My daughter always wants to roll her pants up at the waist until the bottom is at her shin. She wants her shoes tied (or velcroed) so tight that they leave marks all over her feet when she takes them off. She never complains that they hurt, but I know it cant be good for shoes to be that tight. Sometimes she wants the velcro so damn tight that there isn't any left to stick to itself (if you know what i'm trying to say).
Anyway, she'll throw the BIGGEST tantrum until her clothes are the way she likes them. How do I change this? Timeouts aren't helpful so please dont suggest them. I cant stick her in a time out when we're ready to leave for school/work in the morning. If I give her a little smack on the bottom, it just makes her throw a bigger fit. I am at my wits end. But she cant be wearing flood like pants in chicago in the winter, and cant have her shoes so darn tight that it's probably cutting off her circulation! Help!
2006-10-23 07:39:50 · 16 answers · asked by Coltsgal 5 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
Please! I dont smack my child over what she wants to wear! I gave her a spaking on her but a few times for kicking or slapping me during her tantrum! Dont judge till you know what the situation is like!
2006-10-23 08:41:03 · update #1
Little kids, like to try things out for themselves. So, if she wants to be uncomfortable...let her. My three year old, wears his soccer cleats to school sometimes. But guaranteed its not two days in a row. Also, when we have problems putting on clothes all together, I have actually taken him to school, carried him to his class room w/o his shirt or shoes. His teacher took over from there. AGAIN, that never had to happen again. The teacher said, that will only happen 3 times...even though they are little they still understand, embarrassment. So, let her be uncomfortable and talk w/ the teacher so they know to watch her. Also, dint yell at her about her request, shes really not "hurting" herself, talk calm and on her level making eye contact. Be her friend and her mommy and gently express to her why its not a good idea to wear things too tight. Then after you take her shoes off, talk to her again, and show her what happened. But you have to do it gently and at her level. She'll pay more attention to you that way. Good luck.
2006-10-23 07:51:49 · answer #1 · answered by abc 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I agree with the first poster. She will keep doing it as long as you let her. You can do a couple of different things that might help. One would be slip on shoes or boots. You can't tighten what isn't there. try modifying her clothes. Shorten the waist so it can't be rolled up.
Personally, I would let her throw the fit. She will get over it eventually or just get tired of screaming and being ignored. I have a girl who is very particular about her clothes and will also throw tantrums over the fit. I stopped giving in, giving her attention about it and told her to deal. Eventually she did. She still has a fit occasionally but not too often.
2006-10-23 14:50:18 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate to say this (because it's going to rattle your nerves) but just wait out the tantrum. Once she sees that throwing a fit wont get her what she wants, she'll stop. Now she may try to find another method of getting to dress the way that she wants, so I would at least try to make a compromise with her. Let her know why it's a bad idea to dress that way, and perhaps find another style that you'll both be happy with.
But you're going to have to be firm with her because giving in to what she wants through tantrum is basically the same as encouraging them.
2006-10-23 14:46:39 · answer #3 · answered by §чﺀﺀчβчﻯ†a 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Remove all her clothes except the ones you feel comfortable with her wearing. Remove the problem altogether by only giving her clothes that will be comfortable on her - eg. just remove the velcro shoes.
Don't cheat your child of the consequences of her own actions - if she rolls up her pants and gets cold, then she'll learn something from that. She'll learn that she's cold. She'll be fine.
2006-10-25 02:50:12 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't worry about the pants. She'll roll them down when her legs keep getting cold. It's a phase anyway and she'll grow out of it.
I would take away the velcro shoes--replace them with shoelaces or slip-ons Circulation is more important than keeping her in those shoes.
2006-10-23 16:34:33 · answer #5 · answered by Daisy 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Maybe try some slip on shoes or since it's getting colder maybe boots would work. As for the pants I'd just let her wear them how she wants. If she isn't able to roll them up herself, refuse to do it for her. If she throws a fit, let her, she'll get over it.
2006-10-23 14:49:00 · answer #6 · answered by d_magical_s_sweetness 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she is that rigid in her habits then you might want to look into testing her for ADHD/ODD or Asperger's Syndrome (Autism).
Also, any negative discipline will escalate any problem that comes up. Choose your battles and decide which behaviors you want to change (not all at once) and work on them. Reward her for positive results and discuss the lack of a reward when she does not earn it. Praise, praise, praise her positive behavior to reinforce them - she needs to hear that she is pleasing you.
Also, some behavior modification may be needed on your part (as I have learned the hard way). Set positive examples, focus on the positive, treat her the way you want her to treat those around her. When she hit you and you hit back you are reinforcing that negative behavior - remind her that hitting is inappropriate. Set a reward for when she expresses her frustration or anger in a more appropriate manner.
2006-10-24 23:18:11 · answer #7 · answered by AlongthePemi 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
all kids go threw this. You will just have to let her realize things on her own. Belive me when she gets snow in those shoes she will change her mind. Let her be herself now. I learned through love and logic that the more things kids express NOW like fit throwing and personal expression, the less they will do it when they are older. Like dressing like a freek, or having mental issues, and stuff. Let her decide for now, most parents understand and will not judge you. My youngest daughter thinks she has to wear ballet clothes all over. she stopped when it got cold though. let time have a turn.
2006-10-23 14:45:36 · answer #8 · answered by sr22racing 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
get her slip on shoes and make her wear dresses with snow pants i live in wisconsin and no thatyou better be putting snow pants on kids. if she has a problem she can then deal with it. You are a parent who is stooping to her level of attitude. you must do the same punishment every single time or she will never listen to you for then she will know mom will bickel and" give me things the way i want them" kids learn fast.
2006-10-23 14:47:45 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
she obviously isnt uncomfortable.kids want to wear a halloween costume or snow boots in the summer! they have there own idea of how they like there clothes.unless you see that its posing a serious risk to her health i really wouldnt worry. of course i wouldnt let her out without appropriate clothing in the winter and if you see her with her pants rolled up tell her playtime outside is over unless she wants to wear her pants the right way.
2006-10-23 14:52:36 · answer #10 · answered by ♥mama♥ 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋