mostly lovely answers, but I got slammed by a couple, one for "ruining my life" and another because since I can;t afford to put minutes on my phone card it means I am unfit to be a mother of three children.
I would happily classify myself as poor, but, My family has full bellies, a roof over their heads, and clothes that fit them. We are not getting welfare or food stamps or medical assistance. My children have love bursting out of their ears at every turn, but they don;t have the latest gadget or the newest doll that pisses her pants when you tug on her ear.
In my opinion, a child needs only what they NEED and occasionally what they want. Time and attention are more important than spending 600 dollars on toys and the latest clothes.
Am I alone in thinking this way or do other people feel this way to?
2006-10-23 09:12:48 · 23 answers · asked by ? 6 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
*standing ovation* I completely agree with you. I didn't have those things coming up as a kid and neither did my fiance. We both said that we wanted him to be able to have everything he NEEDED and would like to be able to get him what he wants, but then we realized that all these kids that get everything that they want from an early age arent just spoiled, snotty, and bratty. We don't want our son to be like that. He never ever goes without.
I would classify our finances as "poor" as well. We don't get any kind of assistance from the government either. We, meaning my fiance and I, have went a week without be able to eat lunch (at work) cause our son needed something. That's what you do. You put him first and as long as he is healthy and loved, you have a wonderful blessing.
2006-10-23 09:20:52 · answer #1 · answered by Barbi 4 · 5⤊ 2⤋
OK call me mean, but I can see the other side. Yes, I 100% agree that things do not matter - love, time and nuturing do. On the flip (and very realistic) side of that coin, raising children is expensive...very expensive and most adults want better lives for their children than they had. If paying for "minutes" on a phone is a hardship or difficulty for you, then why are you having more? I'm seriously not trying to be mean - I really don't understand families who have more and more kids but can't pay their bills.
You seem to go to extremes in your note above - minutes versus $600 in toys or latest clothes...sounds confusing.
I think you are broaching 2 different topis here. One is what's important in bringing up children and the other is when does your pocketbook tell you that you don't need to continue to have more children to validate yourself. Apologies (most sincerely) if I've offended anyone.
2006-10-23 09:58:20 · answer #2 · answered by Allison S 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I absolutely love this question. I agree completely. My daughter has everything she needs and a few things she wants. I was also raised this way.
I provide a good home full of love and laughter with out financial assistance from her father or the government. I buy a couple of toys for her birthday and for Christmas. Most of her clothes are hand-me-downs from my niece and the girl across the street but they are clean, pretty and warm( cool in the summer :0).
She may not have all the "cool" things her friends have, but she knows she is loved. She will grow up knowing it is not what you have but who you are that is important. Kids don't need a closet full of designer clothes and so many toys they can't figure out what they have to play with to feel loved. Kids need to be healthy and loved. Ten minutes on mom or dads lap with a book is worth more than the latest Bratz doll any day. IF you don't believe me,ask your kids.
2006-10-23 09:24:36 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 2⤋
I am so very sorry that anyone on this site slammed you!
You sound like you are doing a wonderful job. Keep up the good work!
Children do best if they feel they are loved!
I agree with you , they need time, attention and love. Money can NOT buy a child a life time worth of memories a loving parent can give them.
2006-10-23 09:21:47 · answer #4 · answered by Debbie M 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Absolutely! Too many parents equate what they buy their children with how well a child is loved and cared for.
Most kids just need food, clothes and unconditional love. I was soooo poor when my son was little and he grew up happy and is now a respectful hard-working young man.
Some of my better off friends bought their kids love and now they never see their children and the kids do nothing but bad mouth their parents.
You are on the right track, don't let a couple materialistic a*holes get under your skin
2006-10-23 09:18:46 · answer #5 · answered by Gem 7 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I would just like to say thank you. I totally understand where you are coming from. We never look at our children and say you don't deserve to have the best things money can by. We choose to give our children what they need and teach them that nothing is free. I work hard for my money and I don't get much. What money I do get is spent on my children. Putting a roof over there heads, or food on the table, and electricity so they can be warm in the winter and cool in the summer. Clothes on their backs. Those are the necessities. And they may get to pick out a toy at Wal-Mart or the Dollar Store. But I am not going to give my child everything he asks for so that later in life he can think hey this life thing is easy. all I have to do is say MOMMY I WANT THAT and it is mine. I refuse to have a spoiled Brat for a kid.
2006-10-23 10:18:28 · answer #6 · answered by Danielle W 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
You are right that needs well outway wants, but being fiscally responsible is important too. Why live on the edge of total poverty?
There is no reason for your mother to not call you back, but she does not agree with your decisions. That does not make her actions right, but everyone has their limits.
Perhaps you should think about why you are so busy having children, when it is only going to get harder to feed them as they get older. Teenagers eat a lot and children always outgrow clothes.
Just be smart about how many children you choose to have. It is not necessary for any one person to populate the Earth.
Take care,
Troy
2006-10-23 09:25:36 · answer #7 · answered by tiuliucci 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Your mom in basic terms needs what's nice for you - and he or she possibly would not decide for to finally end up raising your toddler. think of frustrating approximately what you're committing to. toddlers become toddlers and youths. they're very high priced and could take all it slow. they arrive first - you and your existence 2d. Any mom will inform you that it is in basic terms the way it is. What in case your boyfriend comes to a decision to no longer stay a factor of this? i think you need to do what's acceptable for you, yet evaluate the type you are going to try this. you're nevertheless in basic terms 2 an prolonged time previous. Are you prepared to return final for the subsequent 21 years? What in case your boyfriend desperate that he wasn't going to pay you something ever for help and dropped out of your existence. (definite, issues like that take place universal). ought to you have the money for the coverage, diapers, daycare, formula, outfits, drugs, transportation, sturdy ecosystem, and so on. with the help of your self? Many many females have been via what you're dealing with. it is possibly certainly one of th toughest judgements you will could desire to make - make it properly with fairly some attention. with the help of ways, I even have 3 teenage daughters myself and that i had 2 abortions while i replaced into 20 and 24. solid luck with in spite of you establish.
2016-10-02 21:15:49 · answer #8 · answered by lavinia 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
AMEN! My child's clothing comes from K-Mart and Walmart, his shoes from Payless and he is so happy with a small matchbox car or paper and markers. Kids are being taught that the bigger the better. I wasn't raised that way and I turned out just fine. Again, I am not on any assistance, but would be classified as poor but we are happy! As long as there is love in a house, nothing else matters.
2006-10-23 09:17:54 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 2⤋
Bah, children do not ruin your life. They actually make us better people. I whole heartedly agree with you! Time, attention, love, full bellies, warm clothes, roof over their heads, and a great mommy is the main needs of a child!
2006-10-23 09:18:21 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 1⤋