My live-in gf of 5yrs and i just opened separate my-space accounts just for fun(it was my idea).Hers was very plan with basic info.About 3 weeks after we opened our account i noticed she fixed it up all of a sudden with music,photos.ect.I went into her account(i know her password) to fix a few things for her and noticed her old bf sent her a private msg saying i remember you ,i remember you well she then sent him a hi how have you been msg nothing bad. they went back and forth for about a week and it was oveous he was flirting with her and she never once told him listen a have a bf and im not interested .I should have waited to see how thing whould play out but i was just so mad i called her on it and she just played it off as no big deal.The problem i have is why did she not tell me about this and when i told her what i did as soon as she was alone she deleted her account. So am i over reacting i just feel someone your living with should tell you if a old bf contacted you.
2006-10-23 10:08:46 · 30 answers · asked by jmark0908 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
so what. is she not aloud to have friends. does she have to tell you when she goes to the bathroom too?
2006-10-23 10:11:16 · answer #1 · answered by JLEE 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think you are definately overreacting espcially considering you did not catch her doing anything wrong. As a matter of fact, if I were her, I would be angry with you for invading her privacy. My husband and I have myspace accounts, and we both have access to eachother's accounts. The difference between my husband and you is he would never dream of looking through my private messages even if he did go into my account for some reason. You obviously did not trust her because you had no reason to go into her private messages in the course of "fixing a few things". Maybe that is your core issue. Or maybe you are just mad beacuse YOUR plan to find someone on myspace backfired. If I were you I would appoligize and do something nice for her and respect her privacy in the future. The quickest way to send her back to her ex is to act like a jealous maniac.
2006-10-23 10:15:37 · answer #2 · answered by DazeyChain 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are overreacting. If she was interested in being with her ex, the conversations would have gotten flirty or even intimate. I am friends with many of my ex-boyfriends. They are all platonic friendships. If at any time they attempt to cross boundaries with me, I make it very clear that I am not interested in being in a relationship. There are times in conversations that private jokes we shared when we were together come up, but if I am with someone, I make it a point to explain the joke so they don't feel like I'm flirting with this person.
If after 5 years, you feel like you can't trust your girlfriend, then you need to find out why you have trust issues. Chances are, if your girl wanted to be with another guy, she would have left you alone long before now. We women sometimes have conversations with male friends that to us are nothing more than ffriendly conversations. If the guy we are speaking to, doesn't get that it is merely conversational and not romatic interest, that is the guy's problem. It is unfair of you to hold your girlfriend accountable for someone else's poor behavior.
2006-10-23 10:19:15 · answer #3 · answered by Meesh 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1. Thats the beauty of poking around in somebody elses stuff...You sometimes find things you didn't want to find...2. He was flirting. Or so you interpreted it as...She wasn't/didn't return the hints he was dropping. 3. When confronted with this, she shut the myspace down...I would leave it alone from here. She appears to have stopped the contact, which may or may not have had any meaning. You keep pursuing it and she'll get pissed and nothing good will come out of that...
2006-10-23 10:16:05 · answer #4 · answered by Psycomagnet 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been married 6 years and my relationship with my husband is very strong. What makes it work is that neither of us is controlling of the other one, and we have complete trust in one another. I know if an old GF of his contacted him, it would be completely harmless. Would he tell me about it? Maybe, but not necessarily. Just because she kept it quiet doesn't mean she has reason to act on the sly. It's probably truly just not a big deal. I think you're overreacting. Your relationship will never work if you can't trust her, and this will drive her away knowing you keep such close tabs on her. She needs to be her own person with her own life. Be understanding and chill.
2006-10-23 10:13:45 · answer #5 · answered by A W 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
personally i am in agreement with you. trust is a two way street. you innocently went in to fix something for her and got slammed with this info. she should have trusted you and told you the minute contact was made. since she didn't tell you there is probably a problem. she may not cheat on you but she didn't feel comfortable telling you whether because she was going to cheat or she did not trust your reactions. it still boils down to distrust in your relationship. also she deleted her account . that is not something that an innocent would do. good luck
2006-10-23 10:17:13 · answer #6 · answered by angel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She did this because playing online games with her former lover was fun for her.
She didn't tell you about it because she knew you'd be mad, and possibly because she knew it was wrong.
I agree with you; if you have to hide it or won't do it in from of your parnter, it's cheating.
Do you think she's opened a new account without telling you? She's already lied, so I'd assume she closed this account to make you think everything was ok, but probably opened a new one and hasn't told you.
2006-10-23 10:16:22 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Flirting is ok. Past relationships are hard to get over.
The reason she didn't tell you is because of this EXACT response.
Over reacting, yes. She can't cheat on you online. Only if she goes out to see him. That would be reason for concern.
I've posted this reasoning before...
>Put your hand in a bowl of water, make a TIGHT fist, pull your hand out, now open it.
>Now, put your hand back in the bowl, GENTLY cup your hand, lift slowly
>>>Which one allowed you to hold on to what you wanted?
I'm a victim of this very same parable. So...I know exactly what can happen.
2006-10-23 10:19:00 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well your girlfirend was just flirting safely on the internet and thought of it probably as harmless. it doesn;t mean she actually wants to be with him again. it just probably made her feel good to flirt and when you found out she deleted it because4 she probably didnt want to get you any more mad or hurt over nothing so she just left it like she did'nt care. she could take it or leave it. he is probably her ex for a reason and obviously she has been with you for sometime so that has to mean something, screw her ex and forgive her and get on with your relationship but never ever in your relationshionships do you ever let your guard down:)
2006-10-23 10:15:45 · answer #9 · answered by shy_happy25 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
are you her bf or her dad?
One, did she ask you to change something for her? if not then you had NO RIGHT to go on her page and read her messages.
i hate guys that do that.
unless she is sending him messages saying like "lets get together and catch up" then chill out. she is probably just talking to him, is it a good idea? NO but if she isn't doing anything to make her ex want her back or something then its not a big deal.
dont be a father and read her messages. its rude. just relax and ask her out it CALMLY. and if she gets defensive then she might still have feelings for him but the fact that she has been with you so long i highly doubt she is just going to go back with her ex after talking on myspace.
good luck
2006-10-23 10:15:56 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She sounds a bit like me, my ex contacts me and I really couldn't care less about him, but I am still willing to be friends and talk. I probably wouldn't bring it up to whoever I'm dating either in her situation. Mostly because my ex doesn't matter, and the fact that he's tryin to talk to me doesn't bother me.
I do find it odd that she went and deleted her account though..
2006-10-23 10:17:28 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋