Me and my sister keep on arguing about nothing she picks holes in everything about me. When i have time off she skivs work so she can be at home with me and my mum. She is constantly trying to split us up and changes her story to my mum to make me look worse. I have tried to ignore her, be nice to her and turn it into a joke but me and her can't stop arguing and it is effecting my relationship with my mum she hates me (she told me) and i hate her. I do not want to be related to her or see her ever again but she lives in the same house as me. She also does not get on with my brother but my brother moved out so i hardly ever see him. I am 14 and she keeps telling to to f**k off out of the house and no-one likes me but i don't know what to do! I don't want to leave and i need some help on finding away to get her to leave or insults to stop her being so horrible she is 29 and i don't want anything to do with her!!!
2006-10-23 06:36:01 · 10 answers · asked by loopyloz 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Try showing her love. Love conquers all...Don't you know the expression "kill her with kindness". Be happy you have a sister.
There's many girls that don't have siblings or have lost them. Be happy! Smile. Think more on the positve than the negative.
Start doing some favors for her. Or even cleaning her room. Maybe you can bake her a cake. And ask your mom "what can I do to help you around the house" Don't always be Me, Me, Me! It's not about you. Once you humble yourself and start showing CONSISTENT kindness (not just once), you will win your sister and mum over.
No matter what they do to you, don't show it bothers you. Ignore it and turn around and do something nice.
Things will change, you will see.
God Bless!
2006-10-23 07:01:06 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lauren,
First of all your sister is WAY to old to be acting this way. You're 14, she is 29! I would suggest you get some counceling through your church. If you do not have one, I am sure you may know someone who is grounded and part of one. You may also talk to your school councelor (as I am sure this situation will effect your concentration). Most churches offer some type of free family counceling. We had to go through it with our family. It really helped. A good councelor will see things from all angles- not just your sister's.Again- In my personal opinion, she is way too old to be still living at home. This puts her in the position of being a 2nd mom in her mind.
Unless she is there because your family needs the financial assistance, she needs to go. But I promise you, for your sanity and the family's well being, you all need counceling. A good councelor ALWAYS sees through a con artist.
You may want to determine why she has such an attitude toward you. Do you have a chemical imbalance? Major mood swings? Outbursts? My daughter had one and needed medication. WE could hardly bear to be aroung our own daughter, even though we love her more than anything. Does she have one? Could it be she needs help? Maybe she needs meds.This will also come out in counceling.
14 - 21 are VERY hard years and you will need help getting through them. I have 2 daughters age 18 and one almost 22. I know. The biggest mistake you can make in life is NOT getting help if you are in a situation like yours.
2006-10-23 14:03:36 · answer #2 · answered by jamocha 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been there and I know this sounds really weird, but the moment my sister got married and left the house, we became the best of friends. I mean we really used to fight, hair, teeth, nails.... I cringe when I think about it now! Her husband still has marks on his hands from before they were married and he tried to split us up and I scratched his hand to get him off us!
Once she was out of the house, it just stopped. All the animosity just vanished. I spent tons of time in their house because (believe it or not) it gave me somewhere to go away from home! How crazy is that????
More to the point, I really miss her now I live miles away!
Try keeping out of her way as much as possible. Don't talk to her unless it's absolutely necessary and however she talks to you, be polite and calm (take a lot of deep breaths!!). If you make a drink, make one for her whether she's asked you to or not. Treat it as a game, see how long you can last (before either you freak her out with your Ice - polite exterior OR before you punch her lights out!). Give it a go, it sounds as though you need a laugh. It'll give your Mum a break as well!
2006-10-23 15:09:03 · answer #3 · answered by Val G 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
im 24 and have an annoyin 14 yr old sister so i can sympathise in reverse to me my sister gets away with more than i used to and pushes the boundaries all the time and i will admit i get jealous a lot coz she takes it for granted so is there anyway that mayb wot ur sis feels like but dont no how to grow up if not then mayb u should try and get ur mum on her own and explain it i hopes this helps and sorry if it dont if u eva wanna chat email me
2006-10-23 13:43:08 · answer #4 · answered by dee r 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
shes disgusting! at her age she should know better. is there anybody else in your family that can help? she sounds jealous of you to be honest cos lets face it she shouldnt be living at home at her age anyway. shes trying to come between you and your mum cos shes jealous of the relationship you have with you mum. ignore the immature woman and let her get on with it. if she tries to argue just walk away from her, i know its hard but dont entertain her, shes sounds extremly spiteful. what does your mum say about all this?
2006-10-23 15:04:30 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont listen to the unfeeling cretin at the top.
it sounds like your sisters being pretty horrible to you. being 29 she's probably just jealous of your youth, and angry with herself for still living with her mother. Shes just taking out her own issues on you.
I wouldn't worry too much, i had the same thing with most of my siblings. things will change in time and get better, honestly.
Just try and do your best to keep your cool, dont let it effect other parts of your life, or your relationship with others.
Chin up girl, this country makes fighters.
2006-10-23 13:48:07 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think you need to grow up and quit hating your sister.
I feel sorry for your poor mum to have to put up with all that. What are you doing to help the situation?
Doesn't sound like it is all your sister to me...maybe you need to look at yourself in the mirror.
2006-10-23 13:41:15 · answer #7 · answered by Ellyn 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
She needs to fall in love, get married and move out of mum's house.
She is jealous of you!!
I would introduce her to every single man I met.
Seriously.
Welcome to your new hobby.
2006-10-23 13:56:17 · answer #8 · answered by emilsignia 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing worse than sibling rivalry. Your poor mom. But there is a way that you can possibly try, it has always worked for me. You know and I know that " we usually find what we are looking for " and this is especially true in sibling rivalry, if we look for disagreements we will usually get a fair share of them. We don't have to look very far to find weaknesses in our siblings as we know them so well and we all have them. And usually it always is one " runt " of the litter, so to speak, that seems to make it her issue to find faults in the rest of the litter.
Why this is I don't know, maybe she has strong hostility issues and may not even be aware of them herself. And by looking at your faults and criticizing you is one way of " getting even " or striking out at you. Possibly she had a negative relationship with mom and dad growing up when you were born, I really can't say, thus she is getting even now at you. Possibly she feels insecure of herself and by criticizing you and finding fault with you, she is attempting to lift her own self-concept. It could possibly be a number of things that make her react toward you as she does.
There is a great deal of good which can be said about anyone, and some times in families, there are certain members who don't appreciate each other as they should.
It is important for siblings in families to capitalize on each other's strengths, at the same time overlooking undesirable traits they see in each other. If you go through life merely looking for the undesirable weaknesses, you not only develop poor relationships within the family, and you will also become disenchanted with yourself. True, you probably would like to change your sister, but you would probably spend a lifetime trying.
But in order to overcome this rivalry you cannot stoop to her level of attitude. You have to overlook her undesirable traits. Try to minimize your sister's negative points as much as you can and it should make a happier environment for all.
You may wish she was different, but that won't change her. Try to pick out something positive about your sister and accept her on that basis. It is vital to accept your sister for what she is rather than for what she will never be. You will miss much if you continue to fail to notice your sister's positive side. When you stop wishing and hoping your sister will stop bugging you, the end result will be a much happier you.
Two pieces of metal rubbing together can become abrasive, antagonistic, and eventually wear each other out. But the same pieces of metal, when well oiled regularly can function together for years without friction. So it is with life. When you interact with your sister, adjust your attitude toward her and save yourself a lot of heartache, arguments, disappointments and unhappiness. In other words, plain and simple, Be Nice, even if she is not. You will make greater progress with getting along with your sister if your careful of YOUR behavior and in what you say to her. Granted, such behavior on your part will cause you to be much more accepted possibly by your sister, if not, at least by others and it will make you the much more happier person.
I want to wish that you heed this advice and find that peace you so long to have. God Bless
They have a web site that may help you in finding some answers to some of your questions.
2006-10-23 14:53:36 · answer #9 · answered by trieghtonhere 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
shes just jealous of you bcause your young and free and shes just some sad 29 yo who still lives with her mum
don't worr about her
2006-10-27 13:38:49 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋