My boyfriend of 3 weeks is very insecure. I adore him but he has a low self-esteem. He is good looking, smart, funny and has a good heart. I constantly shower him with praises and compliments. What can I do?
2006-10-23 06:19:54 · 4 answers · asked by Peaches 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You're doing all you can for him, and it'll get old real soon, no matter how much you love him. The only other thing I might suggest is that he get some counseling, because building self-esteem is an inside job.
2006-10-23 06:24:05 · answer #1 · answered by inquiringmind 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To feel more secure
So in order to feel more secure you need to boost your self-confidence. It's time to be honest here. There are four areas - emotional, spiritual, physical and mental ? that need to be addressed.
What are some of your good qualities? The things your mother praises about you, the things your best friend notices and points out.
If you've forgotten what those qualities are ? ask a friend, family member, or an ex-boyfriend or girlfriend. Choose someone you trust.
Then work on the physical part. What is it you really need to change? You know the one or two things you don?t like about yourself that you can easily change.
Do you want to lose 10 pounds? Then start an exercise program and learn to eat properly. Do you want to tone your muscles? Get an exercise video or hire a trainer. Do you want to dress differently? Hire an image consultant or get a hip friend to take you shopping.
Maybe you want to stop smoking or start meditating to feel calmer and peaceful.
Start with one thing that will allow you to feel better about yourself. Something easy. Something achievable. You will build momentum.
Then take a look at the spiritual part ? what is your spiritual life like? Do you believe in a higher power? If so, are you in gratitude for the things you do have? Like two arms, legs, a healthy heart. Or do you complain about what you don?t have?
Gratitude lifts your self-confidence by strengthening your core.
Are you giving and loving to others? If you want to feel better about yourself ? give love to others. A generous heart works every time.
To lift up the mental part look at what information you are soaking up. Are you watching violent movies or soap operas or reading melodramatic novels? Are you glued to CNN?
The problem with those things is they connect you to low energy emotions of blame, regret, anxiety, humiliation, shame and even hatred.
Read uplifting stories, watch The Biography Channel or other interesting programming. Involve your mind in topics and with people who aren?t living in melodrama or negativity, but instead prefer to think positively and lovingly.
The emotional part will follow when you get the other three in order. Diet, exercise, spiritual growth and what your mind is exposed to, naturally affect your emotions because then you are in a loving energy field.
And if you are still suffering, then please get some professional help. There?s no shame in that. Don't suffer on your own.
2006-10-23 06:24:41 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're already doing it... :)
2006-10-23 06:23:25 · answer #3 · answered by ~Jessica~ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
take they to counseling......
2006-10-23 06:22:28 · answer #4 · answered by stress77mulah 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋