Why is my 3yr old so aggressive???

Question

My little boy is 3yrs old, He has a normal life lives with mummy and daddy and his twin baby sisters. He goes to play group 3 times a week. But for the past thew months he has started getting really aggressive, he swears, smacks, spits and he finds it very hard to listen. Someone suggested he may have something called A.D.H.D, but cant get tested untill he is five, I cant wait this long, he's only 3 and he's really going to hurt someone!! Please Help!

Answer 1

Talk with your pediatrician soon!! The acronym I believe stands for attention deficit, H? disorder, please ask the pediatrician now to better understand how and why your son is acting out. Will definitely help him in the long run.

Answer 2

I am a.d.h.d. as well as 2 of 4 of my children and the serotonin that is absent from the neuronet in our brains does not pose a problem until about age 8. I have done extensive studies at University and elementary levels. He is three, a selfish age of learning about separation anxiety, you now have twin babies in the house taking attention from him, as well as overstimulating him. You are most likely overwhelmed and he certainly feels it. Playgroups are great, however they don't give him special time alone with mummy and daddy, so what ever will get the attention back to him negatively or not will do fine with him. Take the negative away, don't let him shock you with words, words you can ignore, the physical may disappear if he gets some private time back, if not then put a consequence with every action. Our sons were put into a chair in the very boring kitchen where we had a child gate put up as well as cabinet and drawer locks. When he got out out of the chair the timer was simply reset for 5 minutes if he became destructive or cursed we added a half a minute for each action. after the tantrum we asked if he knew what angered him and if he knew of a way we could help so he would not spend so much time in time out.We gave him a chance to have a bit of power and a little say in how we could prevent his anger.

Answer 3

Personally I think it is far too soon to be talking about ADHD at this stage. It is probably something as simple as jealousy over his new sisters. He was used to getting all the attention & now it is being split three ways.
you probably already are but I would suggest getting him involved in looking after the twins and letting him know how much you value his help.
set time aside for just the two of you for stories or games or even just cuddles in front of the telly. He is probably finding it hard to express his feelings & is venting his frustration.
Maybe you could ask his playgroup if they would do activities based on baby brothers or sisters or twins so that he can relate to the staff & express his feelings on the subject.
Change is always hard for any child & this is a huge change to his home life.

Answer 4

I have read all of the answers so far, some of which are very informative and well worth taking note of. I have only one other thing to suggest and that is to keep a diary. Make notes of what their activities/diet etc. are every day and the corresponding behaviour patterns. You may then be able to see a pattern yourself or, at the very least, it will be useful if and when you seek professional help. Good luck - I'm sure, as an obviously caring parent, you will look back one day and wonder what all the fuss was about.

Answer 5

I think he's both bored and in need of more attention, given that he's recently had two baby sisters brought into the world where he was the sole focus of attention. At 3 he's ready for full time pre-school, if you can afford it. I don't think play group 3 times a week is enough for a boy, he needs more external stimuli and more interaction with others his age, as compared to your little ones. My twins play very well together (though the bicker and fight too) but they found full time pre-school very enjoyable, they made a host of new friends, learned about all sorts of great things in the world. Now they are in their second year and can spell and count and draw, great stuff. Good luck

Answer 6

Does the vet know what is causing the sudden weight gain? It sounds like it could be a medical problem which could account for the suddenly aggressive behavior. She might be in pain or just cranky and less tolerant because she doesn't feel good. How bad was she physically and emotionally hurt by the recent dog fight? Also dogs reach their maturity at around 2-3 years old which makes their genetics kick in. Even with the best socialization a newly adult dog may decide to be less tolerant of other dogs. Dogs have different levels of dog/dog interactions. Some are dog friendly and can get along with everyone and others are dog selective or dog tolerant meaning they only get along with a select few other dogs, depending on their play style, age, sex, size, etc. As far as her snapping at the daughter I would question her motivation. Was it somehow out of fear, did she startle her or wake her up? Was she being possessive of some unseen toy or bone or her food? Again is she still in pain from the dog fight? I think your best bet is to contact an animal behaviorist at your local SPCA or Humane Society and get their opinion. You can have her evaluated for around $45 to see what your best plan of action is.

Answer 7

I actually just read an article in one of my Parents magazines about aggression in young children and the amount of television they watch. I'm not sure if you allow your son to watch T.V. or not but if so it might be contributing to the problem. The article says that children under 2 years old shouldn't watch any T.V. at all (even educational videos) and that children over 2 shouldn't watch any more than 1-2 hours a day (and that the less the better). They said that many children's parents are suspecting ADHD when diet (not enough omega-3 fatty acids - FISH) and lifestyle (not enough outdoor time and exercise, not enough time to use imagination and too much T.V. or video games) is actually causing behavioral issues. You might want to address all of these areas before resorting to anything more drastic (like putting a label on your kid or giving him meds).

Best wishes.

Answer 8

My one year old is doing the same things. My mom is my daycare, so I know he isn't seeing other children act out like that. His father is not in his life, but he has a secure family unit which includes many aunts and uncles. He night just be seeking a little extra attention. I suppose with the twins you are a bit occupied. I recently started a new job and my hours are a lot longer, and so my son is....well being a beast. I am sure some *** will answer....discipline him. I think he might just need some alone time with mommy and daddy.

Answer 9

Erm, hold on folks. The answer may be in the question. I am assuming your three year old was the centre of attention until the twins were born. Well, unfortunately, now he isn't! He thinks the twins are getting all his attention and doesn't know what to do. See if his behaviour changes when the twins are not with him for a length of time before assuming he has ADHD.

Answer 10

His anger is a symptom. You must find out what it is a symptom of. He can't put his thoughts to words so he is acting out his anger over either a situation or a physical feeling. Take him to his doctor, speak to him/her about it and ask that he be examined well. Make sure he hasn't been sexually or physically abused as this is a common reaction. Don't jump to drugs right away either, he could be having an allergic reaction to foods like wheat or corn syrup.

As a parent with access to the Internet, you can find out yourself whats wrong with your boy very easily with some time and effort with search engines.

Food allergies cause this behavior more often than doctors want to admit. Look into a gluten free diet or remove all sugars from his diet. Do these things one at a time and watch him closely.

Good Luck!

Answer 11

If he was 3 before 31st August then he could be getting 5 free sessions a week at nursery/ playgroup. He's probably ready for it and if he is already at nursery then discuss the problem with them. They probably have many suggestions on how to deal with his behaviour as I'm sure they've seen it all before,and if you work together with them then he will be getting a consistent message at nursery and at home. I tend to think it is a reaction to not being the baby anymore, especially with twins! you must be exhausted. Why not try putting the twins in nursery for a couple of hours and spending quality time just with him? see if his behaviour improves when he is the centre of attention, if so then you know what's troubling him.