Alright! I love my boyfriend, we get along great. The only problem is he is addicted to porn.... It's disgusting. He has been since before I met him. I told him how i felt about it and he said he knows he has a problem and he actually deleted all his stuff off of his computer(he had a lot) :( . but now he continues to download and look at it everyday. It bothers me, and I know all guys have and look at porn but i don't think it's normal to download it all the time... We have a healthy sex life and i do sexy stuff all the time, so i don't know...is it me?
2006-10-23 04:11:09 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I'm not trying to change him at all. I like sex, i don't think porn is bad at all... thanks tho to all y'all.
2006-10-23 04:22:20 · update #1
Porn is fine, just like drinking alcohol. It's when it starts to effect other people that it's a problem. Sex addiction is very real and can strain the most loving of relationships. I suggest you try to get him to counseling.
2006-10-23 04:14:30 · answer #1 · answered by brillantnut 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yeah it's normal, I would rather have a b/f who watched some porn than went out there and had sex with someone else. Apparently it's not that they want to be with that particular girl, it's just a visual thing. I also thought it was disgusting, til I watched some with my b/f, now I like it as part of a healthy relationship, not every time, but it has it's place for us anyway.
2006-10-23 04:14:34 · answer #2 · answered by sparkleythings_4you 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Porn is a big impediment to your relationship. It drains sex away from you and throws it away (never a good thing). Worse, it activates the instinct men have for wandering. Part of a man's sexual instinct is to have sex with as many women as possible to give the greatest opportunity for him to pass on his genes to the next generation. This competes with another instinct to invest in one woman and their children to give those children a much greater survival opportunity. A man will naturally follow whichever pattern is most successful. Read that again. A MAN WILL FOLLOW WHICHEVER PATTERN IS MOST SUCCESSFUL.
If your relationship doesn't have the elements of making it highly likely his children with you have the greatest chance of being successful, he will wander. If he has success with wandering, he will bleed energy and effort away from his relationship with you. Porn simulates this success with wandering. Not acceptable from a relationship standpoint. Talking about it is not helpful in the slightest.
What is needed is to cut off the porn at its source. Get rid of the internet connection and if necessary, get rid of the computer. While you are at it, get rid of the TV and VCR. Your relationship will immediately improve if you engage the extra effort and energy released by doing these things. That means two things. You must be a superior lover to him and you must be an obvious good catch as wife and mother (because, if that isn't what you are doing, he will simply dump you).
2006-10-23 04:37:28 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It may be normal for guys to like porn...they are visual beings. I think if he's already admitted he has a problem and you have conveyed your concerns, he shouldn't still be doing it. If he respects your feeling he'll do whatever it takes to make you comfortable as long as your supporting him in any and all efforts he makes as well. Gl girl I hope it all works out for you
2006-10-23 04:17:04 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds as if he might have a sex addiction and can't stop. The big question is: Does he want to stop and do you feel that it's interfering with your relationship? If so, then you might suggest that he go for counseling for this issue...
2006-10-23 04:14:10 · answer #5 · answered by cheyennetomahawk 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let me first say that it is NOT you! People struggle with various temptations in life. This just happens to be his and while you should be strict about not allowing it into your relationship, be patient and understanding with his journey to escape it in his life. As long as he has conviction about it being wrong you should continue to support him. Think outside yourself for a moment and realize it has nothing to do with you and everything to do with his temptation. I'm not sure what yours or his spiritual life is but you both need to pray!
2006-10-23 04:21:55 · answer #6 · answered by sweety 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are the typical ignorant woman ! Why claim that you love your boyfriend, when all you want to do is change him? You may love what you see you would want him to be, but in reality, you dont love him for who he really is ! If this seems harsh or rude, I do not apoligize, because you asked. Check yourself, maybe you can figure out what you really want !
2006-10-23 04:18:05 · answer #7 · answered by Falling to pieces 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As long as it's not child porn, leave him alone--Do you read novels of the Caribbean pirates coming to your house and carrying you away in your flimsy clothes to ravage your naked body.
2006-10-23 04:16:30 · answer #8 · answered by fran t 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you are already giving him everything without him leaving porn behind, what would be his motivation?
If it really bothers you, move on
2006-10-23 04:13:49 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No honey, its not you - guys are very visual. They enjoy looking at porn. I wouldn't worry about it. Its natural.
2006-10-23 04:13:51 · answer #10 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋