How do i tell her i feel excluded?

Question

My aunt is 6 years older than me i'm 18. we've known each other a year and i've only seen her once so the most we do is speak on the phone. at first i was hesitant to share personal things with her but then i started opening up i would tell her about my mother, boys, my best friend and any other issues. but i notice that when i tlk to her she never shares anything with me and she told me i'm part of her life but i feel like all she does is tlk to me and get information then she tells my other aunt (her sister) and her friends even. it bothers me because i was sharing what happened in my life trying to make her feel included and the whole time she wan't. i don't see how i'm part of her life when she tells her friends personal things and she expects the things i share with my best friend to be shared with her too. it just hurts because i'm trying to be close and feel aprt of the family but she's making me pull away i even noticed that when she tells me stuff it changes to smthg else

i feel that she takes advantage of my age and since she's my aunt she expects me to come running to tell her everything but because she's older she doesn't have to and if she does when i bring up things she told me she says something different than what she said originally

if we're tlking on the phone i try to get her to tlk by not saying much but whn i ask her whats going on with u she always give me the same answer which is ''nothing''

Answer 1

I think you need to have an honest talk with her about these issues. Ask her why she chooses to not be authentic with you. Ask her what that's all about? Then if you don't like the answer, you might want to back off and stop confiding in her. It sounds as if she's using you. Just because you are 18 doesn't mean you are immature. She actually sounds like the immature one here.

Answer 2

I think she feels you should open up to her because you have already and she may seem like you are seeking advice from her.

Write her a letter and tell her how you feel because for most people, me included, it's easier to put your feelings down on paper so you can organize your thoughts and erase something that you decided was not something you wanted to tell this person.

She feels she is older than you, and she is, so she won't tell you her personal feelings or what's going on in her life that's personal unless you were her same age, a sister or a best friend.

You said you've only known her a year so you want to be careful what you tell her and don't expect her to open up to you. These things will work themselves out in time. Keep in contact with her and when she asks you about family and friends, tell her that everything is fine with them and then ask her how things are going there.

Then just talk about random stuff. Tell her what you been doing and ask her the same. What did you do exciting today? How's the family doing? Stuff like that.

Answer 3

Tell her exactly what you've said here, then stop talking to her. If she's sincere about wanting to get to know you, she'll respect your feelings and stop being so thoughtless.

My honest opinion is that she's blowing a real opportunity with you. She's already proved that she's unworthy of you, even as a family member. If she were a friend, you probably would have dumped her by now. It doesn't matter that she's family; she should still treat you with common courtesy, sensitivity and respect.

Your instincts are right, and you deserve better. After you've told her how you feel, don't contact her again. She has to prove she's worthy of you. You've already demonstrated you're a good niece.

Answer 4

Trust your instincts. I know it is hard when someone you feel that should be able to trust betrays your feelings, but your internal alarms are going off for a good reason.

Yes, she is older and should know better and be a good friend to you as you are blood relations, but that does not mean she will be. Trust your instincts.

Answer 5

Tell here verything you wrote on here.