I have 7 yr old twins & I'm ready to have another one. My b/f & I live together & the relationship is very solid. We have had 2 pregnancy scares over the past 3 months & we've talked alot about the possibility of more kids(my twins are not his). We got excited about the possibility of having a baby so I know if it happened, it'll be a good thing. I then feel guilty after my period starts, when I tell him that I want to have a baby. He would like to wait a few years if possible-& I don't entirely disagree but how do I tell him I want to have another baby before I'm 30(I'm 28, he's 27)& I don't want to start over in my 30s? I know I have two years left but I also don't want the age gap between my twins & any other kids to be bigger than it already will be. Also, my bio-clock is ticking--tick- tock, tick-tock. Any longer & I'm not sure I even want to start over again. Idealistically, I want to wait til we're married but the itch is now & I would like to scratch it. What to do? Help!!
2006-10-23 06:00:03 · 17 answers · asked by hopestar23 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
boy that's a conumdrum with no easy answer...I think your best best would be to tell him staight out, that if he's serious about having your children he needs to do it now. while the age gap between your children doesn't really matter, conceiving after 30 does. Hopefully he will agree with you. I hope you get your new baby!
2006-10-23 06:04:29 · answer #1 · answered by jimi 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think waiting is a great idea. I thinking waiting for marriage is the best thing to do because when people usually say they have a "solid" relationship they mean they are married and have committed themselves to each other. Your biological clock has not even begun to tick at 28, there are women having children at 65. The age difference in your children will be helpful, the older children will be able to assist and they won't be in college at the same time which is a plus for parents who have to pay for that. I think you should respect and understand your boyfriends opinion, and once you two have taken that plunge perhaps considering having a baby at that point.
Best Wishes!!
2006-10-23 06:02:56 · answer #2 · answered by poetic princess 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It would be best to wait until after you are married. You didn't say how far off that was or how long you have been with your b/f. Weather the twins are 8 or 10 it won't make much difference. How is your b/f with your twins, this will give you a good idea on what kind of father he would be. If you're having a planned pregnancy, really plan it and think about what will be best for the baby
2006-10-23 06:27:55 · answer #3 · answered by lynnie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What is the reason why you guys are not getting married soon? Get married and have a child. You are absolutely right that the age gap between the twins and the new baby is already getting too big. Any longer, and the younger sibling won't be able to relate to the older ones, they will be grown-ups. You're not giving the reasons why you two would want to wait; they better be good ones.
2006-10-23 06:06:41 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off - your clock isn't ticking. I was 41 when my last child was born and believe me, I never heard any tick tock. If Second - where's the father of your twins and does your boyfriend treat your twins as his own? Having a relationship outside of marriage and wanting a baby to boot is giving your twins a very insecure view of the world and how it works. Would you want to see your children having children without the support of a spouse? Getting married is an adult commitment that requires strength, integrity and sincerity - consider doing that first.
2006-10-23 07:21:52 · answer #5 · answered by Liz D 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your not even 30 I doubt your clock is starting to tick, unless you have a family history of women starting menopause early. Most women can safely have child till at least 40 after that is when chances of birth defect increase, but many women in their 40’s have also had perfectly healthy babies.
You need to come to an agreement as a couple , having a big age gap between kids isn’t always a bad thing.
2006-10-23 06:45:44 · answer #6 · answered by Spread Peace and Love 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you can financially afford it talk it over with him again and go for it..make sure you explain to him the age difference is a big thing when your twins are graduating and if you had a baby i the next year then your youngest will be just be starting school i guarantee if he is happy when you've talked in the past about it then when you are he will be OK..when i got pregnant with my last child my bf and i had just had a talk agreeing no more kids..he and i both had other children form previous marriage..the day after that talk ...not knowing and being religiously on birth control for over a year i went to the DR for flu and was horrified to find out I was pregnant I thought he would leave , or think i was trying to trap him from our previous conversation ..but i truly had no idea....when i Told him he was ecstatic overjoyed and we are together 6 years later with our 5 yo happy as ever...if he and you are truly in love having a baby will be OK with him now or 2 years as long as its not a financial strain..even if it was he would love it because its a part of him and you..talk some more explain why and go for i good luck..
2006-10-23 06:12:14 · answer #7 · answered by Alli 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You clock ticks until you are 40. I see no rush in it. Maybe he wants to be financially secure to take care of the baby. Baby's cost alot of money to raise. I would like another baby too but I am not rushing out there to just have one and I am 39. My clock is ticking really fast compared to yours so slow down and enjoy the kids you have.
2006-10-23 06:05:57 · answer #8 · answered by red1967 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Call me old fashioned, but maybe you should get married first.
Oh, what's that? Marriage is too big a commitment...WHAT THE F*CK DO YOU THINK PARENTHOOD IS?
I know, you want what you want, and to hell with what's best for your children. (you probably don't know this but a stable home with a mother and father is best for kids). So just go on and keep having bastards.
2006-10-23 06:06:44 · answer #9 · answered by Coz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do the idealistic thing and bring some commitment to the household before you bring more children into the world. I find it difficult to believe one would want to make a commitment to children but not to their other parent.
Sigh, best of luck to you and yours!
John
2006-10-23 06:05:27 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋