I need some MAJOR help! My boyfriend (let's call him Leo, no jokes please!) and I have been going out....?

Question

He's awesome, you know. He treats me SOO much nicer than me previous boyfriends. He's really sweet, generous, and SMART!!!!!! I really like him, but there's one problem. He's always hanging around with his friends. I can talk to him when he's around his friends, but not so much as when we're just alone and all (which is hardly ever). I wish I COULD talk more to him around his friends, but i don't want to look stupid in front of his pals. Yeah, I do know his friends, but not sooo much that I can talk to them the way i talk to him. Is that normal? I mean, I'm usually very shy around guys, and he's also shy around me. It seems like when he's with his friends, I shouldn't talk to him, because he will want to be with them more than with me. I can't find a way to talk to him about this, unfortunately. Is there anyone out there who can give me some advice? Please, I want serious answers ONLY!!!!!!!!! Oh, and you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it at all. Thanks for reading, ya'll!!

Answer 1

I charge a Small fee for my services Doctor Roz at your service.
I think it's time for both of you to take a little trip together away from his friends. Spend some valuable time together to really seek out the best part of each other that has vitality to conquer the world

Answer 2

Ok first of all - YES, this is normal, so don't worry about that! It's natural to feel shy around people you don't know very well, but try not to let it worry you so much. I know that's easy for me to say, but we've all been there.

Try not to spend too much time wondering what these people think about you, because the main thing is this: your boyfriend obviously likes you enough to take you to see his friends, and that's the most important thing. If he thought you were going to look stupid in front of them then he wouldn't take you, would he?

If you're too nervous about telling him how you feel, would you write him an e-mail? Sometimes it's easier when you don't have to say things face to face! You don't need to go into huge detail if you're worried about scaring him off, you could just ask something like "do you think i'm making a good impression on your friends?" or "do you think I come across as too shy in front of your friends because I want to get on with them". It sounds obvious, but your boyfriend isn't going to know that there's a problem unless you tell him.

Another good thing might be to get him to talk about the friends when the two of you are alone together. The more you hear their names and the more you know about them, the more comfortable you're going to feel around them - it will also give you things to talk to them about if you know what's going on in their lives.

Also, have you tried getting him to spend time with you and your friends? Maybe if he's shy around them then it will make him think about how you're feeling with his friends.

I hope I'm not just writing rubbish here and that some of this makes sense! Good luck with it, and remember that the more you worry about it the bigger the problem will seem.

Answer 3

Well he sounds very inmature, Only young guys act like that around their friends. If he wants to be with his friends why are u around? Yah need time for just each other. Tell him how you feel when u guys talk on the phone, I guess thats the only time u guys have, that its private just for the both of you's. If he can't have time to just spend with his girlfriend at least once a wk, then he is not the man for you. Trust me im talking by experience.

Answer 4

I would suggest that you ask him if you two could start getting 1 night a week or every other week to hang out, just the two of you. If he doesn't seem to budge and make an effort so he can spend time with just you then I would wouldn't want to move further w/ the relationship. It is great that you are invited out with him and his buddies but remember, the two of you need time alone, but he and his friends also need some time alone. (you can hang w/ your friends more)
So I would just suggest to him that you would like some one on one time and see how that goes first.
Good Luck!!!

Answer 5

If you want anyone to ascribe to the 'If you don't have anything nice to say...' philosophy, you should be writing to Dear Abby or whatever local equivalent you have, not posting to a vast multitude of snarling, raving internet surfers. Yes, that means all of YOU and ME. Stop beating around the bush, honey, and tell him you need 'alone' time to connect with him. If he can't handle that, then you're on a higher plane of maturity than he is, and most likely are going to be for another 20 years. It's up to you where to go from there.

Answer 6

What you are going through is normal. The same thing has been shown in movies forever. Just watch that old movie Grease with John Travolta and see how he is when he's alone with "Sandy" and then when his boys are around.

Don't sweat it. Let him hang with his boys when he wants to, and you go hang with your girls. Talk with him and tell him you'd like to spend some "alone" time with him when it could be just the two of you.

Tell him, you don't want him to change in any way, but that you want him to know you really like the way he acts toward you when it's just the two of you.

Good luck.

Answer 7

This is completely normal. My boyfriend is the same way. They need that freind time. They actually change personalities around their buds. They act cool and macho. But you need to respect that. If you hang out with him and his friends, just go along with the flow and carry on a conversation with everyone. Don't expect him to be "lovey-dovey"

Answer 8

ok great guy....got it. but time spent? minimal....so how great is he if u cant see him barely and if u cant be u around him? flat out if u cant get ur time with him u'll obviously be pushed away slowly and the relationship could deff never grow. just tell him ur dating him not his friends, u dont want to always be around them together. and if u are bring some of ur girl pals his friends might like ( or not, its up to u, as long as u are comfortable ) but i would talk to him if u can. just tell him u want to spend more one on one time with him, not time with all his buddies....ur not his buddy, ur his girlfriend. theres a big difference. and if u cant tell him then ur relationship really is hopeless. goodluck and best wishes hun.

Answer 9

Sounds like you have some friend envy.

Guys will have buddies around forever, so give up trying to monopolize on his time. From a guy's point of view, a gf who goes out of her way to do somthing for her man in front of his friends is a great gf and makes us like you more. If you can't talk then serve and do "wifey" things so his friends can see what a lucky man he is. They will compliment him and appreciate you and welcome you into conversations with them.

I do this if I'm out with a girl's friends, I go totally out of my way to please my lady, get her nice stuff, run obstacle courses just so she can get a very rare specific coffee and silly crap like that. Her freinds just look in amazement and ask if I have freinds like me.

Answer 10

Hey i understand what your talking about the same thing happened to me. What i did was called him up and told him that we should be spending quality time togather. Away from his friends. I was not uncomfortable around them but it did bother me. If i were you i would tell him that your not comfortable around his friends and that y'all need to have alone time just you and him. I really hope this helps.