know how you feel, I feel like that sometimes too, more comfortable being depressed than happy. But you definetly should not hurt yourself like that. I used to do that. Now i have scars on my arms and when people ask me about them I hate it! They are a good reminder of what not to do.

I found that getting a tattoo or peircing gives me the same feeling with different results. I still get to hurt and bleed, but it's "okay"! I also find that since I don't cut myself anymore and I'm just chillin on the tatts for a bit, work has been the filler. I don't mean my job, I mean doin yard work or painting my room until I can barely stand up anymore! You could go out and ride your bike until you feel like your going to fall over. Or go the gym and work yourself over so that your muscles are sore for days!

The point is that just because you feel more comfortable depressed doesn't mean that some good can't come of it! Its a lot easier to bring yourself down than to make yourself happy, but if you show "bad" results, then only more bad will come (someone might think you really are suicidal and try to get you help, especially if your still in school). This can totally pass though too! The older I get the easier it is for me to be happy on a day to day basis. I don't have to fight it as much!

Good Luck and I hope you can find peace with everything. you can email me if you ever want to talk!!!

Answer 3

I think that you try to keep yourself depressed for the same reason you cut yourself; to feel something. Depression is a very tangible feeling, as is cutting. During the times in my life that I have been depressed, I remember thinking that if it weren't for feeling depressed I wouldn't feel anything at all, so I welcomed the feeling. I hope that your feelings do pass over time, but in my opinion, I think it would be in your best interest to speak to a counselor or seek out medical advice. Also, don't be fooled into believing that cutting is like a tatoo, it is not a safe practice. Cutting can be a very dangerous pastime (infection!!) and you CAN die from it.

Answer 4

I understand your feelings. I've been there on my younger days. Eventually thought, it blown into a big Depression. I am bipolar.
I am under medicine and enjoy living now, however, I do miss that quite, serenity sometimes.
I think being depress actually develop our artistic sense, and deeper in our thoughts.
It is your own world where you are in charge.
However, you can't stay there forever, and in this real life, you can still control lots of things.
and, definitely more people to share.
It is very tempting to get deeper into your cocoon, for it feels comfortable.
I sincerely asking you to have a talk with your doctor or counselor now, and find the joy from the brighter side of this life.

Answer 5

PLEASE STOP DOING THAT!!!! You cutting yourself is an abomination to your Creator.

Believe me, we all have days of wallowing in depression; but, those of us that love God also look for ways to get out of it; even if we do nothing more than just pray.

Search for professional help. There is no reason that I can think of for WANTING to be depressed. I've got bills up the whazzoo, I moved away from a man that I dearly loved because after 10 years, our relationship wasn't moving in a positive direction and I moved to an area where I hardly know anyone and I've been regretting it ever since. I pretty much cry on a daily basis; but, once I'm done, I wipe my tears away and get on with life.

Cry, if you must. Scream, if you must. But, please put away the knives, razors, etc. and get help. Good luck!

Answer 6

Well, it's not good to be unhappy all the time. It could be a phase, or maybe not. If it gets worse I would seek out help. Still, it is your choice how to live. You may even find someone like yourself and be happy being miserable together. ;). I have many depressed artistic friends and I enjoy seeing them. People are people. Can't be a grinning annoying optimistic person all the time, no matter how society thinks you should be.

Answer 7

Plain and simple you're a "cutter". These are growing cases of people cutting themselves to either "feel alive" or to release endorphins to give a euphoric feeling. If you are voluntarily making yourself depressed...you are cutting yourself to not be depressed (defeats the purpose). I recommend talking with a counselor.