2006-10-23 03:01:29 · 37 answers · asked by Pikinmom 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
That is so rude - and people that kindly gave presents will think so too. If she leaves it too long it won't be worth it. Tell her to get writing!
2006-10-23 03:02:54 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely!! How long ago was the wedding? Many people have the idea that they have up to a year after the wedding to send thank yous, but that is incorrect - they should be written (by hand, not on a computer!) and sent immediately. See if you can sit down with her and make a list of who to send them to and for what gifts - maybe if you help her get it organized it won't seem like such a daunting task. Also, make your son-in-law help - the thank yous should be from both of them, not just your daughter. I think it's great that you are enforcing manners even after she's grown - too many people today blow things like that off as unimportant!
2006-10-23 08:53:23 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your daughter is married - she is an adult. It doesn't matter how many times you tell her to write the thank you's she won't do it unless - and until - it is important to her. You cannot make her do it. If relatives make comments to you about it, you will simply have to grin and bear it - practice a polite response that doesn't accept responsibility or guilt, and that doesn't sound like making excuses for your child either. Perhaps something like "Yes, your gift was lovely. You should let my daughter know that you haven't received your thank you note yet." Most folks will drop it there, but a few may persist with - well, when did she send them? Your reply - "I really couldn't say, but I'm sure she'd love to hear from you."
I have received thank-you's promptly, much delayed, and not at all. (still haven't gotten one from the gifts we gave my brother-in-law and his wife when they married a year and a half ago) However, I do not let it affect the relationship with these folks, nor do I assume the gifts were unappreciated. I choose to assume that because our relationship is so special, that they knew I would understand if I was at the bottom of the list for that particular task. :) Hey, dilusional maybe, but at least it keeps me from being grumpy!
Now, if there are folks that you feel you cannot show your face to until they have been thanked, here's an alternative. Thank them yourself - no, it's not your job. But if the issue is your feelings about Their feelings, then take the bull by the horns. Write dear great aunt gertrude a heartfelt note - "It was so delightful to see you at daughter Betsy's wedding! I know how difficult travel must have been, all the way from Kalamazoo on the train. And what a lovely gift - that handcarved wooden heirloom from great grandfather Herbert's prized collection is a treasure for sure. I can't wait to see it on display once they have settled into the new house. Are Darrin and Teresa back from that trip to Kenya? Can't wait to hear all about it in their Christmas letter this year. And on and on." It's not the same to be sure, but it eliminates any awkward feelings you have at the next family gathering.
There is a chance it will piss your daughter off, so don't tell her. If a relative mentions to her that they got a note from you and she 'confronts' you, say simply - 'as I was sending her a note, I thought I'd mention how lovely the gift was and how much I enjoyed seeing her at the wedding.' Do not apologize and do not use it as another opportunity for hounding or berating your daughter. Just let it go and move on.
Best of luck!
2006-10-23 04:23:52 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Why isn't her hubby helping with the thank yous? I know it's a pain in the rear, but it needs to be done, even if it's 15 a day. Suggest they sit down after dinner and whack out a few more. Should be taken care of in no time.
My mother nagged at me when I was a teen to write thank yous for my birthday gifts. I hated it. She died a few days later, and I will never not send a thank you again in my life. Life's lessons I guess, sometimes you learn the hard way. Like having friends and relatives remember that they never got a thank you for a nice wedding gift.
2006-10-23 04:37:01 · answer #4 · answered by chefgrille 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If her wedding was more than 3 weeks ago, then YES!!! Tell her every day until she finally does them! Thank you notes should be sent out within 1 month after a gift is received.
2006-10-23 03:28:31 · answer #5 · answered by loyerd6 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes! She should have mailed those out right away. A week after our wedding and honeymoon, I sent out thank you notes immediately. We had 135 guests at our wedding too so it wasn't small. It is very rude of her not to appreciate all the help that was provided, and the gifts that were given.
2006-10-23 03:09:33 · answer #6 · answered by Rachel 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
absolutely!!! stay on her ,my daughter-law did the same thing and not wanting to rock the boat kept as quiet as I could UNTIL I found the list of our side of the family and addressed the envelopes and told her to write the thank you cards, I also told her that if they ever expected any gifts in the future from my family that it was in her best interest to do so,,,, tell your daughter that she didn't have a problem excepting these gifts>>> why is it so hard to thank them for it???? P.S if I send a gift and don't receive even a thank you call I will never again send them another. keep on her mom!!!!!
2006-10-23 03:16:09 · answer #7 · answered by MissMonk 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO! If you've given her a few gentle reminders, that's all you need to do.
Your daughter is married now. While you still care about her, let her and her husband make family decisions.
If she asks later why she didn't get very many gifts for her birthday, christmas, baby shower, etc remind her again how important thank you notes are.
Don't keep driving the issue home. Sometimes you just have to let go and let her make decisions. Thank you notes are important, but not important enough to drive her away from you.
2006-10-23 03:05:30 · answer #8 · answered by trigam41 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
yes! She needs to! They took time out of their lives and money out of their pockets and bought them something, and the least she can do is spend 39 cents on a stamp and thank them for it! and don't let her get away with not sending them to people in the wedding party either, I have been in so many and never recieved a thank you for the first gift I gave some of them, the way I see it, Those people spent all kinds of money most likely to be their for her, she needs to send them a special thanks! print this out and show her! I'm 21 and am fixing to go through thank-you note hell, but its the RIGHT thing to do!
2006-10-23 09:14:00 · answer #9 · answered by ASH 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely! People do HAVE to bring gifts to a wedding. They are just that, gifts! Thank you 's should be sent for every gift within a month of coming back on your honeymoon.
2006-10-23 04:32:34 · answer #10 · answered by kcastillo1220 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Of course you are right! Keep on her about it. Thank you's are very important. Some people never send them for anything and I think that is rude.
She should have sent thank you's to them first and foremost... and then get right on the thank you's for the wedding gifts.
2006-10-23 04:29:00 · answer #11 · answered by PT&L 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋