Is there a problem in my long distance relationship?

Question

I started talking to her in August after several emails through myspace. We had a really long talk that first night and had so mnay things in common that we scared each other. a couple of weeks later after talking on the phone almost every night and text messaging each other, we started to realize we had deeper feelings. I felt it about the same time as her but was afraid to say anything too soon since we had not even seen each other yet. One night she almost told me what she felt for me and I stopped her before she did and told her I loved her and she said she loved me back. That was over a month ago. It was good for awhile, talking about seeing each other and always keeping in communication but after a couple of weeks, I started to hear less and less. I know I am being paranoid, but I call her (not too many times I think) and I usually dont get a call back or if I do, it's like a 20 minute conversation. She says she loves me, but should I be concerned?

thank you for the quick responses. I have felt everything you are telling me I just hate thinking about it bc I always strive to think positively. I know she still loves me but I am wondering if I should not call her for a while (and for how long) and then what should I say.

I should also mention that we did have a previous conversation after I was upset about her never calling me back and was worried that she was losing me.

Answer 1

I have been in long distance relationships in the past and no matter how wonderful both parties intentions are, they don't seem to last unless there is some middle ground. For instance, do you live within a days drive of the other? Can you afford to see that person on something of a regular basis? I believe that there is really something to be said for the ability to connect with someone on a personal level. Also, don't underestimate how powerful the sense of touch is and when you are not able to reach out and touch the other (I'm talking holding hands, nothing weird or kinky implied here), there is definately tension and somethimes that tension is unhealthy for any relationship. Good luck and don't give up on her, she may just be going through a busy time in her life and she may just not feel like sharing the mundane details so she ops to not tell them to you and therefore making your conversations shorter...if you have doubts, talk to her about them and see where she stands. Good Luck!!

Answer 2

I've been in a similar situation before. I lived in Atlanta and was introducted, by a mutual friend, to a woman living in Chicago. We emailed initially and then started talking on the phone. We discovered that we too shared so many things in common it was 'scary'. We both ended up feeling strong attraction for each other before we met. Eventually, we did meet, and we actually ended up dating for several months, during which time we found out that we were nowhere near as "perfect" together as we were sure we would be when we were emailing and talking on the phone. Even though you can get to know a lot about a person via email and phone, it is really impossible to get to know them well enough to love them. You can be strongly attracted to the IDEA of them, you can be infatuated by the IDEA of being with them, and I'm sure it can even FEEL like love but until you actually get to spend a lot of time with her you'll never know what a relationship would really be like and whether or not you'd actually get along.

Bottom line, call her when you want to but don't EXPECT anything back from her.

Answer 3

Until you have actually met this person, there is no such thing as love and no such thing as a real relationship. Seems to me that she may have some issues that make her afraid to meet you and so she is backing off.

August is not so long ago - she could easily have met somebody else. It's easy to say "I love you" when you don't think you'll ever see somebody.

The holidays are coming up - push for a get together. You don't say whether you are a student or an adult. If she puts you off, then give up.

Answer 4

It's difficult, if not impossible to sustain a "relationship" via text, emails and phone calls without acutally meeting. After a while, people need to fish or cut bait because humans need contact, they need to look at each other, they need to hold hands and be in the same room. The phone/email thing burns out after 3-4 months if you don't meet. This looks like it's run it's course.
Consider meeting someone in person, rather than virtual reality. Virtual reality isn't real.

Answer 5

When it gets into one's mind that things are not going to work out because of the distance,then things could start to go sour. A relationship on a telephone seems to work better than in person. This is because serious decisions are not taken. Looking at a person and saying something is not as easy as when you do it over a phone.

Your mind will tell you how far, but your heart will tell you how close. Hope things work for you.

Answer 6

How some distance away are you from one yet another, a pair of states, an entire ocean or basically a pair of hours rigidity? There are different suggestion on a thank you to maintain the dating alive, different than telephone conversations: email, Chat, even snail mail. deliver her little applications. Granted, it's going to cost you, yet a dating is often an investment. lol with reference to the telephone conversations: Talks would not might desire to have "substance" yet i can't think of why or the way it could be uninteresting? You call one yet another to take heed to the different's voice top? considering you omit one yet another and you talk approximately issues you used to talk approximately once you have been jointly. nicely, you are able to initiate the matters you prefer to talk, ask approximately her day, tell her approximately yours, approximately that apple-polisher coworker of yours. and so on. Little issues which will make her sense as though she's nevertheless beside you. merely attempt to compensate her being no longer a talker which includes your thoughts. additionally, telephone conversations are stable, yet attempt to make certain her as in lots of cases as you are able to. As they say "Presence makes the middle greater advantageous." stable success.

Answer 7

You should and shouldn't.This happend to me aswell...we conversated and all that too. I think you came out to strong by saying the "L" word and she probably got freaked out and just said it back to be polite. She's not keeping as much contact as before because she feels pressured and is unsure of her feelings. Just relax, kick back, and let things move by!!!

Answer 8

Long distance relationships are a problem in themselves.

I have one and i feel the same way somtimes. Remember, she does have a life she has to live just keep loving her and eventualy you two will get together and there will be much rejoicing. yay...

Answer 9

With personal connections you need to be able to look in the person's eyes. I wouldn't put much faith in an internet connection unless you have met in person regularly.

Answer 10

Well I think, you should let it go if she is not responding, You all don't havfe any obligations to one another, Its long distance and you have never actually met. I would move on.