he will pee in the potty and toilet just fine but he says he is "scared" of the potty. He wears underwear all day and only wears a pull up to bed. But when he has to poop, he will frantically search for a place to hide and he gets a pull up and puts them on and poops in them. but he will wait untill one of us is busy and then he does it. We have litterally tried EVERYTHING and nothing seems to be working. we tried taking the pullups away all together that he just got so constipated we had to go to the doctor. Im litterally at my wits end with this one.
2006-10-23 09:01:03 · 13 answers · asked by Jennifer F 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
Just to clear things up, No molestation heather, are you sick???
And no traumas either. He's stubborn and we cant get him to stop, Please, only serious anwers
2006-10-23 09:07:19 · update #1
We had the same problem with our son. I discovered that he was scared to go on the toilet because he had a painful bowel movement and he associated that with the toilet. On the advice of my Dr., I purchased a tea called "Smooth Move Tea" at a local health food store. I would make some up ( diluting it, using 3 cups of water to one teabag) and keep it in a pitcher in the fridge. I would add a few tablespoons in with his juice and he never noticed it. It is basically a natural laxative/stimulant that should create pretty quick results. The first few times we didn't make it to the bathroom but then I started to watch for signs (wiggling, pacing, etc...) and I would bring him into the bathroom. The first few times were scary for him but once he realized that it wasn't painful we have never had a problem since. I used to have to sit in there with him and reassure him that it was OK and now he just runs in and goes on his own. I understand your frusteration, believe me, I do! Good Luck!!
2006-10-24 04:31:35 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Getting him on a schedule helps. He must also be very comfortable sitting on the toilet so I second the other recommendations on getting something different than you have now. I know of a case where a child was put on exlax (by doctor) at the same time every day so 6-8 hrs later they would go. This way you know when the urges will be coming and you can be with him at that time to usher him to the toilet. I wouldn't start him on exlax without talking to a doctor, but if he was getting impacted I guess you already have.
You are up against a deadline since they won't allow him in Kindergarten unless he is fully potty trained. I guess that is next September, so you really do not have much time.
Also do not think that ignoring it will make it go away. It is surprising how many kids are not potty trained at 7 years old! Just saw one on Nanny 911 or Super Nanny a few months ago. If you can't turn it around quickly get expert advice, not lay folks like me on Yahoo.
2006-10-23 09:21:18 · answer #2 · answered by fwiiw 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You don't mention how long he's been being potty-trained or how long he's been successfully going pee in the potty... but from the sounds of it he's behaving rather normally for a child in the process on getting the hang of things.
I once read somewhere that children take, on average, much longer (usually around 6+ months) to successfully go poop in the potty... even when they are regularly going pee in the potty. From what I understand the sensations are different and it's much more difficult to bear down on the potty when having a bowel movement initially and they have grown accustomed to squatting, etc. The hiding thing is normal too.
My niece has been being potty trained for a couple months now and STILL goes into her room (after insisting that she does NOT have to go poop) and then hides and goes... and WORSE... ends up taking off her training pants and gets poop everywhere! What a pain! BUT she is trying and while it's easy to get frustrated and upset... it only makes it worse. They will only be more reluctant to go and it will end up making it a scary and nerve-racking thing for them.
I found a great article on this very issue for you (link below)... hope it helps!
http://pediatrics.about.com/od/weeklyquestion/a/04_potty_bms.htm
Hang in there! Soon enough this will all be a distant memory.
2006-10-23 09:15:49 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hahaha! My younger brother had a similar problem when he was a kid because I traumatized him and told him that he was pooping out his insides every time that he pooped (we had some serious sibling rivalry going on, so we were terrible to each other). As a result, he would only poop once a week when he couldn't hold it in anymore.
My advice is to ask him why he is afraid to poop and then explain to him why he shouldn't be. Also, tell him how proud mommy and daddy would be if he pooped in the toilet. Hope that this helps.
2006-10-23 09:10:42 · answer #4 · answered by Alter Ego 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My son (age 3) is also very stubborn and defiant and refuses to poop in the toilet. His counselor suggested that I quit cleaning him up when he poops in his pants. Instead, I make him clean himself up. It is a mess, and I have to take his hand and make him clean himself, but he seems to be getting the message. He has begun using the toilet every once in a while so that he won't have to clean his stinky pants. He still isn't potty trained yet, so I don't know if this will be successful, but it is working better than anything else we have tried.
2006-10-23 09:27:02 · answer #5 · answered by Faith 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This might not be the case with your son, But my son when he was about 5 was doing the same thing, He was fully potty trained, Yet would still have 'Number 2' accidents in his underwear, He was in kindergarten and it was VERY embarrassing for him, He wouldn't tell anyone he'd done it 'cause he was so embarrassed, But you could smell it...anyway, I finally took him to the doctor, and the reason why he was doing it was 'cause, He was so backed up, The poo was basically escaping him, and he REALLY didn't mean to do it, She gave him a script for Miralax (A stool softener) and he takes Metamucil, And is now 8 and no longer has any 'accidents'.....It couldn't hurt to take him and get him checked out. *shrug*
Best of luck! :-)
2006-10-24 04:30:52 · answer #6 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the key is that YOU don't ''train'' him - he trains himself, and nothing anyone can do will force him to do what his body is not ready for. Four is not that old. Trust in his body's ability to decide for itself.
Another thing, if you started too young, this can have a affect on a child. Kind of a learned fear of this big thing with a hole in it and that he could fall and get sucked down the hole. This fear is real and must be respected. My son had this same fear. But one day, he just started to go in the it. We had many times where he was very constipated from holding it in.
Give him time...he will get there.
2006-10-23 09:26:40 · answer #7 · answered by Twisted Maggie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try a reward system. Explain to him that if he poops in the potty he will get _______(fill in the blanks). But if he poops in his pants he will have to go to bed early or take away his favorite toy, etc. Positive reinforcement will help in this case.
2006-10-23 09:05:19 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He might have "almost" fallen in once when he was being trained. Get a padded seat and try that. It is smaller in the center and actually feels good to sit on......This might be just what he needs, along with you putting him on the seat while reading to him even when he doesn't need to go "poop'" as you say. Get him used to just sitting there. He'll adapt soon.......
2006-10-23 09:05:17 · answer #9 · answered by TMAC 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Someone took him out of diapers before he was fully potty trained. Someone tried to potty train him before he was ready...
2006-10-23 19:33:38 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋