Ok i just had a little boy. I am so not the religiouse type, in fact i think the catholicreligion is so corrupt and contradicting its not even funny. However, my boyfriend and his WHOLE family are psyco *** catholics. Anyway, my boyfriends mom is trying to push me into baptising MY SON catholic and so is my boyfriend. Every single time i go to her house she bombards me with "why havent you baptised him!" blabblablabla Its so annoying, i feel like telling her tostfu and stay out of my buisness. If i have to baptise him i would want to baptise him non denominationally, i dont want anyone to push religion on him. I do care what my boyfriend thinks but it seems like he doesnt take my feelings into consideration. Hes not the one who carried the baby around for nine months but he makes ALL of the major decisions. AM i being selfish or do i have a right to be aggervated?
2006-10-23 07:25:12 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
i just want to add. I dont want any psyco hard core catholics who think like my boyfriends family to answer this. I get enuff critisism from them and im not looking for that on here thank you
2006-10-23 07:33:17 · update #1
Speaking as a Catholic, there is no sense in baptizing your son as a Catholic if you do not intend to raise him as a Catholic. Just about any priest would agree with me.
Maybe a solution would be to ask this question of the priest at your boyfriend's parish and ask for a reply in writing. Then show the reply to your boyfriend.
Also, if your boyfriend is so devoout of a catholic, how come he got you pregnant without marrying you first?
E-mail me if you have any other questions or comments.
2006-10-23 07:30:46 · answer #1 · answered by Sldgman 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Mmmmm...tricky one.
Firstly, I have my own opinions on infant baptism, but I will try and keep them out in answering this question.
I know you have your own religious beliefs and so does your family. Yes, you are correct, you did carry this baby to term, but you have to remember it is ALSO your partner's baby,
I feel as though you have to respect his feelings/desires/wishes
for his son.
I am sorry your inlaws are being so pushy(and they can be like that at times).
Did you discuss this prior to your son's birth?
It sounds as though it has just come upon you now, after your son's birth.
Here is just a suggestion.
In order to keep peace(and I sense that is what you want) I am wondering if you could have two ceremonies here, just so everyone is happy. Now, I know that sounds like a big "ask"
but sometimes peace is needed in a family if things are to continue to run smoothly.
Your inlaws and partner are catholics. Right? And you are non-religious? Right?
Perhaps you could have your son baptised in the church but also have a non-religious ceremony as well.
Some people have "baby naming ceremonies" and this kinda
makes up for the non-religious baptisimal ceremony.
At the end of the day, your son is going to grow up and he will decide what religion he wants to be. The fact that he has been baptised in the catholic church dosn't mean he is going to remain catholic.
If your family want him to be raised catholic, then I am sorry but this may pose to be a bigger problem.
I think your partner and yourself really need to sit down and work
out what is best FOR your son.
I don't believe that family members should get involved or become too pushy. Kindly tell them (in love) that you value their opinions but you know what is best for you son.
This is a tricky problem and I wish you well.
Obvioulsy you need to to be doing a lot of communicating in the next few days or so with family, partner etc.
Good luck!
2006-10-23 14:37:31 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No where in the Bible are infants baptized, this is to be done at the age of accountability when a child realizes what it represents, and that Christ died for his sins and ask Christ to come into their lives and be their Lord and Saviour, baptism represents the death of the old life and the resurrection into the new life, and it is done in obedience to Christ. Read Mark 16:16, Matthew 28:18 thru 20. An infant can't comprehend verse 20. If you read and understand baptism it is to be done after you are saved.
2006-10-23 14:43:04 · answer #3 · answered by judy_derr38565 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The Catholic Church has never contradicted itself and is the only true Christian religion. If you baptise your son Catholic he will be able to obtain all the graces from the sacraments (the Eucharist, confession, Last rights etc). How could you knowingly deprive your son of these?
However if you dont become a Catholic as well, and dont attend Mass or in a sense raise your son as a Catholic, then why even Baptise him?
2006-10-23 14:30:17 · answer #4 · answered by Shane 3 · 1⤊ 3⤋
Religious pressure, especially from family, is difficult to deal with. But first try not to be upset with them. Catholics believe strongly that baptism is a sacrament essential for salvation. So their motives may be okay even if their methods are wrong.
I don't know if they believe in the Bible, but if so, you can show them that the Bible does not teach infant baptism. It teaches a person has to be a believe, able to make such a decision, before they are baptized. One example is Acts 8:12, which shows that the ones who got baptized were those who came to believe. They were men and women. Any good Bible concordance, which is a book that shows all the places a certain word appears in the Bible will make it clear that when Christianity was established Baptism was not for infants. So when your child has grown and understands that is when he can make that decision.
2006-10-23 14:36:53 · answer #5 · answered by linniepooh 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
GET LEGAL HELP
First... tell her in no uncertain terms that you will no longer tolerate such intrusion from her... that the subject is closed and that is that... then stick to it.... you state that your "boyfriend" is involved.... clearly he is not of The RC faith or he would not have been making a baby with you... so you need not be concerned for his opinion either... you are in charge of you baby... I could give you all the "religious" talk about why you should not have done this or that and all that... but it is done...you now need to take charge of your life so that you can take charge of your child and that is all you should be concerned about... the bio grandmother has absolutly no say what -so-ever about the upbringing of your child.... and if the "boyfriend" is as you describe...hit him for all the child support you can get and cut him out of the equation otherwise... get on with your life and responsabilities to your child... dump the bum and the mum
GET LEGAL HELP
2006-10-23 14:35:54 · answer #6 · answered by IdahoMike 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The key word in your question to me is boyfriend--he may be the father of your baby, legally he is nothing. If you do not want your child baptised, don't baptise it. Let the child make his own decision. The family needs to respect that.
2006-10-23 14:29:23 · answer #7 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When we as Catholics are baptized, we are cleaning our souls from Original Sin. It is done as a baby in case, (heaven forbid), the baby dies, his soul will go to directly to heaven. I am sure that they don't mean to be pushy they are only looking out for your baby's soul. I don't think that you are being selfish, you just don't understand the Catholic Faith. But I really think that you need to sit down with your Boyfriend and talk things out and let him know where you stand in all this. But please remember, this is not about what you want or what he wants. This is for the baby.
2006-10-23 14:47:41 · answer #8 · answered by CLAUDIA L 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Be to yourself true. Unfortuntly this often happens in relationships that are connected with different religions or lines of thought. I suspect the answer would be to find a balance between your thoughts and his religion.
Another possibile answer would be to suggest that the family waits until the child has been introduced to both your thoughts and their religion and then let the child make the decsion to what he is comfortable with..
2006-10-23 14:43:36 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What I am about to say, many people (Christians) may disagree with me on; but so be it.
Baptism is being buried in Christ; not buried in water. (Catholics do not require one to be buried in water currently). The burial is in Christ's authority, not water. (See 1 Cor. 10:2)
The pillar was Christ, (Exodus 14), but that is a deeper subject.
As for your 'right to be aggravated', realize that all 'we' human beings have some growing (some more than others) to do.
May your actions and words to him reflect your answer to that concept.
2006-10-23 14:41:04 · answer #10 · answered by jefferyspringer57@sbcglobal.net 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋