I invited a guy friend (whom Ive previously had dealigns with, but stirctly platonic now) over to my house for dinner. We never left my dining room table but the man of my life found out and is very hurt by it. So much so that he doesnt want to be in a relationship with me anymore. I never tried to say that I wasnt wrong for having the guy over but I am very remorseful (not because he found out...I was trying to tell him). He doesnt want to hear it because he feels betrayed like he doesnt know me and that what I did was very disrespectful. He feels that our relationship was never what I said it was and that Im not the type of woman he wants to be with ( a deceptive and dishonest woman). Is there any chance that he will forgive me with time? I love him more than I think he knows and am willing to start over and try to rebuild this trust. Is there a Happy ending in sight?
2006-10-23 03:12:28 · 15 answers · asked by flyy412girl 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I believe that this is not the end for the two of you, especially if you don't want it to be. He thinks he can be without you, but you seem to have a good heart and a good head on your shoulders.
Now, having that said, I am not sure if you will be able to trust him after this. Although your meeting with Guy X meant ABSOLUTELY NOTHING, in your man's mind it does not matter. He seems like he is a principle -oriented kind-of-guy who isn't driven by emotions even though his jealousy proves that his feelings for you are a deeper than he has ever felt. You need to be aware b/c he may feel that since he thinks he can no longer trusts you, he shouldn’t be faithful anymore. You all need to talk to make sure that if he does forgive you, he is not out being unfaithful to get back at you. Let him know that you love him, but if that’s how its going to be, then you just need to let the relationship go now.
All in all, I do believe that you are remorseful and that you really love your man. Its unfortunate that this happened, but you all can work through this. There will be a time where he needs you to forgive him... so he needs to do the same for you right now.
May God bless you both.
2006-10-23 05:18:58 · answer #1 · answered by EmpatheticOne 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Relationships can be saved after trust has been broken, but there has to be a very strong connection or bond between the individuals to make them want to save the relationship. In your case, I don't think that will happen. What you did was terrible. If you love this man like you say you do, why the hell would you invite another man (obviously an ex-lover, or fling) over for dinner. I'm sorry, but I'm with your man, I have a really hard time believing you never left the dining room. And even if you didn't, it wouldn't be the first time two people did the horizontal mambo on the dining room table. You screwed up.
2006-10-23 03:19:50 · answer #2 · answered by Bad Pookie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The first thing you have to ask yourself is if the relationship you tag as 'Platonic', really is. Then you have to ask yourself why you never told the 'love of your life' that you had invited an old flame over for a harmless dinner.
I would have to agree with him as far as the trust being breached, the disrespect you showed by doing what you did and the low opinion he has of you. The relationship can, however, regain a certain amount of normalcy if you both sit down and work out a definite plan based on Standard Operating Procedures. Part of loving is having to sacrifice. You must be tolerant, patient and understanding among other things.
If you really love him you will do everything in your power to restore the relationship.
Good luck!!
2006-10-23 03:23:27 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends on him entirely. If you've hurt him beyond repair than there's not chance of reconciling. But if you can make him see how much you really love him and explain to him why you had this guy over in the first place?! then maybe he'll give you a chance. But honestly, what you did was very hurtful and he probably wont even return your calls for awhile. This might be one of those lessons that you just had to learn without having the happy ending. Because most times in life you can't mess up like that and just fix it. You end up losing the things that you care the most about with behavior like that. I hope it works out for the best for you because it seems like your honestly repentant. But if it doesn't just remember this the next time your in a relationship.
2006-10-23 03:17:35 · answer #4 · answered by Phaylynn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd have to question whether the trust was there in the first place.
It's not wrong to see an ex, but doing so without mentioning it to your current partner is really asking for trouble.
If your relationship was so good to start with -
1. You'd have mentioned this meeting beforehand. I'm guessing you didn't as you were unsure how he'd react, or knew he'd be annoyed.
2. He wouldn't be trying to dump you because you had a now platonic ex over.
The 2 of you have a lot of work to do.
2006-10-23 03:20:07 · answer #5 · answered by SussedIt 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There can be but not always the case. He can hold this over your head and be suspicious about your where abouts and friends. This can drive you crazy. If he is just angry right now and will talk I would try to apologize for hurting him and tell him that you are trustworthy and that will not happen again because you don't want to lose the relationship. Just know it may take along time for him to be OK with what happened. Good luck Sweetie. We women sometimes make the wrong but innocent choice and then we have to pay for it.
2006-10-23 03:20:29 · answer #6 · answered by Tosha 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your fella wants to be in control and you spending a couple of hours with a friend worries him because it means you are not completely in his control, he doesn't want a girlfriend with a mind of her own he wants a girlfriend that will do, say & think what he tells her when he tells her.
You should both have friends both male & female & should have enough respect & trust in each other to not worry about this.
You didn't break his trust (you met up with a friend, big deal) if anything he broke yours by not respecting you enough to let you have a life & friends away from him.
Leave him now before he becomes so controlling that you are miserable for the rest of your life
2006-10-23 03:20:21 · answer #7 · answered by madamspud 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may not like what I have to say. I know it is going to be hard, but you need to forget about him, you tried to explain to him, and he would not listen, you did nothing to be ashamed of. What is wrong with having a friend? He is the controlling type, and Things work out like this for a reason, he will get worst, and you do not need anyone in your life, that you can not talk too! Time will heal, this is why you need a friend who you can go out with a while, so you can get to know him.
2006-10-23 03:22:37 · answer #8 · answered by roseannetb@verizon.net 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everyone deserves a second chance : ) we are all human. We all make mistakes. As long as you can OWN it and apologize sincerely, and learn from your lesson. Don't repeat the same mistakes. If you really love her, ask for her forgiveness and prove it to her through your actions and not doing that again.
2016-05-22 01:01:27 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
bad choice on your part..if you really love each other it will work out, but you must be willing to slowly prove to him that you can be trusted and above all else stay honest with him good luck. as long as there's not a ring on your finger then he needs to chill out it sounds like he is insecure and feeling that he can't meet all your needs and thats why you went to the other guy.
2006-10-23 03:16:36 · answer #10 · answered by kittykitty 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋