im 28 with no goals in life, never have had any, and i dont know why. my bf thinks im a loser cause i still live at home, what can I do to get motivated?
2006-10-23 09:14:07 · 11 answers · asked by Dreamer 1 in Health ➔ Mental Health
First find something that you really want and set a deadline to get get it . there you go you have set a goal for yourself. being 28 and still living at home a good goal for you is to get an apartment of your own....
2006-10-23 09:18:49 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Start by imagining you in let's say 1 year (or 5) from now, in the best possible way. Take your time to think this through. Where will you be? What will you do? Try to make the picture as vivid as you can.. what wil you look like, what will you wear, who will be the important people in your life? What will a normal weekday look like? If there is anything in that picture that is different from your present situation, you got a goal.
write it down and then think of the things you need to do or get to get to that ideal picture. You need more money than you have now? More education? More friends? Try to find some means to get those.. a better job, taking a course, joining a club.. Break it down to steps you can take to reach your goals and start tomorrow. If you feel you can't do it by yourself, ask for help.
There is no guarantee you will reach your goals, but not doing anything surely will not get you anywhere, cause most probably no one will do it for you. If your ideal situation in 1 (or 5) years from now does not differ in any way from your present situation: stay right where you are. If that is what makes you feel good, that's fine. You are responsible for your life, and though there are surely some things you can't change, you would be surprised to see how much can be changed if you really want to do it. There will be disappointments and failures, but that's life; don't let it stop you from trying. Having goals to work towards to makes life interesting.
I wish you good luck in trying to figure out what you would like to be and do in the future!
Love from Holland!
PS Your boyfriend should not call you a loser (nor should anyone else, for that matter). He should be helping and supporting you to get where you want to be. If not, you might be better off without him...
2006-10-23 16:41:14 · answer #2 · answered by icqanne 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess the first place ot start is to make some goals, even if you're unsure of what you want. Make a goal, and aim for it. Put a time limit on it. If when the time comes, you haven't achieved your goal, or don't think it's the right goal for you, then it's OK to get a new goal. Eventually you may stumble on what you really want to do.
A good book is "Launching a Leadership Revolution" by Brady and Woodward.
The title may not sound like it applies to you, but there are a few great chapters about goal setting, game planning, breaking your goals down inot smaller achievable sub-goals. Here's the Amazon link:
http://www.amazon.com/Launching-Leadership-Revolution-Developing-Yourself/dp/0976864509/ref=sr_11_1/102-3027201-4354501?ie=UTF8
It's OK to miss your goals. As has been wisely said, "If you aim at nothing, you'll hit it every time." [Anon.]
Love Jack
PS: I just saw Dawn's comment HAHAHA -- Bravo, Dawn! I agree... maybe a good first goal for you would be to dump the boyfriend. If you're such a "loser," why is he with you? Maybe he's WHY you're aimless now... he could be holding you back -- just a thought.... :-)
2006-10-23 16:33:09 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You start having goals by setting them. Think of something or someplace you want to be in life, and over time work at getting to that place. For instance, you could make it your goal to move out of your parent's house within the next year. That is a great goal. Once you've set a goal for yourself, you know what you're working towards. Then you can make mini goals to help you through the different steps, such as making it a goal to find a place to live within a certain amount of time, packing your stuff, telling your parents, and everything else. Best of luck!
2006-10-23 17:38:46 · answer #4 · answered by jennabeanski 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What appeals to you? Do you like animals, maybe look into being a vet tech. Do you like helping people? Volunteer at a hospital or think about becoming a nurse.
You have a bf, so you must care about something, but he is a loser for calling you a loser. Set a small goal, maybe finish reading a novel. Start small. Good Luck.
2006-10-23 16:21:32 · answer #5 · answered by Dawn C 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes lack of motivation is a sign of depression, or it might be low Self-esteem. There are lots of self-help books that help you learn more about yourself and how to figure out what your life should be about. Go to the library or bookstore. If you think you're depressed find a professional to talk to. Don't let anyone call you a loser - just the fact that you want to find out lifts you out of the lose category. Good Luck.
2006-10-23 16:34:30 · answer #6 · answered by constant dieter 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To have goals you have to find first what is your call in this life. What is your purpose, what is that activity, work, stuff that you would do, even if you don't get paid for it.
When you find that you will discover passion, dreams, goals and motivation. Do not get depress, you have many years ahead. More important, do not allow other people's opinions about you to define who you are and how you feel and think about yourself.
2006-10-23 16:25:02 · answer #7 · answered by Victoria 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOU KNOW THERE ARE A LOT OF PEOPLE LIKE YOU, I USE TO DATE SOMEONE LIKE THAT AND I COULDN'T HANDLE THAT FACT THAT HE WAS COMFORTABLE WITH LIVING AT HOME AND WORKING A JOB THAT WILL NOT GO ANY WHERE. YOU HAVE TO WANT TO DO SOME THING FOR YOU, IT'S JUST LIKE WHEN SOME ONE IS ON DRUGS THE ADDICT HAS TO REALIZE THAT THEY HAVE A PROBLEM TH ATS WHEN CHANGE TAKES PLACE . WELL IT'S THE SAME THING WITH YOU, EVEN IF EVERY PERSON HAD AN ANSWER ON HERE IT WOULD REALLY BE UP TO YOU TO MAKE A CHANGE WHAT ARE YOUR DREAMS, THINK ABOUT THAT AND MOVE ON FROM THERE!
2006-10-23 17:23:28 · answer #8 · answered by cody 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
do something you like. that worked for me.
you're not a loser, that's a strong word, especially coming from your bf. a loser doesn't want to improve his life like you do and doesn't ask this kind of questions. maybe you just didn't find your thing yet.
2006-10-23 16:24:27 · answer #9 · answered by Deep Thought 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Start a list of small goals. Start with fun, simple things that you can acomplish and cross off your list. Once you start to cross things off, you can come up with bigger goals, and start working on those
2006-10-23 16:19:58 · answer #10 · answered by Emmy G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋