My biological father last week told me that he would no longer be a part of my life if I continued to date outside my race (white I assume). Thing is...he's half white and half Puerto Rican and told me only to date white men. I like a variety of different people because when it all comes down to it, its only our character inside that counts. He said he refuses to have a mulatto grandchild. Yes the majority of men I date are black, and yes I did grow u in the ghetto (with only my mother, no father around). Aren't fathers suppose to be around regardless of who someone is dating no matter one's skin color?
2006-10-23 04:14:09 · 28 answers · asked by jacqueline6001 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
If it were a perfect world, fathers WOULD be around. Perhaps if he were around, he might have more of a say in the matter. However, what he is imploring you to do is completely bigoted, racist and especially CONTROLLING. It is your life, my dear. You have to live with the decisions you make. He hasn't been around, and will not always be around. Then where will you be if you gave up true happiness because he didn't approve? We are put here to create families of our own, and if you find a man who loves you, you love, and he treats you right, then he is the one for you. If we were all blind, what would be the difference? I have dated men of many different ethnic groups. There are always a certain type we are all attracted to, just like hair color, broad shoulders, whatever.
What are we in, 1950?? He has old ignorant views. Be proud you have blurred the lines between colors. Your child will be accepted in today's world, regardless of color. Times have changed, thank god, and only the ignorant still have a problem with mixed races. Do you need someone like that in your life?
A child is a child - not a color.
Bless you, and good luck.
www.myshininglight.com
2006-10-23 04:30:01 · answer #1 · answered by Shining Light 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Dating outside of ones race will certainly have some implication that have to be considered. Does your father really mean that he would turn his back on you for dating someone who is of another race or not. How much a part of your life is your Father. Which is more important to you. These are the things that you will have to decide. If he is mearly uncomfortable with the idea or is he really a racist.
As to marriage and having children that is another decision. Mixed race children are quickly excepted by good families because all children a wonderful additions to any family.
For now just do what you think is right and the rest will fall into place just as it should.
2006-10-23 04:45:43 · answer #2 · answered by Kenneth H 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all I don't feel it is wrong to date people of different races. I really don't think God cares one way or another either. God is a God of love not judgment. Maybe your father had a hard time growing up being mixed and he doesn't want the same for you or your children. Then again he may still be stuck in the past and it was taboo? Don't disown the man though....pray for him and love him. He may come around. If he doesn't....be there for what ever part of the relationship he will allow or how much of one.
2006-10-23 04:24:05 · answer #3 · answered by kizkat 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen whether you agree with your father or not you need to listen to him out of respect. He has probably seen more in his life time and he really only wants what is best for you. The last thing you want to do is to bring an interracial child into this world. That child going to school and growing up will be subjected to unbelievable racial remarks and not being accepted by either race. This is reality. Whether you like it or not. Then the child for whatever reason will have an unbelievable hard time in the real world when they grow up dealing with societal issues. Really out of all this you should at least have a little respect for the child and at least give them a chance to suceed in life. Most interracial relationships, I would say at least 95-99% end in total failure. If you do not believe me talk to your counselors at your local social services. They should tell you the truth and the facts.
2016-03-28 04:58:46 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I find people like your Dad is one reason racism is still alive and kicking. Date whoever you want for whatever reason you want. In the end, it's the person's heart that matters, not the color of someone's skin. Be better than your own father, for he is a hypocrite considering he really isn't "white", although I hate terming anyone by the color of their skin.
2006-10-23 05:11:55 · answer #5 · answered by GirlinNB 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wait, did you say your father is part white and part Puerto Rican and he is telling you this?
Ask him why he started dating your mother. If he decides that he doesn't want to have a mixed race grandchild, ask him how he really feels about you and what he thinks about your background.
Sounds like a hypocrite.
And then you could tell him what a hypocrite is.
Hypocrite - a person who acts in contradiction to his or her stated beliefs or feelings. (or in this case, genetic makeup)
2006-10-23 04:21:11 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Some people will always be old school in their way of thinking. It's kinda sad since we have so much diversity now. Compassion is something we desperately need to hold on to. I would say there is a time in your life when you must make your own decisions based on what you believe. Hopefully your father will come around and not be so closed minded.
2006-10-23 04:19:51 · answer #7 · answered by Lisa 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you cant base your life on your father's opinion especially if you are old enough to take your decisions.
So what if you have a black child? My family is all caucasian (white) and my elder sister adopted 2 beautiful african girls as she cant have her own children. We love them so much and are so happy that they are in our lives. She still finds people who has the same opinion of your father but what the fu** at the end of the day its her life.
And so should you do. Because if your soul mate is not of your same race and you avoid to date him because of your father you can end up miserable and alone.
And i dont think that in 20 yrs or 30 yrs time your dad will be there to fill this emptiness.
2006-10-23 04:19:40 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
People can be ignorant my dad used to say that no daughter of his was going to date a black person and i always told everyone when i grew up i was going to marry one. My dad said it was too hard on the children. I married a hispanic instead but they were fine with that but if i wanted to marry a black man i would and no one would stand in my way. It my choice my life. If your dad really feels that way then let him be maybe you don't want that influence in your life anyways or maybe he will learn to except it and move on. I have several family members that would have a hard time with it but they would just have to except it and go on with their lives. What is important is that the man treats you with respect and love and that you have a wonderful life.
2006-10-24 01:02:08 · answer #9 · answered by mistiful2001 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should consider what your father saying. Also you are right. It is tougher for bi-racial kids. At the same token it is 21st century and there are more and more tolerance for difference. I have no problem with interracial dating or mixed kids. If you find a person you love and respect you it should not matter what race there is. Your father as a father should know that. If his daughter find a person that love her for her and will make a good husband he should not be concern with color.
2006-10-23 04:23:45 · answer #10 · answered by Mrs.Juicy 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋