Ladies, what would you do? I am open to all suggestions. At my age, 40 something, I have zero family members, young or old, except my 3 children, and no friends who live close enough to attend a wedding. I did not have a wedding with my first husband and would really like to do "something" this time around that is worth taking some photos of! He has family and friends to invite, l literally have 3 people to send an invite to and I already know 2 of those won't come the distance. He would like a ceremony, too.
If we do a traditional church wedding there will be 100 people on the groom's pews and probably 2 on mine... ugh! Is there a way around this? Different setting, venue layout, I'm willing to listen.
Thanks ahead for any advice, I want to enjoy the day not have it rubbed in my face there is no one there who even knows me.
ps- My 3 children would be the two bridemaids and an usher, that is my total contribution to the wedding "party".
2006-10-23 05:28:17 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Thanks to everyone who took the time to answer, LOTS of great ideas. I really appreciate it!
2006-10-23 10:09:01 · update #1
No one says your ushers have to seat on a brides side/grooms side layout. Simplest solution, have your ushers seat both sides equally.
If you are in a location where the seating is rearrangable, consider a seating layout that doesn't have a central aisle, and different entry point for you. For example, if it's an outdoor wedding, put all the seats in one "block" and you can come down an angled path towards the "alter".
A stair way can make a dramatic entrance for a bride as well - perhaps you can look for a venue where you come down a stairway in veiw of all the guests, thus eliminating the need for the central aisle that "divides" the guests.
Oh, and don't forget you may have co-workers would like to attend (if you like them, that is)
2006-10-23 05:41:10 · answer #1 · answered by Chris H 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your wedding sounds much like mine...I'm from a small family with a lot of people overseas or unable to travel. My husband has a huge family all nearby. He had about 60 guests, I think I may have had 10 at the ceremony (including some of my dad's coworkers). We ended up doing balanced seating. I didn't see a point to a bride/groom section. No one cared at all, and it gave everyone a chance to meet each other. I also think that since you're all about to become a family, the divide really doesn't make that much sense. (my priest agreed)
At the reception we had free seating since it was pretty much a family reunion for his side. I found it worked much better that way. People that probably would not have mingled otherwise had a great time talking to each other.
I had my mom as my MOH, my brother as an usher, and my sis cut the cake. Both my parents walked me down the aisle (my DH parents did the same for him). That was about it for my family being involved, so don't feel bad. It's your marriage that is the important part.
2006-10-23 12:49:15 · answer #2 · answered by Sativa 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I had the same problem at my wedding. Only 4 of my guests could attend and 120 of my husbands guest could attend. To avoid the lopsided look, we were married outdoors at a park. We arranged all the chairs in rows with no aisle between them, I came down from the side and up to the altar. Everyone could see great and no lopsided pews. Also, if your wedding has under 100 guests, you could get married in a hall or a park and have the guests stand, except for the older guests, and form a semicircle around you and your fiance. It's very intimate and a wedding ceremony only lasts 10-15 minutes, so nobody will be ncomfortable standing. Good luck!
2006-10-23 15:02:56 · answer #3 · answered by Courtney C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One wedding site we really liked (before we decided to go outdoors) was an Embassy Suites hotel that was just beautiful. It had a waterfall and bridges and stuff in the courtyard. The courtyard was surrounded on three sides with hotel rooms, one side with the lobby, and open air above to the glass roof like 7 stories up. One of the seating arrangements they could do was circular, all facing the gazebo. I thought it was really cute, actually, and then you don't have to worry about anyone's "side" of the venue.
I agree that a destination wedding is a plausible alternative, but not because of guest ratios or anything like that. Rather, I think that you have the best pictures when you go to a destination wedding. You said that you'd like something worth having pictures of, and I think that's absolutely valid. Don't skimp on a photographer or a place to take beautiful pictures. Check out the link below to see pictures of my wedding that we had in the desert outside Las Vegas. We literally had 3 people there, my parents and one of my two sisters. His parents were un-able to attend because they still had small children to look after. You know what though? It was great, we loved it, and we have better wedding pictures than most people I know who've gotten married recently.
2006-10-23 13:42:09 · answer #4 · answered by calliope320 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't have any friends or acquaintances from work to invite?
No friends in your neighborhood? I'm sure you have people you CAN invite - perhpas you just need to sit down & think about it.
As far as having a ceremony, why not rent a local ballroom or banquet room somewhere nice & have if not a preacher marry you, then a magistrate of justice of the peace? That way you can
make the setting as intimate (family only) or as elaborate (everybody you both know) as you wish. See about hiring a wedding planner (all jokes aside, if you can find one who knows her stuff, you can have a great wedding & let her take care of details!) to find a location, arrange for flowers, music, etc. Get a professional photographer to take care of the pix so you can have an awesome wedding album. Have your bouquet done in silk so it will be a keepsake. Consider taking a wedding cruise & get married on the ship - that would be a blast!! go on a romantic vacation & get married at a resort - they make the arrangements.
And let's be honest here - if anyone on the grooms' side would "rub your face in it" that you don't have anyone, do you really want to invite that sort of folks to your wedding? Talk it over with your fiancee & see what he wants - make two lists & compare them. Keep what you want & get rid of anything that detracts from the main point - the two of you joining your lives!
Good luck - & congratulations!!
2006-10-23 12:44:01 · answer #5 · answered by pumpkin 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Congratulations on your upcoming marriage!
If you would like to have a traditional church wedding, go ahead! You don't have to seat guests on the "bride's" or "groom's" side of the church - you can have your usher(s) seat people as they arrive, alternating sides. That way, you everyone is also seated closer to the ceremony, which is nice.
You could also have a small, private wedding ceremony for just you, your groom and your children (and his, if he has any) and follow that with a great party that includes everyone.
2006-10-23 12:42:43 · answer #6 · answered by TraciS 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Do not feel bad. It's not a contest of equity. It's a joyous celebration.
I really think that sitting on the bride or grooms side is a thing of the past so just tell the ushers to leave the first row or two for family and bring the rest in first come first serve. As for the brides maids verses groomsmen...this is such a silly practice of making them "escorts." Have them walk out on their own like they came in. Or have 2 guys to a chick. Whatever works.
2006-10-23 12:56:21 · answer #7 · answered by adieu 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
have the wedding ceremony you desire but instruct the men that you choose for groomsmen that there is no "bride's side" and "groom's side" that you want them to " seat guests as evenly as possible. Have your family that attends, sit in the front on the traditional "bride's side" so that they are in their place of honor.
This gives you a chance to get to know your "new" family as well. Nobody will rub your face in anything, they will be overjoyed to meet the bride of someone they care about. Take advantage of the celebration to get to know new people... friends and family alike.
If you wish to balance out your wedding party have your groom choose two groomsmen and an usher. That way you have 2 ushers (recommended for 100 people) and your attendants have escorts to walk them back up the aisle. :) Otherwise if he has more you can have 2 guys escort each lady, or have them all walk singularly back up the aisle. :) Its your day, customize it to fit you..... not you to fit it.
If you need further help in your planning feel free to email me.
2006-10-23 12:53:40 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I say have the ceremony that you want. I know at my wedding my family and friends sat on the grooms side too and were actually pretty scattered. No one thought any different about where they sat. Also, my mom's aunt (in her 50s) was married a few months before we were. We have a large family but the groom only had a few friends. Someone stood at the back and to the guests to sit whereever they like. Both sides were filled evenly.
2006-10-23 13:32:57 · answer #9 · answered by rdnkchic2003 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the church or place where the ceremony will take place has
a middle row of seating, then place everyone that comes in the middle row. Just tell the ushers not to ask relation to either the Bride or Groom. I think this will solve the problem. Good Luck...
2006-10-23 12:50:28 · answer #10 · answered by roeskats 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋