I'm not an insecure person. So why is it that when I have something good, I'm always worried I will lose it ?

Question

And what can I do to stop worrying about it so much?

Answer 1

i have the same problem. you use worrying as a defense mechanism but in reality worrying does not defend you from anything. it just makes you more anxious. to me, worrying is kind of like trying to grasp hold of a fog - the tighter you try to squeeze, the more energy and time you waste, and you do not gain anything in return.

anyway, it seems like you could use some cognitive psychotherapy to change your thought patterns. or, you could just help yourself and really pay attention to your thought patterns and when you find yourself worrying, change your thoughts. it sounds easy, but don't get discouraged if you find out that it is pretty tough.

good luck.

Answer 2

I was in the same boat... remember jealousy and insecurity has nothing to do about your trust in someone it has everything to do about how you feel about yourself. I had an ex cheat on me and as you can imagine it destroyed my confidence. I've dated girls after her and experienced the same jealous and insecure emotions that you're experiencing. The girls changed over the years but the feelings always remained. It took me a while to figure out that it was all coming from my low self-esteem and broken confidence. Well after some personal intervention methods to re-gain my confidence I now feel much more comfortable in relationships. Just believe you are a beautiful young woman who has a lot going for her and the guy you're with is damn lucky to have you and you'll see what I'm talking about. Hope this helped, Best of luck to you...

Answer 3

Trust.

The more you try NOT to worry about something more your going to worry.

My guess is, you've lost good things before?

The thing is you survived, and have gotten good things again.

Now a tougher thought:

If its your family you're worried about losing. It goes double, love and care for them each day, never part without saying you love them. In the end that is really all you can do.

You do have to have certain element of faith that worst-case- scenario; you will be down but not broken. You have to think of how they would want you to respond and survive.

Answer 4

Depends what your talking about. But if you say your not insecure, why are you always worrying?? Maybe you are insecure. Or maybe your "gut" is trying to tell you something and your not listening - or don't want to listen...

How to stop: Relax and go with the flow - more importantly trust your instincts, you have them for a reason...

Answer 5

You are a somewhat insecure. You have to focus more on enjoying the things you enjoy, rather than worrying you will lose them. Just make a conscience effort to be more positive, and try to meditate for about 5 minutes each day, it will relax you immensely.

Answer 6

This is an excellent question I feel exactly the same way, I think its lack of positive reinforcement and perhaps a devastating loss at a young age too. Try not to sabotage yourself- be careful of that too. Also recognizing is the best step, now just try to tell yourself you do deserve wonderful things start with the small first and build yourself up.
Good luck.

Answer 7

in my opinion its just normal paranoia...i mean if something is going good its normal to worry about losing it..but be careful because if you cling too tightly and make it a big deal you ARE going to lose control. I am the same way i get worried with every good thing that comes my way, but in eventuality you'll be fine.. just dont worry too much, worrying doesnt get you anywhere but in trouble...

Answer 8

I don't know maybe you have lost things in the past, and this could be why you feel this way...remember eve the very thing you fear to lose, even that can be taken away...when you realize, and accept the things you have, you may also lose you will let go of this fear, stop worrying.

Answer 9

We are environmentally taught from a young age about negativity. It is well ingrained. Some of our first words are: No, Don't, Stop. Even a free thinking individual has trouble getting past the negative approach. Self empowerment with the tools (visualization, meditation, affirmation) of your own consciousness would be a good place to start.

Answer 10

Because although you may feel secure in yourself you are insecure concerning things over which you have no control.

The fact is that all things on earth shall pass away. Empires fall and vanish; all people die; things break and get stolen; and so forth.

You are attached to things and therefore fear losing them, attributing to them some value of "good" and wanting them to last forever--and you fear that you will be a poorer person as the result of their passing from your life. That is, you are looking at what is IN your life and believing that it IS your life.

What you can do to stop worrying is to realize that everything you see will one day pass away, that you own nothing and that whatever is around you is temporarily yours; and be grateful for what you have and be willing to lose it since its loss is inevitable. Acceptance of the fact that all will go is the beginning to freedom from attachment.

The living God--if you seek him, find him, and enter into a relationship with him--can loosen your grasp on things that are temporal by teaching you that what will go has no value in and of itself. He will also teach you what endures for eternity. It has been my experience that my relationship with God removes my faith in "things," and I therefore have come to regard them as simple tools that do not, and will not ever, belong to me. My life is centered upon what does last--which is the Word of God and his Spirit.