my co-worker is gossipping about me. When I confronted them they denied it. What kind of solution should I do?
2006-10-23 07:59:35 · 14 answers · asked by rocuaterno 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Ignore the trouble maker. If you don't let them see their getting to you they will move on to someone else. People who gossip are sad lonely people with no life of their own. Be happy their talking about you that just means their leaving someone else alone.
2006-10-23 11:29:11 · answer #1 · answered by purrfectsandcastle 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow - you've been given some pretty bad advice thus far...except for going to HR, but even that is a LAST RESORT. He/she (I'm going to assume it is a she for the sake of argument) will definitely gossip about THAT making you a tatle tale in everyone's eyes and essentially ruining your reputation at the company. A few things:
1. Is what she saying true? If so, I'd say do nothing and let it blow over. You probably won't benifit froma prolonged discussion of the topic.
2. If it isn't true - you should confront her. Instead of asking her if she is gossiping, tell her that you KNOW she is gossiping because you've heard from more than one person some of the things she's been saying. Ask her to put herself in your shoes - how would she handle something like that? Clearly you can go to HR (a threat) but it seems so stupid to have to do that over something like this. Tell her that you're hoping that it doesn't have to go further than this conversation, but if you continue to hear that she is talking behind your back, she's going to have to get management involved.
She may deny it, but she'll at least think if she wants to continue on this track. If she continues to gossip - involve HR and go after her hard. Keep your boss in the loop and talk to your co-workers as well. This is akin to a media war - silence is death. You'll need to be out at the water cooler talking to people getting your side of the story, so do it. It'll suck, but if you remain silent and she doesn't (and she won't) then even if HR slaps her wrist, your co-workers may turn against you.
Don't cede the moral high ground by gossiping about her though. Just tell people that she's been at this too long and you refuse to be bullied.
What kind of office is it? Is it an office?
2006-10-23 08:15:05 · answer #2 · answered by A M 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you feel the gossip is creating an uncomfortable work environment for you, then go to the human resources department and file a formal complaint. If it's a small company that doesn't have an HR department or doesn't enforce rules against such behavior, then you'll have to decide if you'd rather find a job with a better environment or just ignore the gossip.
2006-10-23 08:05:36 · answer #3 · answered by Rob B 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I used to eat my lunch by myself, or go outside alot. But they tend to see that as running away. That's not the way I saw it, it's beat to much annoying chit chat anyway.
Try tell em' exactly what you think. For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, however. So you don't know the outcome until you try it.
Most people say try a different job in a different place where you might be more comfortable.
If the job itself is working well for you though, I don't think you should have to leave it just because of a few people.
Maybe politely ask them, "What's the problem?" "I'm just as good as you are"
2006-10-23 08:08:26 · answer #4 · answered by smoothsoullady 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask your HR how much money they company has in reserve for Slander suits that occur from an employee at work with management knowing the slander is occurring. Make sure its in an open forum like a company weekly meeting. Make sure you also have full eye contact with the person that is causing the problem when you ask. Then just leave it alone. They will stop.
2006-10-23 09:07:53 · answer #5 · answered by jerod_gavel 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is great advice for women in your situation:
hit that b1tch in the head with a bottle!
Seriously, the gossiping hens are at every workplace. They are probably spreading rumors about you because you're probably cute, and they see you as a threat. Not that that's going to help you any, but there it is.
2006-10-23 08:31:58 · answer #6 · answered by Manny 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The next timeyour boss is nearby their workspace, go over to them and say really loudly: "You guys really need to STOP STEALING the office supplies."
That should not only put them in a tight position, but it's gonna make them majorly scared of messing that you.
2006-10-23 08:05:46 · answer #7 · answered by RoMa 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Get another job. There is no point talking to your supervisor about it since they are in denial. Go record the conservation and talk to your supervisor about it. Good Luck.
2006-10-23 08:05:25 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wait until a lot of people are around and hand her some Valtrex while saying, "I got the Valtrex you asked for, it should help minimize your herpes outbreak".
2006-10-23 08:09:52 · answer #9 · answered by trafficjams 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I would reccommend talking to your boss. There might be some nasty repercussions waiting for him/her if you do so.
Either that or ignore it.
2006-10-23 08:07:59 · answer #10 · answered by half_shadow27 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋