Do u find that strange? I try to have eye contact with people but I find it hard to do for a prelonged amount of time. If I ever go on a date I don't want the guy to think I'm not interested just b/c I can't look at him the whole time.
I don't want self-esteem/confidence lectures. I know another gal who does this too.
2006-10-23 09:30:19 · 10 answers · asked by missgigglebunny 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
In grade school a evil speech pathlogist kept insisting that I do straight eye contact. I hated her for that. Anyone exerience something like that too? I ment can't not can.
2006-10-23 09:40:09 · update #1
Well, I guess since you don't want to address confidence, I'll mozy on over to another area that might help you.
When it comes to myself, what I do is just concentrate on the subject being discussed and think deeply on what the other person is saying. I will pull away visually and kind of soak in the subject, then reconnect when I have something to add. I believe that this is one of those skills that are developed best by practicing over and over.
There are groups that help you with that - like Toastmasters International or similar. They help you to hone in on skills for talking before groups of people. It isn't the one-on-one like you would have if you were on an interview or talking to a customer, but it is still using the eye contact to convey information. They say to find a "friendly face" and kind of look toward this person more often, but to still look at other faces, while maintaining concentration on the subject you are talking about.
You may still feel an attraction toward someone, and your face may become flush, but this is where mind-over-matter has to come in. You would have to quickly "tell" yourself to cool off, become matter-of-fact toward the person with almost a non-interested glance. This might help to simmer down the hormones, so to speak.
If the other person (male) elects to be responsive to my unintended "flush" of face, I then work quickly to make shorter glances, shorter comments, more matter-of-fact and make the appearance of being in a hurry.
Bottom line, just takes practice. In time, you'll be more comfortable in being able to address persons you are attracted to, and to come across as professional rathar than evoking some sort of response from them that may become uncomfortable. Good luck to you!
2006-10-23 11:09:13 · answer #1 · answered by YRofTexas 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i discover it complicated to stare people in the attention too, reckoning on the area. often times i discover that i can not look a individual in the attention for a protracted time if i'm the two tired of what they could say, or sense like they're mendacity approximately some thing. Eyes are the portals to the soul and a few people have very gruesome souls and for that reason are complicated to look at. I have not have been given any project conserving eye touch with my close buddies or adult males i'm surely attracted too. you in all risk won't the two. sturdy good fortune.
2016-10-16 07:46:13 · answer #2 · answered by leong 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing wrong with that!Only about half of all people will look you straight in the eye as they are speaking to you.Its not a bit unusual to feel like you conversate better by not looking directly into anyones eyes.
2006-10-23 09:34:04 · answer #3 · answered by gibbyguys 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have the same problem and I have been in this relationship for 8 months... just let them know that you have a hard time looking people in the eyes while talking, and that it is nothing against them. Kind of like stage fright but only sight fright...lol.
2006-10-23 09:33:38 · answer #4 · answered by Bella 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try focusing on there forehead or in between there eyes. That way it appears you are looking at them without direct eye contact. It is also OK to look them in the eye and than glance around the room than go back to eye contact.
2006-10-23 09:39:52 · answer #5 · answered by slaphappypimp 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yup it happens to me too i hate when guys just stare at me sometimes i he just stares at me but i can't look at him in the eye it makes me so freakin nervous.
2006-10-23 09:35:35 · answer #6 · answered by sexyeri 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i guess all the people that answer u have the same feeling as u. of course everyone has that feeling, but its fun to say it to them, "dont look at me" that might make them laugh or it might not. they wont think that u dont like them. but sometimes its nice to look at them, its not that hard.
2006-10-23 09:38:18 · answer #7 · answered by kAnDy_69 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i do that too. like you look at someone for a while then, its seems all weird right?
2006-10-23 09:32:32 · answer #8 · answered by mi2z_myst3ry 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am the same way.
2006-10-23 09:32:36 · answer #9 · answered by neilinhp 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Um your question says you CAN stand it???? Well can you or cant you?
2006-10-23 09:33:52 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋