Can my 10 yr old have a small glass of wine if I take her to a restaurant?

Question

I want to introduce her to alcohol in a sensible and mature way. Other kids do it in secret and don't really know the consequences of drinking cheap cider and alco-pops. If I educate her then, hopefully she'll realise that it's not such a thrill after all!

I live in UK. I would like to think that I drink sensibly. I love a glass or two of a nice wine and want my daughter to enjoy it - not jus to get pissed to impress her mates! All you do-gooders need to get a life!

Thanks for all the sensible answers!

Answer 1

There is a vast assortment of answers already given so here goes: The present law is the Licensing Act 2003 which came into effect last year. That new law substantially altered the earlier Licensing Act 1964. Under the OLD law it was possible for a 16 / 17 yr old to themselves buy beer, porter, cider or perry for consumption with a meal without the need for an adult to be present, it was also legal for an adult to buy any alcohol, inc. spirits in a restaurant, with a meal, for a 5 year old. That has ALL GONE. The present law makes it illegal to directly sell or permit consumption of any alcohol to under 18's - penalty £5000 max, and for under 18's to buy or attempt to buy or consume any alcohol - penalty £1,000 max. The ONLY limited circumstances now are when an adult ( over 18 ) buys, that is the adult buys, beer, cider or wine to be consumed by a 16 or 17 yr old person AND the 16 or 17 yr old is consuming a proper meal AND the adult stays during that consumption to supervise the 16 or 17yr old. Incidental you can not give ANY alcohol to a person under 5 even in your own home unless it is for medical reasons and or on doctors orders. If the 'designated premises supervisor' ( in lay mans term almost like the old term of a licensee ) is found guilty of breaking these very strict rules they will very likely also lose their 'personal licence ' and therefore be disqualified for FIVE years before even being eligible to try and obtain a new one. In effect they risk being unemployable in the licensing trade.

Answer 2

I think it's probably better to introduce it to her in the home, and probably wait until she's about 13 or so. Ten is a bit young. Plus, if you're in a public area you'll have to think about the restaurant's rules as well as (and I know this sounds prudish) the feelings/opinions of the other patrons. There's nothing wrong with alcohol education, but perhaps ten is a bit early to really get it? Personally, I grew up around alcohol and alcoholics. I don't drink myself because I've seen first hand what it does to people. Maybe when she's a teenager you could volunteer at a rehab centre as well, so that she can see all sides of the equation. Al-Anon and other related places might be good too.

Not trying to scare or be a doom-sayer, but I think it's all too easy to think by letting her try it around you it'll automatically mean it's no big deal when her "cool" friends are doing it. Sometimes it's good to see the really bad stuff along with the "it's ok to have A drink at a social occasion" stuff.

Well, good luck whatever you choose. I suppose you'll only know the effects in the long run.

Answer 3

I mostly just want to apologise on behalf of the "I just wish I knew where you live and who you are. I'd call the police in a heartbeat"-style answers. #$*@ Americans!

But I also concur with the person who pointed out that you'd unfairly be putting the restaurant in an unpleasant position. I'd offer a 'tasting' from the adults' glasses, and leave the own-glass thing to dinner at home. Part of teaching responsible drinking should include obvious consideration for the people serving it. There's probably an exception here, though, if you're a well-liked regular at a liberal-minded restaurant, especially since I doubt she'd even be bothered to finish much of the glass.

My family was fairly sensible and honest about booze and I appreciated that; you have my approval, for what it's worth. "Call the police!" Good grief...

Answer 4

My parents let me try their wine and beer when I was little, and I thought it was horrible, and therefore was never tempted to drink until I was 18. I think what you're trying to do is a good idea: but I think you should let her share your glass rather than giving her her own, unless (perhaps when a few years older) she asks to have some, in which case you should say yes but maybe try the half wine, half water thing that other people were talking about before letting her drink a full glass of wine. As for drinking in the restaurant, let her sip yours if she wants to rather than giving her her own glass, that way there shouldn't be problems about her actually being served alcohol. And when she gets older and does actually want to drink, let her drink wine with you at meals and then she won't be tempted to binge drink on hidden bottles of vodka and try and hide it from you. Make it seem an okay thing to do (as you already are) and it will lose its glamour and mystery, and therefore some of its danger.

I think you are being a very responsible and reasonable parent, and that others who have made insulting comments should feel ashamed at their immature and unhelpful behaviour. Good luck with your daughter, hope my advice has been helpful!

Answer 5

In all honesty it is illegal in a restaurant. They have laws to follow. How about introducing it to her at home instead? That's what my parents did to me at the age of 6. Booze wasn't such a mysterious and sneaky thing then when I got to be a teen. Learning to appreciate wine around the safety of family is a LOT better than getting smashed at a party and driving or passing out. As long as they're tiny glasses, you're doing it the right way!

Answer 6

In Scotland, apparently, it is an offence to give children under five alcholol but as your daugher is 10 then you should be okay - but only in your own home.

She has to be 16 to drink with a meal in a restaurant.

Obviously, you're well aware that you shouldn't be giving her too much alcohol, instead just a taste. Which I suppose makes it very difficult to let her see the really bad side of drinking as you don't want to give her so much that she gets sick as this may have damaging effects on her overall health as she is still growing. Which also, I suppose, means that she won't drink enough to actually get a hangover.

Good luck anyway.

Answer 7

Strictly speaking her liver is not mature enough to handle alcohol. And legally, I dont think the restaurant manager can knowingly serve her alcohol as he would risk losing his licence. But I see the point you are trying to make, the same way that the French do, who bring up their kids to respect alcohol by introducing it early so that its no big deal. I would like to do the same with my kids i.e. if they grow up with it, then it wont be such a big deal and big dare to try and abuse behind my back. Unfortunately peer pressure and our culture accounts for alot of it. I wish we were more like the French in that respect.

Answer 8

No, the licensing laws mean that it would be breaking the law for the owner/licensee to allow her to consume alcohol on their premises. The laws in the UK are that over the age of 4 you can give her alcohol in your own home, but anywhere else you have to be 18.
While I understand your reasons, it would be unfair on the licensee to have him or her lose their business and be prosecuted as a result, so if you want to show her the mature approach to alcohol, do so at home.

Answer 9

you r not allowed by law to give a child under 5 alcohol unless a doctor says so.a person who is 14 or over can consume alcohol in a pub or restaurant so long as it is with a meal.which dont mean a packet of crisps.I think you are being responsible and given a glass by you in a restaurant with a meal is not committing an offence nor will anyone take much notice

Answer 10

That is not legal in the UK. If you want to educate her why not take the stance of a small, half glass at home with Sunday lunch. At 10 she'll probably hate the taste anyway.