We have dated for over 2.5 years. We broke up because of trust issues due to a mistake of his. We were trying to work things out and then all of a sudden he took a vacation to the Dominican Republic. Now, he has a girl calling him. He told me that she has called and that they have talked. He knows how I feel about friendships with the opposite sex and how they can cause problems in relationships. This is not someone that he knew before me. That would be different.
Do I have a right to be upset? If he really wanted to make things work would he bringing in another person to the equation? I know what I think, I just wanted to get oppinions of others.
Please give me your age and gender when answering. Thanks for your unbias oppinion.
2006-10-23 05:52:39 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
We have been broken up for about a month, but still continued to talk and see each.
2006-10-23 07:26:52 · update #1
yes & no. if you are working things out then he shouldn't be talking to other people
2006-10-23 05:56:35 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am a 25 year old married man (recently married). I guess to start the answer, I need to throw in a question. What was his "mistake" that caused "trust issues"? If it was him fooling around on you... why bother. I double this statement if he now has another girl in the picture while trying to work things out with you after cheating. Sounds like a no-brainer. My general philosophy is that you break up for a reason, let it go. People rarely change, and especially if he sees he can smooth things over and go back to how it was.
Now you mentioned you do not like him having female friends. Is this because he cheated, or in general? You cannot control who he is friends with. Male or female, it should not matter. If his mistake was not cheating, but something less serious then maybe you need to look at if you are being reasonable. It is not your place to tell him he cannot be friends with a woman. If you cannot trust him, then you should not be with him. A relationship must have trust, or it will not work. Evaluate the situation, and learn to either trust him or just let him go. Good luck.
2006-10-23 06:01:11 · answer #2 · answered by Craig B 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
26-F
Okay so I've been in long relationships and had tons of trust issues. I've also had issues with the bf bringing in new female friends into his web of friends. One important thing you might want to find out is if this girl knows about you and maybe even meeting her. If you meet her and he doesnt seem uncomfortable then I say go with the flow. You'll be able to tell if he is uncomfortable. You should be mad but if he really loves you he will do anything to make you more comfortable about this new female friend. If he is unwilling to cooperate then dump his *ss and find someone that will respect you and not be snooping around with some other girl.
2006-10-23 05:59:28 · answer #3 · answered by kitcatt143 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Trust is and foremost the important thing in any relationship. I think its heathly to let your b/f or g/f have opposite sex friendships but only if you know where they stand. Since you and him are broke up then he has every right to have some other girl call him. think of it like this if he met her in the republic its not really like he can actually be with her. You should turn the tables and let other guys call you and see how he reacts and likes it. I'm female, 18
2006-10-23 06:02:37 · answer #4 · answered by K@t 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes you have a right to be upset!
I'd feel the same way and have been in similar circumstances to, and not too long ago actually.
Someone that does this isn't committed to you or your relationship, and in my opinion are making a mockery out of it.
Now, it's possible (tho, not probable) that this guy got something started with this girl down there in the D.R. and maybe out of haste or anger he gave her his ph #, but that still doesn't make it right.
If he is willing to sever all those ties with this girl, and talk openly about it, and he doesn't give you any impression at all that he's being elusive, then maybe talk to him and give things a go. Otherwise I'd say you should prepare yourself to end the relationship with him.
:(
Best of luck to you.
2006-10-23 06:31:14 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Male 27
I think the "we are on a break" thing is more of a problem than anything else. The nature of a relationship should be clear. You either are not dating, you are dating but seeing other people or dating and seeing no one else. None of this we are not dating but also not seeing other people. Make up your mind if you want to be with him or not, if not then let him go out with his DR tramp.
2006-10-23 07:34:57 · answer #6 · answered by The Teacher 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You have a right to be upset because if both of you are trying to work things out why would he do something like that, that would make the relationship worst then it was before. I think that if he is doing that he doesnt really want to work out the realtionship, he probably doesnt care
2006-10-23 05:57:02 · answer #7 · answered by Pumpkin Nickel Bread 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
How sincere is he about 'working things out'?
How are you two getting along now? If youre constantly worrying about him making another mistake and the two of you are still seeing each other and communicating regularly, then you wouldnt have any doubts by his actions. If you rarely talk or see each other...nothing will be 'worked out'. I'm a female grownup. lol
2006-10-23 06:02:16 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
38/f - I feel that he knew that you didn't want him to have women friends after ya'll got back together and he isn't respecting you in chosing to continue to talk with other women. For whatever reason he feels he can just do whatever he wants to and it's worth the argument with you. He already broke the trust before and I don't think he can be trusted right now. Because of his past, I would tell him to call her, right in front of me, and tell her that he isn't going to talk with her anymore because of his respect for you. Good luck.
2006-10-23 05:59:07 · answer #9 · answered by Corona 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
no you have no right to be upset, but you have a right to turn around and keep on walking! so sorry mama, but he just entered the single zone so all the attention that he has from other women will be pretty hard to ignore. you dont trust him? fine! but he knows that someone else in the world will
2006-10-23 05:57:22 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I know that I would be upset, but you are no longer together. Honestly, he does have a right to talk to this girl. I would be mad about it though. I'm female, 28.
2006-10-23 05:56:03 · answer #11 · answered by ♥dream_angel♥ 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋