Am i normal?

Question

two children under 5. been at home for 4 years. finding it hard and tiresome, knowing what to do with them every day. i do play but find it boring, tend to get angry quickly and silliest things, afer all they are just children. is it me? am i a bad mother or do other mothers feel this way. i'm worried in years to come they will turn round and tell me i was horrible.

Answer 1

If that's the case I'm a bad mum too!!..we all get stressed, you don't abuse them, so stop beating yourself up!!

Answer 2

Oh honey you are very normal. I had my first at 18 and three more right in a row. You are NOT a bad mother. Sometimes we take on roles as mothers and wives or girlfriends and we lose touch with the fact were still women. Don't be discouraged it is never to late to start fresh. I would suggest finding some me time. Even if its 20 minutes in the morning before the kids are up or after they go to bed. Remember some of the things that brought you joy and whatever that is do it and as often as you can. You ll find that as times goes you get more comfortable with who you are and what your responsibilities are.Patience with having kids well every mother struggles with that whether you see it or not. One more quick thing if you do lose your cool apologize, it lets your kids know your human and their feelings count too. Hope this helps
Chas

Answer 3

It just sounds like a lil burn out to me. You could use a break. Do you have family around to give you a hand? You also might want to find out about putting them in day care even if only one day a week to give yourself a lil rest. Your not unusual and I wouldn't be concerned about being a bad mother, you have taken a step to realizing that your wiped out, it happens all the time. Do you get to take them to the park so they can play with other children? Get out and meet people start a club, if you can get close with other moms you can take turns maybe sharing the responsiblilty of watching the kids and get one hour to yourself. Its not easy being a mommy, you have the responsiblity of shaping and molding these two children n helping them grow up to be the best Humans (lol) they can be. Get involved, get some rest GOD BLESS!!

Answer 4

Hi there,

Yes it's normal!Thats something thing that they dont prepare you for in the ante-natal classes. The days of endless mind-numbing playdough and boring toddler groups of mothers who's children are all little darlings, who were walking from 6 weeks old.

I remember it well, and was slowly going into an emotional melt-down until I discovered college courses and FREE childcare!
I made some new friends who didnt talk endlessly about their bloody kids, got some new qualifications and as a result a job when my little cherubs went to fulltime school.

Hang in there, it doesnt last forever, just wait for the teenage years when it doesnt matter what you do, they will hate you anyway haha, only joking.

If its all getting too much, here's a website for Mums like us:
http://www.badmothersclub.co.uk.

Answer 5

I used to get that way, and still can easily frustrate at time over petty things.
I have been home 5 years now.
I make time for myself. I go to the gym.
Or sometimes just leave the children at home with husband and go look around the stores.

With the children I set up play dates this way they entertain themselves, and play with toysd and each other, and me and other mothers can sit down drink coffee or tea, and gab for a few hours.

find something that makes you happy.
Youll be a better you!
not a bad mother either!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 6

Why dont you look into working somewhere part time.

If you havent anyone to look after the children during the day, find a job for few hours a week that works round your partners hours.

You sound like you need adult conversation, you're more than just a mother, you're a human being and need to feel like it!

There's nothing wrong with working whilst you've got children.

Just dont worry!!!

Answer 7

I wont pretend to know the ins and outs of parenting as I am not a parent.

However, what I do know is that it is important to look after yourself, which includes taking time for yourself to do what you want without having to worry about heafty responsibilities.

Your not superhuman, do your best to take some time for yourself to allow yourself to relax and maintain your personal identity or else you may end up over-stressed, over-worked and with no other identity than "mother".

I hope that was not patronising at all, it is very easy to come across that way especially when talking from an outside perspective such as myself.

Answer 8

yes youre normal! i have three children 5 and under and dont find it paticularly hard but boring yes,ive been home since the eldest was born and miss adult conversation at times,i do find it difficult to spend quality time playing with my children but always have lots of things for them to do,but they do tend to follow me around the house looking for attention and i get angry then feel guilty,especially as the older two are now at school and dont see them for hours each day,which is really hard but i make sure i have time to talk to them about what they have done,they always tell me they love and missed me so cant be too bothered by me getting angry at them,you are not a bad mother and lots of mothers feel this way,try to sit down each night and ask the children what they enjoyed about their day and what they would like to do the next day,if you feel really bad about things you could speak to your health visitor as you do sound a little low,good luck with things!

Answer 9

Sounds like you could do with a bit of time for yourself,....remember, yopu are only human. Cooped up with only children to talk to (even if they are your own) will eventually drive anyone to a shart fuse. Why dont you consider putting your children in nursry a couple of mornings a week to give yourself some space, it will also help them develope social skills with kids their own ages. You could also think about getting a part time job during this time - it sounds lika all you really need is some adult interaction.
Dont beat yourself up, you werent born a Mummy, and are still an individual in your own right.

Answer 10

You are absolutely normal, don't beat yourself up. Some people have a natural affinity for playing with children, others don't. Personally, I feel it's important for children to learn to entertain themselves to some extent otherwise they just can't cope without constant stimulus. Try to get some time to yourself, you deserve it. As for them turning round in years to come and telling you you were horrible, I think it's far more likely they'll tell you how lucky they were to have a mother who could stay at home with them.

Answer 11

It's normal to get tired and frustrated while staying home with the kids. Sounds to me like you need to find some time for yourself. Find a babysitter for a couple of hours, or ask your husband to take over and give you a break for a while. I've been in your situation. And in my experience, just a couple of hours on my own with no kids made all the difference. And by the time I got back, I enjoyed playing with them ten times more.