The ChristiansI have been with get too strung up on what they believe and they can't accept a person for who they are and the type of person they are. I was good to her. I didn't abuse her. We spent time together. I told her I loved her. I kissed her good night every night. Yet, she couldn't look past me being an atheist. I think pagans/atheists/agnostics will be more understanding... should I completely forsake all Christian women from now on and steer towards these others?
2006-10-23 09:20:51 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
I don't date anyone who follows a religion of any kind. Religion and money are the top two reasons for breakups.
Even though that limits my dating opportunities by a huge margin, I'm not going to waste any more time on someone that values an imaginary deity more than they value me. And let's face it... how many theists, if put in the position, would denounce their god for the sake of their spouse? Not too many. I'd prefer someone that is dedicated to me, rather than the easter bunny. (Because I would be that dedicated to her. It's only fair...)
My ex was a Methodist...
2006-10-23 09:35:11 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
A lot of people will disagree with this, but I think that religious compatibility is as important as intellectual compatibility when selecting someone to see romatically. Even if you both wind up seeing eachother for eachother, regardless of religious belief, what if it gets serious? what will you raise the kids as? what will family gatherings be like? Wouldn't it cause tension in your relationship if a Christian girl's family were always trying to save you, or convince her to save you?
In a relatioinship- obviously it would be boring to select a carbon copy of yourself to date (to say nothing of narcissistic and creepy) but you need to be compatible on the big issues.
Pagans are used to nobody agreeing with them religiously, including other pagans, and will be less uptight about it. Also, a pagan girl's family is unlikely to also be pagan, so gatherings won't turn into a big old conversion fest. An agnostic or atheist girl will not be in conflict with you at all. One of those would be a better fit. If you REALLY fall for a Christian girl, though, as long as you address any probable conflicts early on, maybe it'll be ok. Your previous girlfirends may have eventually succumbed to pressure from outside sources. Make sure her family and friends like you and it'll probably go smoother.
2006-10-24 06:18:38 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it has to do with the women you've been with being "Christian" - it's just the difference between someone who has strong spiritual beliefs and someone who does not. I think she just wanted to totally share that most significant aspect of herself (her spirituality) with you - that is, you coming to learn and believe as she does. You would likely have the same issues with a devout or relatively spiritual "Jew / Muslim / Hindu / Buddhist or Zoroastrian" (for example) because their spirituality is usually a huge part of who they are. Not to mention - from everything I've read and experienced - people who share the same spiritual beliefs (no matter what that is) seem to have a much deeper connection through sex and better sex.
Apart from that - If I hated sports and wanted to "make things work" with a sports fanatic - that would be very difficult also. If the most fundamental part of you doesn't connect with the most fundamental part of the other person - nothing else seems to be enough to carry long term commitment through the tough times.
(That's 22 years of marriage talking here.) Good luck to you.
2006-10-23 15:23:18 · answer #3 · answered by Evy 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
From what I've seen in your other posts, you need to work on yourself and see how judgemental you are before you start dating again. You act as if the problem is always with the other person. You need to take a good look at yourself and start taking part of the responsibility in your past failed relationships. We are all human and make mistakes. No one is perfect and you are not even close to perfection. You know darn well the problem is not religious related or non-religious related. Part of the problem is you and you need to deal with it.
2006-10-23 16:20:37 · answer #4 · answered by Maureen B 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most fundamental christian religions teach anything outside of their point of view is evil. She will eventually learn that she passed up a perfectly kind and loving man. I tried, for the sake of being one of the Chosen, to be a Southern Baptist but my soul has guided me to also pagan and the agnostic beliefs. I am more fulfilled and am more easy with myself and my spiritual gifts than I have ever been. Find a group in your community that has similar beliefs as you. You are more likely to find an understanding and giving relationship...
2006-10-23 09:37:23 · answer #5 · answered by smecky809042003 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Logically it makes sense. But you can't control who you're attracted to. Perhaps you can simply put it on the table from day one. That doesn't guarantee anything, but you may be able to weed out the fanatics that way.
If you want to try fishing in another pond, you'll have to go where they swim. To be sure of what fish you pull out, that is. In many places, if you throw a rock you're more likely to hit a christian, so to speak, so you would want to try to narrow things down a bit.
2006-10-23 09:27:09 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
yep.
I'm Buddhist, married, but if I had to date again, I wouldn't go out with a Christian who wanted to change me. Not that I am anti- Christian by any means, I am sure some mixed marriages work. I guess if your wife couldn't accept you, then you shouldn't have married her/ she shouldn't have married you....
You probably could meet a liberal minded church goer who doesn't really care what you do or dont do or what your beliefs are--- Maybe go to a Unitarian Church & you'll find people of all beliefs who accept those who believe all beliefs... a good place to start.
2006-10-23 09:44:08 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
You'd have better luck with someone who doesn't mind that you're atheist, no matter what their religion (or lack thereof) is. You're got to remember that some Christians are filled with the fervor... and others are just nominally Christian - they have the beliefs, but don't really put much effort or consideration into it.
2006-10-24 02:13:56 · answer #8 · answered by ArcadianStormcrow 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No.
Don't judge them by their religion, judge them by their personality. Not all christians are so short-sighted as the first two. If you find a pagan or atheist or agnostic that you like, then good - date them. If you find a hindu or moslem or jew or zoroastran or mayan that floats your boat, go out with them instead.
2006-10-23 09:27:09 · answer #9 · answered by Ralfcoder 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Try to date someone for who they truly are if they are pagan or christian..Just keep your heart open and all will work out in the end.
2006-10-23 09:28:50 · answer #10 · answered by Just Askin' 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋