My boyfriend of 6 months is 20 years older than me. Does anyone think this will cause a problem of any kind in the future. I have no children and he has two...one of which is older than me. I am 29 and he is 49. We get along great, we don't have many disagreements and if so we can handle them fairly well. Please help me decide if this is healthy or not.
2006-10-23 04:31:29 · 24 answers · asked by Vanessa 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
No, as long as you love him, that's all that matters.
2006-10-23 04:33:47 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It might seem all fun now. He is still "young". What are you going to do when you are 49 and he is 69? My husband and I just put his Dad in an assisted living place because he has dementia. His Dad is 70. We took care of him the best we could for as long as we could, but his mind is gone. Dementia and Altzimers (not sure of the spelling) are big problems with older people. It is just something to think about. At 49 you have your life pretty well in order. My husband is 44 and I'm 38 and I can tell the age gap sometimes. How does his kids feel about him dating someone so much younger? My grandfather married a younger woman and his first family kids stopped talking to him (at least for many years).
One more thing....I hope he will still be able to get it up when he is older. Guys loose that too with age.
2006-10-23 11:42:53 · answer #2 · answered by hard rock girl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, what is healthy for you is only for you to know but listen he has lived his life while yours is just beginning. think about it if you want to have kids he will be around 60 something at your childs graduation, is he up for that. I mean you must ask yourself what it is that your want and are you two on the same page? Make sure that you are if so then great but get ready for the dates that will come over when your child is grown and think he is the grandfather! just kidding hahaha follow your heart its the best indicator of how you really feel sometimes your mind and your heart are saying two different things and people are telling you other things and then everything gets confused. Take a day to yourself and go somewhere and think because everyday you spend with the wrong man (if he is the wrong man) is everyday you will spend without the right one!
2006-10-23 11:39:06 · answer #3 · answered by ask me again 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As someone who has been in this, I can say yes it will matter. I married a woman 15 years older than me. I was 19 and she 34. It was fine at first, and we were great to begin with, but we are now 32 and 47 and at much different places in our lives and it is no longer working. It might be different for you being the man is older. . . .
2006-10-23 11:41:06 · answer #4 · answered by InTheGroove 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make sure that you and the child your age get along well and do not expect someone your own age to call you Mom.
My wife is 15 years older than me and it does not make any difference. Neither of us had any children when we met and in fact we still do not have children.
Age only matters when you have an obvious generational gap. Some people see the world only based upon their age group, while others see the world much more broadly.
Take care,
Troy
2006-10-23 11:39:01 · answer #5 · answered by tiuliucci 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I see nothing wrong or unhealthy about age differences in relationships. The problem is whether it's practical or not. Think about where your life is headed and where his life is headed. Do you share similar goals and interests? Where do you see yourself in ten years? What about him? If you feel that in ten years, when he's 60 and you're 40 your lives might be heading in completely different directions, than think twice about making a long-term commitment. Now things might be great, but even if you were the same age, people and circumstances change over time and you might not be so compatible. Also, think about kids. Do you wanna have kids with him? That's also something to weigh in...
2006-10-23 11:40:15 · answer #6 · answered by Nestor Q 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
uh yea it will cause many problems i dated an older guy of 5 years for 3 months and then the disagreenments broke out its just a matter of tyme
2006-10-23 11:34:32 · answer #7 · answered by paige brutal 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My fiance is 11 years younger than I am. He has four kids, I have two plus a grandson. Age doesn't matter at all as long as you're both of legal age and you love each other.
2006-10-23 11:42:59 · answer #8 · answered by drammy22 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Age is only a number as long as both of you are adults.What matters is the man if you both are happy whats the matter.just a little note reminds me of what my Mom use to say i would rather be a old mans darling than a young mans fool LOL
2006-10-23 11:36:08 · answer #9 · answered by luckiestarrr 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It truly depends, there may come a time that you may want children. He already has children. Would he want more? All I can say is time will reveal. Pay attention to signs in the relationship. Then judge what is best for yourself.
2006-10-23 11:40:58 · answer #10 · answered by seekleer 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, our society judges based on age, which is unfair in many realms, not just relationships. Also, sadly, some people when looking for a relationship, judge someone on age, and not who they are.
I can only say that I think it's great that you and your significant other are not letting society determine your happiness.
2006-10-23 11:37:45 · answer #11 · answered by der_bingle 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋