How do you tell a friend that they are always negative without hurting them?

Question

I have a friend that is always so negative and thinks everyone is "out to get" her. I want to tell her that she comes across defensive and opinionated. My other friends will not hang out with me if she is there. I do like her, I just don't know how to confront her.

Answer 1

She sounds depressed try this question in the mental health genre.

Answer 2

Read some psychology stuff and put in in a way that she cant understand then break it down to her. For example my boyfriend had major issues when he came back from the war! So I read up and found out what it is that it seemed he had. I told him he had posttramatic stress disorder and he was like what! and then I broke it down now he tries to control certain things I say he does because of it cause he doesnt want people to think he has a disorder hahahaha. Just make her see that its a problem and she needs to fix, but negative people exude more negative energy then positive people do with positive energy ehich can bring you down even on a good day. So she needs to change or you need a new friend.

Answer 3

I have a friend that is the same way but we've
been friends for years. It just depends on how
good of friends you are. If she is a good and true friend then you should be able to tell her without her getting offended then again if you can deal with it then just have understanding cuz there may be a reason that she is the way she is. If you can get her to realize that there is a problem there by showing concern and wanting to help then go for it but if she's not worth the time and energy then cut her off it could end up being potentially stressful friendship

Answer 4

Did you hear the one about the Pessimist and Optimist locked in separate rooms ????
The Pessimist had everything anyone could want toys TV etc
the Optimist had a room of manure.
When the scientist came around to check on them, they first went to the pessimist room only to find em sitting in the corner, perplex they asked em is anything the matter??
NNNooo? said the pessimist, "Well you have everything anyone could want?" Why don't you ride the bike? "I might fall off and hurt myself," said the the pessimist, "How about Playing cards?" I might lose, said the Pessimist, shaking their head leaving to go to the next room thinking the same thing will be there too.
As they opened the door looking in and barley missing a huge glob of manure that was flying in every direction, making there way to their subject bent over digging and flaying every handful he got, they finally stopped him to ask, What he was Dooing??
The wide EYED Optimist looked and said "With all this S'H' I' T THERE'S GOT TO BE A PONY SOME WHERE!!!!""""

Answer 5

There is no nice, feelings-are-spared way of telling someone their disposition is about as sunny as an outhouse. Be honest with her; in the long run it's the nicer, more honorable thing to do, because it forces a hard introspective look at herself that she's obviously dodging. She might be depressed, but some people are cynical and annoyingly 'down' solely for attention. When she learns that it's not garnering sympathy and compassion but rather tolerance-stretched-thin and annoyance, she might, just might cut that **** out.

Answer 6

Okay, you have to be strong so that if she gets mad when you say this, it won't get you down for too long.

When she says something opinionated/offensive, say to her privately, (for example), "[her name], when I hear you say that all Republicans are as88oles, I feel a sick feeling inside. When some people hear remarks like that, it makes them want to avoid the person who says them." You're not calling her a jerk, you're taking responsibility for giving her info on how her behavior affects you. You have to be specific on both her behavior and what you feel.

Or, "[her name], since we've been talking this afternoon, you've said school sucks, you hate your brother, and your job is stupid. You have every right to your feelings, but when you say negative things so often, I feel uncomfortable with the mood that creates, and I think that's a turn-off to other people wanting to hang out with us."

Someone so negative acts that way in part because they are insecure or don't like themselves, and they are not going to get over acting that way overnight. But good luck.

Remember to be specific about her behavior that's bothersome and about how it makes you feel. Don't overdo saying how others feel, but do say that her negativity may make people avoid her. And don't slip into putdowns, easy as that could be. You want to name your feeling, but not, for example, saying something like "When you keep saying people are out to get you, I feel like you're nuts." Don't use the feeling part as an excuse to insult; describe the difficult feelings her behavior causes.

Try "when you say people are always out to get you, I feel frustrated, because I'm not so sure that's true. Can you tell me why it seems that way to you?"

Answer 7

Tell her flat out that she needs to look on the bright side. ASK her why she always acts that way, have you ever thought someone has treated her so badly that she doesn't know how to look on the bright side? If she is your friend, she will listen to your opinions and thoughts.

Answer 8

i have a similar friend and other people thinks she has a attitude problem but once you understand her she is nice , tell her to be more open to relationships , i know that is easier said than done but be honest that is the only way , or show her this q & a

Answer 9

If you really are her friend you would tell her straight, because of her negative attitude she is pushing everyone away. Just tell her what you feel!

Answer 10

I am sure she already knows that. Sounds like she lost a parent at a young age. She needs to learn to express herself in a constructive way.