About a year ago my father was arrested and detained at a county jail for about a year. During this time to help him have money in his commisary I got a paper route and would send him most of my paycheck. I really didn't mind sharing this money with him since he was my father and I really loved him. During that following summer my mom sent both me and my little brother to Mexico to visit him I discovered some notes. Guess that money I was sending him wasn't only for him but it was also for some women who he met. She wrote him a letter saying thank you for buying me the shampoo, could you give me money so I can send my kids a letter. When we get out we are going to be a happy family, me and my kids and you with your kids. When I found out about this I felt really hurt because that winter in MichigAN was really harsh. Iwould come back home with my knees up to snow. Now that he is reamrrying he told my mom he doesn't want to be part of our life. What do you think?
2006-10-23 05:51:20 · 12 answers · asked by ReyMysterio'swife 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I think that you did a wonderful thing that turned out badly for you and hurt you. You also learned a valuable life lesson. Those we love aren't always going to love us or treat us as we should be treated.
You need to understand that people are people and don't always live up to our expectations. It's a pity that it was your father that let you down. Your father should be respected because he is your father but you don't owe him your love. Hopefully you have some other adult male in your life who can help you through life in the ways that your father should but is chosing not to.
I think someday your father will regret cutting you out of his life.
2006-10-23 05:57:58 · answer #1 · answered by parsonsel 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know that this is hard on you and your little brother. But you should write him a letter and tell him what you think. Don't hold nothing back. If you get a letter from him, then great, if not don't give it another thought. You have other family that really loves you. And in the long run, his is the one that is missing out. You helped him out when he was locked up. Your a great daughter for doing so. Winter in Michigan isn't so bad, I live there.(smile). My sons dad didn't want anything to do with him and we lived only less than 5 mins away from him. He waited intill he was old enough to take care of himself and then it was too late to start being a father. Keep your head up dear. I know that it is hard
2006-10-23 13:01:42 · answer #2 · answered by becca j 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, your father is wrong for doing what he did. He should show you more respect than that cuz you deserve it. I mean working to send him $ while he is jail. He should consider himself blessed cuz he has a daughter like you. I would just ask him why he did that,if you haven't already. See what he says and let him know how it made you feel. If he don't seem to care then is he really worth your time? It sounds like he is more worried about himself then you and your brother and your mom so if it were me I would put him in his place, make him feel bad for what he did, and then tell him to !!!! off if he don't tell you what u want to hear. I know it is your father and you love him for that but if he don't respect you than why should you respect him. After all he helped bring you into the world and he should be taking care of you not the other way around. You sound like you are very kind hearted and I don't think he should be treating you this way. I hope this helps. Sorry for the pain your father has given you!
2006-10-23 13:06:38 · answer #3 · answered by Poohbear 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should not be hurt by how he spent the money. You gave it to him so it was a gift to do what he want with it. You can't give someone anything and dictate what he should do with it. By seeing what your dad did do with the money however shows he is not a mature responsible person so you can expect him to say something stupid like that. I think he is trying to impress some female or maybe she has an input on this situation. Either way he is setting himself up for disappointment and hopefully he will gain some sense out this situation and become a better dad. But for now it is in the hands of time just be careful don't enable him to continue to be childish by your actions.
2006-10-23 13:07:19 · answer #4 · answered by barbie2 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are facing one of lifes cruel realities, there are some people that are no good, unfortunetly it was your father and he should feel ashamed by what he did to you.
I am very sorry this happened to you and, I know you must feel very hurt by his actions.
You may want to send him a letter and tell him that he hurt you and how disappointed you are in him. Sign it, mail it and, forget him if that is what he wants.
Try to be strong, take a deep breath and go on with your life, you can do it, and in time your pain will lessen.
You sound like a very considerate person and I would be proud to call you my child, it's just too bad he is so blind he couldn't see this in you.
Don't ever change!!
2006-10-23 13:09:37 · answer #5 · answered by yakity_one 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did you see the boy in the news whose father was temporarily let out of jail to donate an life-saving organ to his son, but he SKIPPED OUT and ran to Mexico with his girlfriend instead?? (The boy lived, but no thanks to his dad.)
His Dad is rotten, and your Dad is rotten.
Any jerk can donate sperm, but it takes a real Man to act like a father.
The question is, how will you respond? Don't let this pull you down. Tell him how you feel or don't, but don't let him ruin your life!! Work another year and use that money for college! Make something of your life and be happy. He betrayed your love and trust, so don't be his doormat, but you don't have to let this bring you down forever. He is a loss to grieve. Your mom, your brother, and someday other people will love you too.
Move on and try to keep a positive attitude despite the parts of life that suck (including him!).
2006-10-23 14:13:16 · answer #6 · answered by LadyE 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My dad left us and ran off and married a Mexican woman and didn't even tell us! We found out from one of his "girlfriends" who discovered he was cheating on her.
Point is....Moms and dads aren't perfect people and they are going to make mistakes. There is nothing you can do about it but live and learn. But I can pretty much guarantee that some day, your dad will regret his decision. Mine did.
It hurt like heck for a while, but then you just have to deal with it and grow closer to your mom, brothers, sisters. etc. You will get through it. He is NOT doing it because of you....he is going through some midlife crisis thing that many men go through...
Please try not to be upset and most of all....don't blame yourself!!
Good luck to you!
2006-10-23 13:00:23 · answer #7 · answered by Agent99 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow... that's got to hurt.
I guess you felt really betrayed by him.
Working hard to help HIM & then to find out that he was using the money not to help himself, but to give it to somebody else.
He didn't really need the money for himself... & he could have saved you the misery of the hardship you went thru, by telling you what was going on.
It would make me feel like he didn't care what I was going thru, in order to be there for him... & like he wasn't really there for me.
I would think he's self-centered... only caring about what he wants or doesn't want.
Tell him the truth about how you feel & what you think of him... then see if things get better or not.
If things don't get better, please realize that sometimes it's better for you to break free from certain issues, even if it means not associating with certain family members.
I hope it doesn't come down to that... I hope you can work out those issues with your dad... & I hope for your happiness.
2006-10-23 13:12:38 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I am very sorry to hear all this. I don't think it is right for you're father to do this. I wouldn't let it get you down though, his bad choices are no reflection of you. And it was very responsible of you to get a paper route to help him, many people wouldn't do that. If he doesn't want to be part of your life, its his loss.
2006-10-23 12:55:18 · answer #9 · answered by Fran Y 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
U have had a hard life and u r a good kid. Keep your love but don't waste your whole life for others. Good luck.
2006-10-23 12:54:44 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋