why does it hard to fall inlove with someone ?

Question

its like i wanna move on from my past but it seems like i cant..its so hard...........

Answer 1

Because falling in love with anyone is more of a chemical or hormonal high than anything. We all have our dream fantasies of how the happiest love story will happen for us, and with what type of a person. (Often the physical attributes and material objects are what matter). Thing is that once our dream fantasy has been somewhat messed up, we are not as likely to 'fall in love' as easily. My advice to you stop wishing or waiting to fall in love and get to know people you like better. You'll realise that loving someone is something we choose to do, and is worthwhile when we are in control of our emotions.

Cheers

Answer 2

Cause the person that is going to knock your socks off the first time you see em hasn't shown up yet. Give it time. Theres lots of things you can do and enjoy without being in love with a person. You should know by now that things tend to get a little slower as you get older and love is one of them. Everybody has been in your situation or is, at this present time, in it. So don't get all gloomy cause we want it just as bad as you. The past is just a warm up game so that you don't mess up when the right person comes along.

Answer 3

Sounds like you get real hurt and are scared of it happening again. i know its hard to put the past behind you but if you don't you may never be happy. You have to take risks in life and falling in love can one of the best if not the worst kind of risks to take. You have to just let it go and open up to what can be. Don't close your self cuz of what had been you'll regret it

Answer 4

Great question.
The only reason I believe its hard to fall in love again is the amount of time that needs to be invested.

Getting to know somebody and and falling in love with that person is a huge emotional investment. So its always hard to let go of the ex's becuase the emotional investment is still there.

I haven't spoken to my ex in 9 months and I still miss her, and its hard to keep interest in new girls.

Answer 5

because you are still inlove him/her..its like you cant accept that he/she dumped you or you cant accept why he/she is not inlove with you..You cant accept the way they treat you like your friends telling you that you are not compatible with each other or sometimes they say he/she is too handsome or beautiful for you..its like they are saying you are ugly,,they always hurt your feelings,,,its like they saying that you dont deserve to be love,,sometimes the world is so unfair,,thats part of life we cant control it, its really really hard,,

Answer 6

If you really want to know, try replacing "I can't" with "I am not willing to".

It is your way of hanging on to what you once had, staying connected.

You are carrying old baggage. Drop it off because baggage contaminates all future relationships. You wil subconsciously end up expecting another man to carry this baggage for you; to be responsible for it, (not trusting him because you have been burnt before).

Forgive your ex for his shortcomings. Thank him for teaching you what to avoid in the future. Thank him for the experience and wisdom. Be glad he is someone else's problem now.

Forgive yourself for making the mistake of being emotionally invested with him. Mistakes do not detract from your quality as a human. They are ways to lean what doesn't work. Your character is determined by how you handle them.

Take responsibility for your own feelings. No one else wants that job anyway. Look at your freedom as a gift, and an opportunity to find yourself. Get back at him by not letting him destroy you. He shouldn't be significant enough to have that kind of power. Get back at him by improving your life without him in it.

Build yourself up with new activities and accomplishments. Try kickboxing or yoga. Do things that are good for you, and that give you the opportunity to meet others doing the same thing. Keep your life busy and full of things that are good for you and get you out and anound people.

In the future, look for consistency between a man's words and his behavior over time, in different situations, under different circumstances. Look for qualities like empathy, which tends to indicate sincerity and compassion. Avoid qualities like narcissism, which tends to indicate control issues and spitefulness.

When you spend time with a man, and you "get close" to him, you are sharing Emotional Intimacy. That's the comfort zone where you two tell each other secret stuff you wouldn't tell anyone else. You are confident that they will not take advantage, exploit your feelings, or judge you. Men seem to take longer to find this zone than women, by nature. many fear this kind of vulnerability, and seek to avoid it by using women for meaningless sex. by the way, the longer you hold out and put off having sex, the better chances you have of finding that emotional intimacy.

You will know you're in love with someone because you will feel confident and certain of their feelings for you. You will know it with the same certainty that you know your own first name. You will never question, wonder, or worry about their feelings for you. Their behavior will match their words consistently thoughout various circumstances and situations. They will have respect, compassion, acceptance, trust, and empathy for you, as you for them. You will feel appreciated and fulfilled.

Get to know different guys. Don't try to create a relationship with any of them. Let that happen on it's own. Watch out for red flags, and make excuses for no one. There are many worthy guys waiting for you to notice them.

Answer 7

i think it has to do with the fact that we all expect something that we can't have, something we can never ascertain because of some sort of thought in the back of our heads preventing us from getting into a relationship becuase on the deepest level we, as humans, try not to get ourselves into situations that have extremely negative effects on our inner psyches.

Answer 8

it going to take time but it never hard to just let go and move, plus u will need friends and family to help you out

Answer 9

I feel what you're going through. I can't really give you an answer but I just wanted to let you know that you're not alone in that.

Answer 10

you need to let go and take a step back and look at all of the people you do love.