what should be done about a 3 year old screaming everywhere you go?

Question

I keep foster kids, and i have a 3year old female daughter, that screams and crys everywhere we go, and refuses to cooperate with anything I ask her to do. I mean screams at the top of her lungs, she also hits on her brothers and just demands ever negitive attenttion available. She is a foster child so I have to handle things a little different. and time outs...........dont work..help

Answer 1

As a foster mom you know any questions about taking care of a foster child should be directed to the social worker.You might benifit from parenting classes also.Not only will you learn how to deal with minor issues like this but it will look good on your record with the children agency.Dont be like most foster moms who dont get perfect kids and get rid of them.Its a pattern that needs to stop.A foster parent cant handle a minor issue and they get rid of the kid then the kid goes to the next foster home and this keeps going on.Its wrong.Thanks for being a foster parent.

Answer 2

Best bet would be to discuss it with your case worker, see if the child has a history of this, and see what the former foster parents have done to remedy it, or if you're the first on then see what your case worker suggests. There is nothing wrong with asking your case worker about it, they'll just see that as strength to know when you can't handle something and rather than beating the child you ask for the help you need from them. It could just be a phase she's going through, and she could have a lot of anger and resentment in her little mind because of what has happened in her life. Your case worker might suggest you take her to a councelor to see if that is the reason she's unmanageable sometimes.

Answer 3

Okay so you need to find some stuff to reward for the positive attention? How about some one on one time with you and go out somewhere not involving other children and doing plenty of praise but still doing the time outs for negative behaviour making sure you get to eye level when dealing with her.And let her see you interacting with the others saying she can join in when she stops screaming and hitting.Probaly the most important thing is to be constant in the time outs or what ever you are doing and dont let it just drop once..if they see a loop hole they run for it lol

Answer 4

Three is a tough age because you cannot reason with them. This may sound simple, but have you tried the bribe way out. For instance when you go out bring somthing the child likes...if she is good she will recieve it after you have finished your chores. You must keep the item in clear site of the child because they forget quickly and need to see it as a reminder. If this does not work perhaps you should consider having the child eat a pop or somthing to keep her mouth busy. I use sugar free gum on my grandson...it is hard to scream with a piece of gum in your mouth...if that doesnt work perhaps leaving the child with someone is the only answer until she gets a little older.

Answer 5

This is one I learned from the "old wives" at the grocery store advising the frazzled mother with her tantrum-throwing toddler.

One strategy is to tell the child everyone is looking at her. While she is apt to come back with a very loud "stop looking at me", the whole idea is to make her aware of the public shame she is bringing on herself. The trick is not to get angry, but just stand there calmly looking at her. The next line is 'why do you want everyone to look at you like this'?

As this is a foster child, you are doubtless aware there may be some difficult psychological disorders, such as attachment disorder in play here, which might render this strategy pointless.

Answer 6

3 yr olds are very difficult. I pretty much was so embarrased of my children crying everywhere.

i would leave her at home with hubby when i needed to go out. She had to suffer the consequence for her actions. I would tell her i would only take her if she was good. Not that she understood that but it may teach her.

anyway i would occasionally take her. It was just much harder for me to take my child. it is impossible to think under those conditions, so i left her with grandma or daddy.

It worked very well for me. Sometimes you will have to take your daughter and remind her to be good and not cry. I always reminded my daughter to be good and i would let her buy something.
this was most effective for me. the point is most of the time she may need to stay with relatives so she can have a temper tantrum without making a scene.

Answer 7

if it was me i would start at home.When she starts screaming at home take her in the room just put her there and sit in with her sit against the door get a book n pretend your reading and ignoring her show that she gets no attention when she behaves like that and do it even if it 50 times a day keep doing it for a least two weeks after two weeks you should see a difference oh ya anyway when she finally stops screaming you can take her by her hand or not n let her out if she starts again go n take her to her room n let her no its a time out and stay with her she has your attention but doesn't realize it keep doing this over n over she might get the meesage.whatever u do don't lock her in her room on her own you have to be with her.when you see this works you can try taking her by her hand and have her in there on her own with door open and keep bringing her back to the room .you have to have time for this good luck.

Answer 8

First, I would make sure that she is okay... medically speaking.
Second, she probably is requiring more alone time with you, by herself. Try making some alone time with just her, asking her what would she like to do just you and her for a little while. Then as you are spending time with her, ask her why does she scream when you are out with the other kids. Let her give you her explanation, start talking to all the kids, spending a little alone time with each one of the children, finding out what is making them happy, and what is making them sad, when all the kids are together. Use all of the things that make them happy together as a family outing tool.

Answer 9

Try the "1-2-3-Magic" method by a Dr. Phaelon (not sure about the spelling). It works with any child from age 2 to teenagers. The method helps you keep calm while stopping obnoxious behavior.

Answer 10

Talk to the social workers, ask for help, she needs something obviously and I can't tell from here. Sounds like some kind of cry for attention. I hope you have patience sounds like you need it God Bless you for being a foster mom I commend you its a huge sacrifice. Good Luck!