I'm w/a wonderful guy.We started plan'n our wed'n 6 months ago. I loved the date 7/7/7 @ 7pm.We're still plan'n it.We aren't engaged yet but we do know this is what we want to do.He hasn't told his family R friends yet but loves 2 tell mine.Thing is, we just found out that his best friend just proposed 2 his girlfriend on Friday & they already planned everything over the weekend & they picked 7/7/7. He just asked my fiance' 2 B N his wedding & he accepted but he also said hey that's our date.Should I B mad @ him, change my date, R what?I just think it's not fair b/c she comes from money & could plan everything over a weekend & It'll take me a few months 2 plan b/c I'm saving.& I'm upset 2 the fact that he says that he's upset b/c he wants 2 B N his friend's wedding but I know he'll just B an usher & he wants 2 marry me on that date also. I also know that if the shoe was on the other foot, he would not change his date.What should I do?I know I come first but I wanna make him happy too
2006-10-23 09:15:47 · 12 answers · asked by angelic1302 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
The girl's rich and I can't compete with that so combining the receptions is out of the question. Plus It just hurts me that he's hurt. Plus I feel like I must bow down to people who have more money than I do and I just will not!
2006-10-23 09:35:47 · update #1
Plus we were getting engaged in the next 2 months.
2006-10-23 09:40:37 · update #2
First, you need to sit him down and tell him what you want. What aren't you engaged yet? Why isn't he telling his parents and friends? You need to open him open to better communication. The date being chosen by one of your friends is the least of your worries. I'm sorry if this is harsh, but I've been through it, and I am still not married!
If you are really getting married on 7/7/7, you need to book it now! This is a very popular date due to of the July 4th holiday and also it will be very popular because of the sequence of numbers in the date. I am a planner and recently at a tradeshow, I heard numerous brides (5-10) give this date as their answer. Put your deposits in now. you can save the rest later. This is part of the reason why you need to have a talk with him as soon as possible.
Next, you need to address the same date issue. MAybe you can plan to have a dual wedding. It would cut down on overall costs. You would need to contact the other couple and ask them. Surely his best knows that you are planning on getting engaged. He might think it is a great idea... just be honest with him. Other than that, you should try different times. If many guests will be attending both weddings, take that into consideration and plan a considerable time gap between the two. You don't want to tire the guests and honestly, going to 2 weddings in one day is hard. Hmmm. Maybe it would be even better to do a dual reception. You can always do seperate ceremonies and get married at the same time then combine the reception.
I hope this helps. But remember... you need to have a talk with him first. Get some things settled. Surely it bothers you that you aren't engaged yet and he isn't telling his loved ones. Get to the bottom of it now before it is too late and you can't get your deposits back.
2006-10-23 12:41:19 · answer #1 · answered by Ro b 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
So you're not engaged but already planning the wedding? Sounds like you are moving really fast, get engaged first then plan. I think you should have a discussion with him about what he really wants and what future he really sees with you specially since he hasn't told his family or his friends what his intentions are. Is there a really good reason he's being secretive? And since his friends didn't know...how can you be upset that they picked that date, which is in the grand scheme of things just a number? They couldn't have done it on purpose.
PS: Money should have nothing to do with this...you should be respected no matter how much or little you have and you have a right to have a wedding you love. You and your boyfriend are due for a long and honest talk I think.
2006-10-23 18:59:17 · answer #2 · answered by Kenyath 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sound to me like you're already engaged, if you're already planning your wedding. So, if you haven't announced your engagement yet, then that date wasn't "spoken for" as it were.
Your choices are: 1. Have a double wedding with them, if they're friends. I understand she has more money, but you could still balance it out somehow. -or- 2. Change the date of yours, -or- 3. Have it on the same day, but have it much smaller than you were planning.
Personally, I think people spend waaaaay too much money on weddings. Keep it small, simple & romantic, and save the big money for a down payment on a house or something.
2006-10-23 19:38:07 · answer #3 · answered by locolady98 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, you can't really be too upset since you guys are not engaged. If he was so concerned about saving the date, then he would have popped the question, and finalized plans versus planning a wedding around a hypothetical engagment. Nothing is in stone, so the best thing to do is to set another date.
2006-10-23 16:33:12 · answer #4 · answered by prettydebutante 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
you cant be upset. this is a "first come first serve" and you guys took way to long. Also keeping it hush hush doesnt help matters. Early bird gets the worm hun so it looks like your a guest not a bride. dont bother getting the other couple upset either-its just a date you dont want your boyfriend to loose a mate over this. Think of it as a lesson learned-next time dont keep everything so secretive. another thing-dont try to make your wedding on the same day. you will be stealing their thunder and they did book everything first. By trying to squeeze in on the spotlight on that day you may some enemies. Not worth it. pick another day.
2006-10-23 17:17:36 · answer #5 · answered by frha75 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It sounds like you should have announced your engagement a long time ago.
Now that your future husband has agreed to be an usher at the friends wedding, it looks like you will have to change your wedding date!
The best thing to do is accept what you cannot change and plan to enjoy the festivities, etc.
2006-10-23 16:27:45 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
What time is their wedding? maybe one of you can do morning and the other evening. Especially if you man isn't going to have to follow his friend around for the entire day like a maid of honor or family member.
Making him choose between you and his best friend is never a good idea. It is cruel to him. Do you think he would put you in the same position? Besides, you hadn't actually made a commitment.
2006-10-23 16:49:41 · answer #7 · answered by Shanna J 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
look at it this way....he'll already have a tux for the day....maybe you two could somehow combine your receptions? not the dinner or other things but the dancing...? don't know how good of friends you are with the other girl. I would party like crazy at their wedding and then take off for hawaii and get married on the beach. i spent about ten thousand on a wedding once and regretted not spending it on everything but fun for us. up to you but I'd run with it...hehe
2006-10-23 16:31:04 · answer #8 · answered by igot_terminal_uniqueness 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
what about changing it to 8/8/8 don't know what day that falls on but sounds good. Did the other couple know that was the day you planned, if so, I'd be mad at them, not your fiance. Obviously if they did, they don't want yours to happen on that day to steal the spotling from them
2006-10-23 19:34:38 · answer #9 · answered by tray 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think that you to should work it out but that he should relize that he is going to spend the rest of his life with you and that you both should do what would make your day special. if it is having it on a special date then that is what you should do. do not make a huge deal out of this because you do not want to start of your marraige with a huge fight like this.
2006-10-23 16:24:32 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋