My disabled brother lives with me (Not mental, just physical) He is rude to just about ALL my guests and in-laws. No matter what I do I cannot get him to stop. What is a positive way to handle this
2006-10-23 01:13:40 · 11 answers · asked by jenn 1 in Health ➔ Mental Health
Try talking to him, and explain that if this arrangement is going to work, there are some things that will have to change...his attitude for one. Maybe he doesn't like those people, and doesn't know how to handle the feeling, he can always go to his room or another part of the house or apartment when they visit. It could be too, that he feels a bit jealous of anyone regardless of who they are because they aren't physically handicapped. If he continues to be rude, you can tell your guests that he isn't feeling well or he forgot to take his meds.
2006-10-23 01:19:59 · answer #1 · answered by angeleyes 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Walls and doors are best for social management. We can not use hand cuffs or shouts but I think all of us can develop better skills. Timing visits to find a sibling out on an errand is good . Maybe they just need to go to a fast food for a while. That's only a few dollars. Controlling a brain is so much harder to do . If you can do that you are a manager and understand how sex is used in life. Let me know more and we can fix it together.
2006-10-23 01:34:31 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you think it's b/c he's self concious about his disability to people outside the family? If you can't reason with him and he cannot behave in a respectful manner in your house, maybe you should consider discussing alternative housing for him. You can be positive for only so long - some people need the shock of you being angry with them to get the message.
2006-10-23 01:24:58 · answer #3 · answered by anonymous 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him he either needs to stop being rude, stay away from your guests, or find another place to live. You are not his baby sitter and if he is an adult he needs to take responsibility for his actions, disabled or not. You wouldn't let another family member with no disability to take advantage of you and you shouldn't let him. Lay down the law, he will either respect the rules of your house or find another place to live.
Good luck.
2006-10-23 01:18:02 · answer #4 · answered by pelenpuppy 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
he needs a pyschologist for dealing with his anger inside
most cities have a community mental health..Tell him the reason he dont have freinds is cuz hes rude not cuz hes disabled. Mabey he trying to sleep when they come over and they talk too loud..or if its during the day and your like all sitting in the living room and he does it tell your freind to talk in a sweet voice and say,[did i upset you?] if so im realy sorry. sometimes talking down to people like there a child will work,,i got cancer myself and have trouble dealing with the feelings of anger cuz sometimes i feel like people dont care...also tell him there are people in this world who have it much worse than him,,,and yes tell him,,,he can go to a group home to live if he cant stop
2006-10-23 01:37:11 · answer #5 · answered by native,pride 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe it's time for him to go elsewhere. Maybe it is how he knows how to get attention, some people seek attention even if it is negative because that is the only way they know how. He may need to learn another alternative. If he is not open to that and he just wants to be that way, perhaps it would be better for him not to live with you.
2006-10-23 03:31:33 · answer #6 · answered by ineeddonothing 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tough love. He is unhappy about himself and his situation. If you have other alternatives, like not having to have him live with you, you may have to express that to him. I don't know that there is a positive way to hold up a "the mirror of truth" to him so he can see how unhappy he is and how unhappy he is making you.
Only if he chooses to make himself a happier person (and he can), will he be likely to quit being rude.
2006-10-23 01:18:43 · answer #7 · answered by Pegasus90 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
is this person downe in a wheel chair etc? okay if hes having troubles walking etc, what i would is say look, buddy games up, you want too go somewhere were i dont have too put up with this you dont , get over-- your bitterness, and hatred towards my family,, theres the door put your foot downe and be direct its your home and guests-- okay be straight say look this is my life and family you want the door??
2006-10-23 01:19:03 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Planned ignoring.
Also, if he has a Social Worker, discuss the problem with him/her. they may have some suggestions.
Final option; natural consequences of rude behavior. If he's rude, withhold something he enjoys & explain why it's being withheld.
2006-10-23 01:18:44 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I guess he must be feeling frusterated abt not being like everyone else.. Involve him in something he is interested in basically divert his mind n keep him occupied..
2006-10-23 01:23:12 · answer #10 · answered by roshnimj 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋