:-( my relationship with my mom is like the balance. sometimes good(up), sometimes bad(down). i do love her alot... but i really can't trust her like i really would want to. she gives me reasons to dont do it, like if i share something with her, she just can't save it for herself and tells my god mother, my aunt, this people, etc.... sOoo and pLus she's extremely negative which she calls reality..
i dont understand why shes like that. for example, i went my HOUSE last weekend (im living with my aunt right now) and she started yelling at me sayin to dont eat too much when i wasnt even eating, to clean the house, to do this and to act like that, ... and i asked for something and she told me like " you better dont take it with you"... i was like WTF.....
so shes like this with me, im like that with her cuz her fault.. but i dont want to be like that... what can i do???
2006-10-23 03:34:33 · 20 answers · asked by *live,laugh,love* 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Your mother may not be ready for all the responsibilites of parenthood... that's why she acts that way and you have to live with your aunt. you can't do anything to change the way she acts, unfortunanatly. just do what she says, as far as cleaning or whatever. it will make things easier on you in the long run. and stop sharing things with her, she has proven she can't be trusted. if she ever asks you why you won't tell her something... tell her why.
2006-10-23 04:25:46 · answer #1 · answered by Crazy dog lady 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm going to assume that you have already told your mother how she makes you feel, if you haven't, that would be your first step.... she may honestly not realize what she is doing. (As hard as it is to believe, some people are that clueless)
There is some good times that you have with your mother, so all is not lost. Just make sure that YOU set up rules for the time that you will be spending with your mother. You already know that she can't keep a secret, so stop telling her anything that you don't want the rest of the family finding out. If you don't have someone else to talk to right now about those things, start a journal, it will be better than keeping everything bottled up inside you.
You have to realize that some people are just negative and nothing that you can do will change that. It may be they aren't happy with they're own life, so they have to point out the negative in everyone else's so they don't feel so alone. It's good that you realize what she is doing. Next time she says something negative to you, either (1)ignore it, or (2) tell her all the positive. You can say something along the lines of "I realize that life is not always wonderful and that things can go wrong, but right now things(or insert whatever good thing here) is happening in my life and I choose to enjoy it and do what I can to make sure it stays like that. If something bad happens I'll deal with it then, but until then I'm not even going to think about things that I have no control over."
Maybe in time your mother will change from your influence, but until then realize that as unfortunate as it is you do not have the typical mother-child relationship.
Best of luck to you.
2006-10-23 10:51:19 · answer #2 · answered by MELISSA B 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you should sit down & have a very serious talk with her about how you feel. And the way she makes you feel when she does those things. She might not even realize that shes treating u like that. Or maybe thats the way she was treated growing up so she thinks its ok. Talk to her, its the only way to get it all out on the table & let her know how you feel. Good Luck & take care
2006-10-23 10:40:58 · answer #3 · answered by lori 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
don't feel too bad, my mom is the same exact way and it drives me crazy, all the time!!!!!!!! The up and down balance is maybe shes bi-polar. My mom is constantly saying that I told her this or that, when I know for a fact I didn't say anything. Right now she has told my ex to send her my child support for my daughter because she told him 2 months ago that I'm irresponsible and spend it on my drinking instead of my daughter, which isn't true. She just wants the money so she can go to bingo and give my younger brother money without my dad knowing. So don't feel too bad, i'm in the same boat as you!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2006-10-23 10:40:39 · answer #4 · answered by Debrah L 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know its difficult, you are going through things and she may be also. Sometimes it could be the way she was raised and it affects the relationship. You may need to say a prayer before you see her, just ask God to make it peaceful and that somehow you can understand each other better. I may not be of much help but I will say a prayer for you and your mom.
2006-10-23 10:39:45 · answer #5 · answered by rzblossom 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sounds as if you need a good kick up the back side you sound to me like a spoilt child who likes all her own way grow up and act your age not your shoe size your mother is your best friend try respecting her you youngsters to day get it to easy one day your mum wont be here for you and who are you going to find fault in then you have gone to live with your aunt and now you are finding fault in her why don't you look at your faults instead of finding fault in everyone else grow up get of your butt and do a bit of house work do a bit of cooking and sort your self out you only get one mother
2006-10-23 16:38:48 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you just explained to everyone precisely why you live with your aunt and not your mother.
She is probably like that because she loves you but doesn't know when mothering becomes smothering.
You can try explaining how you feel - it may or may not work. In time your Mum may realise she has not been the best, and indeed you yourself may not necessarily be an angel.
If she is telling everyone whatever you confide in her, then my advice would be to confide in someone you CAN trust to keep it to themselves.
2006-10-23 10:41:01 · answer #7 · answered by steven b 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Communication might be the key. She probably is difficult to speak with, but attempt. Sit her down when you see her in a good mood, and talk to her about the things that bother you about her. And if you are brave enough, ask her what bothers her about you. Maybe if you get it out in the open you can both work on it. If that doesn't work, don't stoop to her level and be mean, just be relaxed and patient.
2006-10-23 10:38:16 · answer #8 · answered by Fran Y 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It really sounds bad... I think you should talk to your mother. I know that most of the people have an up and down relationships with their parents, but I think that this is way beyond up and down.
Talk to her, tell her how you feel, and maybe things will get better.
2006-10-23 10:39:23 · answer #9 · answered by Alice_d 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she is not on drugs then it sounds like your mom is under alot of stress and maybe, you play a big part in it. How old are you? If you are in your teens, it is STRESS. This is when you expect for your mom to be your friend but she know that she has to be a parent before a friend. Teens don't understand
2006-10-23 10:57:57 · answer #10 · answered by Tricia 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋