I have been going out with him for 3 months. It has been intensed. We talk almost everyday and spent the night over each other place when we can. Also all those dating stuff. He was sick for a couple of weeks and I was by his side. He called me 10 times in one day whining when he was sick!!, even went to doctor with him. His birthday was last week and he got depressed (mid life crisis) and wanted to spend alone. I spent next day with him. We supposed to meet this weekend( I haven't seen him for a week). He called, left message to cancel. said that he is not in a mood for anything and will turn off his phone. I called several times since I was worried. He finally called back and said he was unhappy usually around this time ( his BD) and it wasn't my fault and tell me to stop calling him. he will call me back later- but he hasn't called yet.
What should I do and how long should I be patient? he was the one who picked the weekend.
2006-10-23 08:37:15 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Dump him
2006-10-23 08:39:04 · answer #1 · answered by Tatiana 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Stop being patient...although you can still be kind. This guy is probably putting other plans together, although he might love it if you continue to be a 'back up plan'. He seems inconsiderate and self-focused and if that is the case, he's not likely to change. Mid-life crisis my ***. Since you asked....I'd consider this relationship to be over. You can always express the desire to 'be friends' when he does call again. Otherwise, value yourself, focus on what you want, and stop being available whenever it's convenient for him. I suggest you NOT CALL him to express yourself though--if he's a 'player' that will only amuse him and why let him make sport of you. He owes you a big apology and since you didn't say flowers were delivered....lose that loser. Good luck
2006-10-23 08:43:57 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
give him the space he needs....for now.
leave him a message saying you'll be there when he's ready to talk. and just leave him be. as much as you want to call: DON'T. you gotta respect what he wants. plus it sounds like y'all are cool and he'll come around....
but if a week or more goes by and he doesn't call, put him on the back burner. he's doing him and you gotta do you. if you're not getting what you want after trying so hard to be there for him, he's gotta go. that's it and that's all. maybe there will be a space for him in your life later but right now, if you're giving all you can and not getting the return you want on your investment, then he's gotta go.
there comes a point where you gotta ask, "why am i making him a priority when he's making me an option?"
2006-10-23 08:46:24 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
In my opnion, this guy has some issues. i mean its one thing to be patient while someone goes through some stuff, but hes just acting wierd. you might want to think about this relationship. i mean why is he gettig so depressed over his b day that its lasting this long? and then tells you not to call? and flakes out? it seems like theres something more to this than you see. you can be patient and wait to takl to him, but i would express concern about his distance from you over this past week or so. tell him that you are concerned about him distancing himself when youve been so close. make sure you dont confront him or talk to him in a way where he feels attacked or blamed. that way, if he gets defensive, its a sign hes hiding something. rememer, you havent known this guy very long, so theres alot about him you dont know. this may end up being an opportunity to help him work through some personal stuff and get closer. just be careful!
2006-10-23 08:43:53 · answer #4 · answered by faiths13 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you should do something about it. Get away from him as fast as you can. I have been in this situation from the other side and it's just a waste of time. Unless you like the day to day drama, get out and leave him to his self pity.
2006-10-23 08:44:52 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't call him, it sounds as if he has someone else, as hard as it is to understand after you were so good to him when he was sick, but in relationships there is no guarantees that a person will treat us as we treat them.don't sit around waiting, as you could just be setting yourself up for hurt.sounds as if he is quite needy and whiney, and not capable of giving you the relationship you deserve in life.
2006-10-23 09:03:05 · answer #6 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he's got issues of his own to handle. Try letting him be for a bit. it seems that at first he was hangin on you a whole bunch now he just wants to deal with things on his own. Maybe he just doesn't feel manly. humm...men are complicated. ok here's the real advice, if you think he's worth it, wait for him and give him what he needs. if he's not than give up on him. it's all up to you. go with what your heart tells you.
2006-10-23 08:42:24 · answer #7 · answered by Jessica 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You say mid-life crisis. How old is he and how old are you? You sound like a very honest, kind, respectful woman and you need so one in your life who will love you for youn. And is willing to accept you.
2006-10-23 08:45:05 · answer #8 · answered by angle2005star 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whatever the reason for his behavior, it sounds like this is a regular thing for him (his own words).
So if it really bugs you, get out.
If it's worth putting up with, wait it out, but don't expect him to change.
2006-10-23 08:45:55 · answer #9 · answered by dork 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He sounds a bit unstable. I'd cut it off now before it gets any worse. Just my 2 cents though.
2006-10-23 08:39:38 · answer #10 · answered by arbolito 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let him come to you. The ball is in his court now and the decision to "do" anything is up to him. If he doesn't call, then my guess would be that he's seeing someone else.
2006-10-23 08:40:37 · answer #11 · answered by IndianGirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋