If your teenage son rather live with his father instead of you the mother, should you let him?

Question

How would you feel if this did happen and found out the father was spoiling him and not making him go to school?

Answer 1

I would let him go. He obviously does not want to be around you. From what I've read from your other questions, you are not winning the world's greatest mother award.

Answer 2

First of all as a mother of a 14 year old son, I would never had let my son live with his father. Weekends are just perfect for his age. When he turns 18 is up to him to decide if he wants to stay with me or his father. As far as your case if I found out he was not making him go to school, I would talk to the father and try to get an agreement about not being able to take charge of your son. If actions continued the same I would go to court and demand my son be handed to me for full custody. He is only a teenager why in the world would that father not realize the damage he is doing to that kid????????

Answer 3

Well if he's not making him go to school then he doesn't seem like a very responsible father. Don't fight with your son about it, though, as it might trigger some resentment towards you. Talk it over with his dad. Make sure that he will do his part as a father and have your son go to school. Let him know that nothing good comes out of spoiling children and not having them go to school. Explain to him that it is in the best interest of your son and even though he might not want to now, it will help him in the long run. If his father does agree then maybe all 3 of you should sit down and talk it over... let your son try it and see if he still feels "the grass is greener...". If the father will not cooperate then your son should stay with you and continue his studies. Anyways, good luck to you... I know it's sad but think of the best for your child! It's always hard when the parents are split up... could you imagine having to "pick" one of your parents? Have a great day! You're doing a great job of trying to get your son in the best situation! =D

Answer 4

If your son is under 18 years old and has not graduated from high school or gotten his GED, then he is truant and that is breaking the law. Your son and his father can get into trouble and even put in jail if he does not attend school.
I would get the attendance records from the school. If you can make a positive link between your son's absences from school and the time he spends with his day, you can take legal action against his father.
Also, most school districts require the parents to petition for class credits after so many absences. If this is a pattern, did his father sign those forms??? Is your son behind in school???
This sounds like a job for family courts. Maybe your son should have a guardian ad lidum so that way the judge can directly address your son's issues with school.

Answer 5

I know being he is a teenager it is harder to deal with him than a younger child. It sounds like his reason for wanting to live with his father has more to do with being spoiled by him, and not having to go to school. I know you will probably have a hard time with him. But unless you can convince his father that he has to go to school. And to stop spoiling him. It is better that he lives with the mother. You may also want to remind the father that attending school is a law, unless he has a very good reason for his absences like illness. The school will start to investigate his attendance record. You might also bring up the subject that it is very hard if not impossible for anyone to get a job with out a High School diploma. Even with just a high school diploma he could end up in a dead end minimum wage job.
If his father can be logical and is willing to make some changes. Then you may want to think about letting him live with his father.
Good Luck

Answer 6

I worry that this will happen one day with me. My son is eight right now. His father makes a good friend. He spoils him, feeds him whenever it suits him sometimes as late as 8:00, normally around 7:30. My son always has dinner with me and the grandparents at 5:30 or 6:00.

Anyhow back to you. The father should make the son go to school that is part of being a Dad. Not sending your child to school is negelence and is against the law. Our duty as parents is to give the child a place to live, food, clothes and education, proper living conditions, and a clean stable enviroment, oh and persona hygiene.

I would be extremely upset and would put my foot down with any means that I had to. Education is your son's future, without it he will never be a responsible adult.

Good luck to you

Answer 7

My two children from a previous marriage live with their father. It was a joint decision after I lost my job and was going to move to a different state. They have both since come back home to live with me, but they both ended up going back to their fathers house. Although my ex doesn't necessarily spoil them to death...he does so more than I think is appropriate...If this is the reason that he wants to go and live at his dad's house, I would say no you shouldn't let him. My ex and I still make decisions that involve the kids if it's major. You both need to be on the same page and make it clear to the children that you two are going to work together as parents even though you are divorced...you didn't divorce them...just each other!

Answer 8

If he wanted to live with his dad because he was not made to attend school... Absolutley not!!!!
My 16 year old son recently requested to move in with his father... because... his stepmother home schools her child and my son has always had a hard time fitting "in". He has always been a little backwards and shy. I didn't hesitate at all, provided his grades remain positive and he test every year at a public school. Then I have no issue with the fact that he lives with his dad. We both want what is in the best intrest of our son. However, a father who doesn't want or care if his child to has an education!!!!! There is no way in the world that I would consent to him living there!
Just keep this in mind... I don't know what state you live in but in my state at the age of 13 a child has the legal say so to live with the biological parent of his/her choice period.....
If your ex wanted to, he could take you to court and get custody of the child just on the wishes of the child. However, normally a judge will appoint a Gardian at Litem to review the situation first and get the concerns of both parents before a decision is made. But I gotta tell you...... in most cases the childs wishes are usually granted. You do have some recourse. After the fist year with the new custodial parent you can review the childs progress and if it is not satisfactory you can have the order reversed. It is just very time consuming , expensive and stressful.
My advise to you.... pick your battles carefully and good luck.

Answer 9

LET HIM- under the condition he goes to school, if he fails to do so, he moves back in. Put your foot down. This is a very important time for a teen to spend with his father. There might be more to it. I know you don't think so, but being spoiled gets old. I'm sure eventually he will come home. Just let him know he is always welcome. No one said being a parent is easy. Best of Luck!!!

Answer 10

If he wants to live wiht his father and is over 13 he may have the right to do so if the father has nothing against him prohinbiting it.
When a kid doesn't want to live with yuo he/she can make it unbearable for you some times.
But as his custodian I would set the law down to him and the father, and demand he straighten his act up. He probly would be better of fwith you as usually fahters are more laxed on school.
It's a personal problem you will have consider from all respects as t o what is best for the child.

Answer 11

i would let my son choose if he were old enough to do so. As for dad spoiling him you have NO SAY in that. In fact you should think of the kids who's dads leave and never even send a birthday card. As for school you can contact the school if he misses to much school dad can be charged even jailed. Let the school talk to dad about attendence. I think your angry he chose dad there is no place for this peeing contest do what is in your sons whishes just be a good mom don't cause needlessly crap between you and his dad . If you have a real issue like abuse or drug use then worry your just inventing stuff to get mad over. If he misses enough school go to court bring it up to the judge.