my bestfriend sister is throwing her an engagment party but her sister never sent out invites. the party is on november 5 and my best friend called to tell me the day and time and who was invited in my family to go. my mom said no invite she is not going and told me that it is so very tacky to call people to tell them the infomation. problem is my little sister and i are in the wedding.
i feel weird going
so is it very rude for a bridesmaid and flower girl not to go to engagment party because invitationss for it where not sent?
just wondering what people 'opions are on stuff like this
thanks
please no rude feedback or mean stuff thank you
2006-10-23 10:08:59 · 11 answers · asked by ~*big mama *~ 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Gosh! I just can't imagine someone not sending out invitations to something as important as this! But, everything is just waaaay too relaxed anymore!
Possibly the underlying problem for your mother is that she wasn't personally invited. I would be offended, too, if someone invited me to an important function via a phone call to someone else. Now, THAT, in my opinion, is considered the height of tacky. Your friend could have, at the very least, called EVERYONE she wanted there. On second thought, her sister is hosting the party....SHE should be the one making the calls, not the guest of honor!
As to whether or not you should attend...well of course you should. You're in the wedding party....you need to be there! I applaud your mother for making her stand, but tell her to be the bigger person here.....refusing to go could make her appear as tacky as the no-invitation thing.
2006-10-23 10:24:32 · answer #1 · answered by Rembrandt11 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with your mom about the invites. I can understand her not going, and it is a bit tacky not to send invites to such an important party. However, since you and your sister are in the wedding, i think that you should attend even though only a phone call was made. Many people may feel like your mom, and not attend, and i think it's only right that members of the wedding party be there even if it's just to show support.
2006-10-23 17:17:22 · answer #2 · answered by prettydebutante 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I can see your Mom taking a stand. However since you and your sister are in the wedding party and we were CALLED and invited. You need to go. You cannot teach the entire world proper manners. OK, so they are a bit tacky. Whatever. Go and have fun and just remember when it's your turn or someone in your family's turn that you'll do it the way it should be done.
2006-10-23 17:11:25 · answer #3 · answered by BlueSea 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it is rude for you not to go just because they didn't send out invites. It is their choice how to invite people. If it is a big deal to you then make sure you send out invites when you have a party. Not everyone is like you and your family, and I think you should respect that.
Personally I think invites are a waste of money. You have to buy them and stamp them.
Then they usually go in the garbage.
It is a personal decision, but if it is that big of a deal then don't go. I'm pretty sure nobody's feelings will be hurt if they know the reason, they will just think you are being petty. I am not trying to be rude, just honest.
2006-10-23 17:14:16 · answer #4 · answered by butterfliesbrown 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah it may be tacky not to send out invites. But honestly, most of the formalities to weddings and their subsidary parties and invites have gone out the window. You're in the wedding, you should deffinately go to the party. If you're mother doesn't feel comfortable going, that is understandable because of generational differences, but I would talk her into it.
Did you know that sending an RSVP card in your wedding invite used to be a HUGE no no? It was expected that the woman of the recieving household would use her personal stationary to write you a "I will attend" or "I will not attend" letter.
2006-10-23 17:13:40 · answer #5 · answered by smellyfoot ™ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think its very rude of them NOT to do proper invites - I mean is this an engagement celebration or a backyard bbq? But I also think if you are in the bridal party you have to go. Plus just because they have poor manners, does not mean YOU do. Be the bigger person and attend and try not to think about the crap.
2006-10-23 17:19:06 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you're overshadowing the whole point of the engagement party, which is to celebrate these two people, their love, and their upcoming marriage. She is your best friend, afterall.
With the date so close, it actually seems more practical to make phone calls or send e-mails. The focus should be on gathering the people that are important to your best friend and her fiance, not the method of the invitation.
2006-10-23 18:42:54 · answer #7 · answered by rockthis102 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its just a peice of paper. Your not gonna go and celebrate because she didnt send invites?? What year is this? better question whos event is this? She can do this anyway SHE wants not the way your mom/her mom/or anyone else wants. Stop being so petty. If you and your mom doesnt go you will regret this and look back and feel STUPID!!!!!!!!
2006-10-23 17:27:43 · answer #8 · answered by frha75 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i have to agree with your mom on this one.
wedding invites went out , right? then the engagement party needs to have invites, too.
is it rude for you and your sister to NOT go? no more so than not sending invitations in the FIRST PLACE.
this doesn't count for hardcore rednecks
2006-10-23 17:20:34 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, people really do expect invitations. Just a phone call doesn't cut it.
2006-10-23 17:11:05 · answer #10 · answered by ndtaya 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋