I'm starting to fear that I'm either getting sick mentally or I'm suffering a nervous breakdown. Advice plz?

Question

A year ago two days before thanksgiving a woman who was very special to me & was going to marry this year broke my heart in & stabbed me in the back. Not only did she leave me but kept the wedding ring as well. She claims she mailed it by parcel post & that she don't want to keep a 50 cent ring. Since then i lost alot of my confidence. I started changing in ways i never thought possible. I started going to work with dirty & stinky clothes. I started not eating. I would go to work with my hair uncombed & i would not shave. I hated life hated god started to despise women. Sometimes i wish that i would just die already. For the first time in my life i actually was thinking of doing harm to someone. I start being teary eyed or start crying everytime i hear the songs we used to hear together. I hate going to family gatherings b/c i feel like the loser of the family. I'm tired of feeling this way but i honestly don't know what to do anymore. Any help would be appreciated. :-(

Answer 1

I care about what you're going through and it's been a whole year for you! Please seek professionaly help, someone who can write a script for you and give the medication time to work. You're stuck in grief over her. In the meantime, take care of yourself in small ways, as each thing becomes successful add more. Nothing major maybe some of the things you stopped doing since she left. Do yourself or some one else harm won't make you feel better. Suicide will only hurt the ones who love you. She hurt you badly, cry alot, it hurts. Please get help. If we can all feel your pain and care a professional therapist will do you a lot of good. Screw her! Her loss-she's a jerk. God Bless

Answer 2

Life changing events can trigger depression, anxiety and many other negative (or positive) mental states.

I am not sure what your financial situation is, but you should try to see a psychologist. The fact that you are talking about these feelings, that you are expressing them can be such a therapy.

It appears that you lacked confidence even before she left you, however, the fact that she did was just the icing on the cake. That only destroyed any confidence you had left. If you decide to talk to a shrink, you will not only deal with this break-up, but you will also find out why is it that you react a certain way in certain situations.

She does not deserve that you feel like this over her, because I am certain that she has went on with her life. Don't allow for this to destroy your dignity. Seek professional help and be open to other suggestions.

Some people can help them self out of any situation, others can't. Don't be ashamed to ask for help if you need it. The fact that you are avoiding your familiy does not help either. You parents and siblings (if any) love you and want nothing but the best for you. Being surrounded by people who love you is great therapy and will make you feel good.

Make an effort because it concerns you and not your neighbour. If you don't want to help your self, no body will, however, it sound like you do, so just making one little effort can make a big difference.

I sincerely wich you all the best.

Answer 3

First thing to do is stop beating up on yourself, understand that you did nothing wrong and sometimes these things happen. Break ups are hard, I know because I've gone through a few but Damn Man get back up on the Horse and ride off into the Sunset with a another Smoking Hot Babe. Don't let one bad Apple spoil the whole bunch and lastly and most importantly is Dude your Never a loser unless you are willing to admit you are a loser and keep acting like one. This is just a speed bump in the road of Life. Now with that settled, the next thing you need to do is stop listening to the same music, I'd switch over to Sat Radio, and start Jammin my butt off to anything but what you used to listen to together. Use the Music to your benefit, talk to your Dr. it might be best if they put you on Wellbutrin or Lexapro until the thoughts of pain or hurting people pass. Good Luck

Answer 4

Try not to internalize all of this. Her actions are a reflection on her, not on you. The fact that she left doesn't make you a loser. Having said that, you are on a destructive path right now, and you are the only person that can take the initiative to make it better. It might mean you have to force yourself, but maybe start with your clothes and appearance. How can you have any confidence if you know you look as bad as you feel? Other people can sense that type of thing and may start to treat you differently, which will only end up hurting you. Get counseling if you think it will help, or get involved with things outside of work. But do something, even if it's small, to get out of your routine. If you wait for someone to change this for you, you'll be waiting a very long time. Please keep your head up. I wish you the best and hope you get to feeling better.

Answer 5

If you're seriously thinking of harming someone, then you should probably go talk to someone, a counselor, or preacher..I think that you're just grieving. Many,many people have gone through what you're going thru now. I've been there, and I made it. You just have to rest up, and try to find the good things. But mainly tell yourself that you are a good person, and that you deserve to be happy. You may feel like you have no control over your life right now, so look for the things that you DO have control over, like your appearance. Start there and you'll soon see that you'll get control over the bigger things as well. Get a box and put anything that reminds you off your "ex" into it, don't throw it away, just get it out of site. Go to EVERY function that you get invited to. I went to a friends wedding..they sat a girl next to me and said "here talk to Howlnwoof, he's nice" ..now we're married and I'm just stunned how my life turned around, so I know it will happen to you too!

Answer 6

As soon as possible, schedule a couple of days that you can be by yourself and get the book Feeling Good or When Panic Attacks by David Burns. Plan on eating right, doing some simple chores around the house, & read and do the exercises (in the books) as much as you can. You can learn to "talk back" to your negative thoughts (I doubt you're the "loser of the family") and become more realsitic. Everyone has been dumped at one time or another, and you'll always have YOU so you might as well be your own best friend & be good to yourself!

Answer 7

First and forthmost you need to recgonize that there is life going on around you. You need to talk to someone and now! Just think that the person you may harm maybe on their way home to their child or on the way to the hospital to visit their cancer suffering mother. I know you probably loved her very much and would have done anything for her but she has moved on and you need to realize that. Karma will come around to her. You can take her to court for the ring if you spent a lot of money on it and if you want it back that badly. Just start off slowly by renewing yourself. Take it one day at a time, for example, wear clean clothes, then wash your hair, then start to go out to a bar or restaurant with a friend once a night. Before you know it you'll be happier. God doesn't have anything to do with her choice to leave you. Be the bigger and better person and realize she is a very low person. Good luck.

Answer 8

I am so sorry to hear that happened to you. That is terrible. But people go through things like this every day. You can't rely on someone else to make you happy. You need to start putting more focus on you and what makes you happy. You also need to get all of the things in your life that are bringing you down out of your life. For me, when I am feeling down I help other people. It always lifts my spirits and makes me feel better about being me. I use the saying "When in need, sow a seed." Which just means when you are lacking for something in your life try fulfilling the needs of someone else. It sounds crazy but it really does work. Just don't give up. You are not a loser, seeing as how God doesn't make junk!! Take control of your life back. You have the power to do it you are just choosing not to use it. If you could use some help getting started in the process you could speak with your doctor about getting on some anti-depressants. They won't fix your life but they will make it possible for you to be in the right frame of mind to fix it yourself. I wish you the best of luck, and again I am really sorry to hear that happened to you.

Answer 9

It sounds like you've been through an extremely difficult time in the past year, so I commend you on "keeping on" so far. I encourage you to continue trying to take care of yourself. I think the woman did a real number on you and that's why you're struggling. You trusted her so it's understandable! It might be very difficult to figure out how to carry on without her, but that's what you need to do. Somehow, I implore you, please find a way to resolve this situation peacefully with yourself. Talking with someone who knows how to deal with your situation (friends and family mean well, but they don't always know how to help). Breakups are similar to deaths in that you lose someone very dear to you, but other people seem to think you should just get over it. You have said things that indicate to me that you are DEFINITELY suffering some kind of a mental illness. Don't let me telling you that make you feel bad, you said it yourself and recognizing the problem is half the solution! Don't just let your doctor write you a prescription and send you off. Prescriptions on their own do NOT work. Counselling is the best approach. Seek some kind of ongoing talking with someone who knows how to help. It may be hard to get the right help, but don't give up. Help is out there and because you've come this far and are already looking, you're already on the road to feeling better!

Answer 10

Aren't you glad you did not marry this person. You would have had to live with someone like her. You were blessed and you just haven't seen it yet.
I have been in your place except, I had been married to this man for 20 years, had two children and had to divorce him because I found out he had run around on me for the entire 20 years. I have been VERY depressed. It takes time and effort and a good doctor to pull you back into yourself again.
I wish you all the luck. Keep busy and see your general Dr.