This weekend my daughter was spending time over my cousin's house while I was running errands. She wanted something to eat so she used the microwave to heat up something. She put it in there for too long and it burned. It produced a lot of smoke in the house. So when me and my cousin arrived at the house, we didn't know why there was so much smoke. She had gotten rid of the evidence. So we called 911 and summoned the fire dept. They couldn't find anything. I asked several times during all this if she attempted to cook anything and she flat out lied. The fireman then found the burnt peice of whatever it was in the trash. She then decided to tell the truth. I was so angry that I couldn't spank her because I would have beat the s*** out of her. So I removed myself from the room to calm down. Now I want her to remember what the hell she did and know that there are serious consequences for lying and causing problems of that nature. Please give me some unique ideas.
2006-10-23 03:13:10 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
I have a 10 year old daughter, if she lies to her dad or I, she gets a spanking. Lying is one of our core rules, it betrays the trust between you and her.
I think you did great by not spanking her in so much anger, but go with your instinct to spank her now that your calmed. If my daughter pulled this, she would have pants pulled down and laying over my (or dads, even worse, lol) lap for a good long time. Don't take your daughter's actions personally, like it's your fault she did such a thing, remember she is young and still learning, she will do dumb things from time to time. It's your job to now create a consequence to such a action. That is where spanking comes in.
Good Luck
Hang in there.
2006-10-23 22:44:52 · answer #1 · answered by olschoolmom 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Definitely calm down. The fact that she lied to you about this really is not the biggest concern here. She called the fire department. Shouldnt she get credit for that? It's not like she was playing with matches and caught something on fire. She was cooking in the microwave. It's much better than making it on the stove, and how often does something happen with the microwave?
She lied because she was scared. Maybe you should be mad at yourself because she feels like she can't tell you the truth. She knew that you would blow up (like you obviously did when you found out) and she didn't want you to "beat the s*** out of her" as you so eloquently put it.
It's good that you removed yourself so that you wouldnt hit her, but seriously, in this case, a spanking isnt the answer. (And no, I am not against spanking, just not for all punishments.) She only needs to be punished for not telling the truth. Not anything harsh, but you should also soften up and talk to her about how she CAN tell you anything and that you are sorry that you made it seem like she can't.
And thank God everyone is okay and the house wasnt on fire.
2006-10-23 03:30:08 · answer #2 · answered by Barbi 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Well, first off..Thank goodness everyone is ok. The microwave thing, she was probably scared when the fireman showed up, and also probably embarrassed. Not escusing anything, just a possible explanation for her failure to own up. Well, you could look up news articles about kids that have started house fires online maybe? And show them to her.
Sit down and explain to her how people have died in house fires doing something as simple as leaving food cooking, unattended. Maybe see if a there is one of those traveling fire safety things going on anywhere near you, where they actually let the kids go through a smoky house..? Maybe the experience of having to be in a smoke filled house (under the fireman's supervision, of course) would wake her up a little.
Also let her know the very act of putting anything hot or that was on fire in the trash can start a fire too! I'm sorry, I don't think this was all that helpful. Good luck.
2006-10-23 03:23:13 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
First. Do you usually punish by spanking her? She may be afraid of the spanking itself, maybe it is a little harder than you realize and actually hurts her. Second> she must be afraid of your temper as you said, "would have beat the s** out of her", maybe you lose control. Third. Why could she not eat at the other house? and why did you leave her whe she was hungry? II would set down with her and ask her why she lied, and do it calmly, and not be all upset and aggressive when you do. Just explain how dangerous it could be and she does not have to lie. If she is afraid of you now, she will do whatever she needs to later to get away from you, and will get into other things that are musch more dangerous and serious than overheating food in mocrowave. She may need outside help, to feel comfortable about talking about why she lied. Seems maybe, maybe, she is not trusting of your emotions or your actions toward her, if she does make a mistake.
2006-10-23 03:39:00 · answer #4 · answered by kellie p 1 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Kids are going to lie if they terrified of what their parents are going to say or do. The house didn't burn down right? Sounds like it could have been a huge tragedy, but everyone was safe. I think if you want the truth, you need to be sure that she knows first of all that you are glad she's safe, but secondly that you need to know what happened. Although it was an accident, I think you are within your rights to punish her. A punishment helps kids remember not to do that again. I don't mean to beat the poor kid, but take away privileges. Try to use something related, like, she's not allowed to use the microwave for a certain amount of time (maybe ever to be on the safe side), but reinforce the punishment by taking away something she enjoys (the phone, TV, games, friend visits, etc.) for a few weeks. Please make sure she knows how much you love her though!
2006-10-23 03:22:48 · answer #5 · answered by wjordanfam 1 · 4⤊ 0⤋
that's stable you made her call and admit what she had accomplished and say sorry. you ought to floor her for stealing and for mendacity and permit her know the subsequent time her punishment would be greater severe. you ought to make her omit and return the object and say sorry lower back in individual. would not actually matter quantity the way you punish her for this, the significant concern is which you do punish her. This time, and every time. She desires to renowned that she would be able to get caught and there will be punishment. that's approximately all you're able to do.
2016-11-25 00:06:47 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ground her, but when doing so say: If you hadn't lied I would only have grounded you from watching TV for the week (or whatever you ground her from doing), but because you lied you will have to choose between being spanked or being grounded for 3 weeks"
Making a child choose a punishment is good, because it makes them realize that they also had a choice of what was right or wrong and because they chose the wrong thing they have to choose a punishment.
Also every time you punish a child for lying, tell them what would have happened if they hadn't lied, also (and this is very difficult, but try it) if a child is honest about doing something bad say: I would have grounded you for 2 weeks, but because you where honest it will be for just 1 week. (At the time it will be hard, but in the long run you'll find they'll be more honest about their mistakes)
2006-10-23 03:28:03 · answer #7 · answered by Anria A 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋
I would treat it like any lie and just do a grounding. I fail to see how a 10-year-old could be expected to make the connection between overcooking something in the microwave, and a house fire, especially with nobody home to teach her things. Your phrasing of the question is also lying, so it sets a bad example. She did not set the house on fire.
2006-10-23 03:15:43 · answer #8 · answered by Kacky 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
I would make her pay for her actions - the 911 service isnt free.. your taxes pay for it.
she could have cost somebody else their life by calling the fire department away from another REAL fire...
she should have to appologize to THEM for wasting their time...
have her read these responses.. and the two of you can pick the punishment from them....
upon reading what others wrote I agree why was a 10 yr old left alone? how old was the oldest child in the home? who was suppose to be watching this child... that person clearly also needs a repremand
2006-10-23 04:09:54 · answer #9 · answered by CF_ 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
she was scared. you left a 10 yr old alone, too young to handle things. How about being rational and understanding that you deserve most of the blame. NEVER leave a child unattended.
Do not punish her. I think she learned a very scary lesson. She needs your support and understanding and I can guarantee she will not make the same mistake again. You are lucky that no one reported you to child welfare.
2006-10-23 03:24:22 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 7⤊ 0⤋