Is daycare a reason not to have a baby?

Question

I have a 2 1/2 year old and when he was 2 we put him in daycare so I could go back to work. We really want another baby but I would have to put the new baby in daycare from the start because we can not afford for me to be a stay at home mom right now. The thought of putting my new baby in daycare breaks my heart. My husband does not think that is a good reason not to have a baby. So I'm just wondering is not wanting to put a new baby in daycare a good reason not to have a baby or should I have the baby and deal with the dare care issue? Thanks for the help and advice!

Answer 1

I feel that things always seem to work themselves out when you have a baby.

As long as you can afford to clothe, feed, house, and love your baby - you can't go wrong!

Good luck to you!

Answer 2

What about a nanny or an au pair? With two children, the cost for a nanny would probably be less than a daycare for both of them, especially that young. Additionally, with a nanny, they will be getting one on one care, and there won't be the employee turnover rate prevelent in a daycare. Plus, your children will be in your own home, cared for by someone who is really more like an extended family member than a cog in the daycare system. You would have a lot more control over their day and their environment than you would in a daycare.
If you feel strongly against putting the child in daycare, I wouldn't have the baby right now. I would pay off whatever debts you have, or downsize your expenses so that you COULD be a stay at home mom. I am a sort of SAHM...I used to be a teacher, but I haven't worked since I was 8 months pregnant (baby is 3.5 mos now). We live on my husband's salary, and I just started working again as a nanny. I take my daughter to work with me, though, so, it's the best of both worlds. You could also look at finding a similar job situation where you could take your child with you.
For the record, we could very easily live on my husband's salary...he's in the military, so, we easily live off of that. I only work so that we can have some of the extras, and I wouldn't work if I couldn't bring my daughter with me.
I'd say don't put the baby in daycare if you are not comfortable with it. I certainly wouldn't have been able to put Katie in daycare as a newborn. I realize some families *have* to use daycare, but, I don't think I'd be comfortable with it until the child could tell me if something bad was happening at daycare.

Answer 3

It is up to you and what you feel comfortable with. You already have one in daycare, so you must be comfortable with those people and trust them already, right? i had to go back to work after 12 weeks with my girl, and it was hard at first, but I know it was the right decision. And now she's 1year old, and loves daycare. When she gets dropped off in the morning, the other babies are so happy to see her and she is the same! It's nice to see her interacting. She never cries when we leave, and she has never been afraid of meeting anyone new. She gets excited when we pick her up as well. My opinion, do what you have to do and don't worry about what others may think. It might be good for the baby!

I just have to add: It is so rude the way people try to make you feel because you have to work. It is very hard these days to raise a child on just one person's income. Guess what? I'll be damned if I have to depend on a man to pay for everything. Yes, he can help pay for the child of course! But I will never, ever expect someone else to pay for my car, my clothes, everything in the house including all food, all furniture, all baby products, college, and so on.. How can these people expect that?

Answer 4

I agree! I am pregnant rigt now and I have a 2 1/2 year old in daycare, which I love, But hes only been in daycare for about 4 months now. Im scared to death to put my baby in daycare, will hey treat him right, the baby cant tell you if somethings wrong, Im scared to death. I dont believe its not a reason to have a baby, you just have to know the teachers and know your in a good establishment though....This is the only thing that gives me peace of mind.

Answer 5

You have to evaluate things very carefully. Having a baby isn't simply a matter of daycare or no daycare. I would make a list of the pros and cons for yourself. How much is your salary? How much do you and will you pay for daycare? How much is your dry cleaning bill? How many new clothes are you buying? Are you paying for household help, lawn care service, laundry service? What are your commute expenses? How many times do you order out or go to a restaurant a week because you are too tired to cook? All of these add up, and many times the outgo does not justify the income. Most women would be better staying at home two or three years until their kids could go to part-time or full time preschool. If your day care is regulated, then there are people who would be checking on the quality of care. But then, you won't be there for every first either. Make a list for yourself, and see how it balances out. Check out the website http://moneycentral.msn.com/investor//calcs/n_spwk/main.asp
to see how much you are really bringing home as way of a paycheck.
I have been lucky in the fact that I was able to stay at home and work part time. I took a job at night when my husband was home and took care of the kids. I would fix supper and eat with them, then go off to work for three or four hours. He would get them ready for bed, and some nights put them to bed. Every family is different. We didn't have to use daycare because we compromised for our kids: I don't have a full blown career, but extra money. My husband spends quality dad time with the kids, and has to be home on time for me to go to work!! It has been worth it for us.

Answer 6

I pay $190 a week for Tue, Thur, Fri. 8a.m.-12:30p.m. If my daughter went three full days (8-3) a week I would be paying a grand total of $238 per week! How does that sound? Imagine five days a week, full days at that, how much do you think you'd be paying? Here's another thought. What if your job requires hours that are different then your daycare? There's an additional fee that applies to that! I hope you can decide what's best for your family situation. Don't forget if you do decide to have another baby call 211 info line. They can offer you names and numbers of child care facilities and a phone number to your states where you can look up if there has been any reports of abuse, etc.

Answer 7

When I had my first baby, I went back to work when he was 1. I put him in daycare and went back to work. About 2 weeks later, things changed in me. I was always the kind of person to say that a baby was never going to hold me back from my career.. there was always going to be babysitters and daycares, then there would be school.. someone would be there to care for my babies. BUT, after 2 weeks of being away from my son.. I realized that I didn't want to be away from him.

He's 4 now, and I have another baby, he's almost 2, and for the past 3 years, through thick and thin, I have been a stay at home mom to them. My husband and I talked about it, and it was no more babies or I stay home with more babies.. that was both our choice. We both agreed that we weren't going to have kids to make someone else look after them.

I wanted kids so that I could be there for them, teach them, help them, and be their mother. I didn't want some babysitter (and neither did he) teaching my sons' to talk, walk, and be. I didn't want to come home and have a babysitter tell me that my son said his first word, took his first step, ate solid food for the first time.

If someone else wants to raise kids, let them have kids. I had kids so that I could raise them, not someone else.

Tell your husband to think about why he wants another baby that you can't afford. He wants you to have a baby that's going to cost more money.. just to put in daycare so you can go back to work because you can't afford to stay at home?? Tell him to think about that.

Answer 8

I do home daycare for that specific reason. I couldn't bring myself to put a newborn into daycare. Now I'm home with her and making a decent amount and it's great. Especially now with another on the way, there's no way we could afford daycare for 2.

Answer 9

I generally support day care but not for new borns. However if you want another child this should not stop you. A better option in my opinion for new borns would be a in home child care provider. I found out that they generally have less kids to take care of so a baby can get the attention the need instead of just being put in a swing or put in a bed all day long because the nursery workers have to many to take care of. Just make sure you check them out first drop by and review her day and check references of the other clients

Answer 10

I have a 4 month old so I can relate to what you're saying. I am a stay at home mom but have the luxury of working out of the house. I can't imagine putting my son in day care.

Are you sure that you can't afford to be a stay at home mom or at least work part time? Perhaps if you look at the cost of day care, travel expenses, etc, you may be able to justify staying at home.

Good luck!

Answer 11

That is the problem, the career-minded parents had to face. If you can, you must not put the child in the day care. If you cannot afford to remain at home, for caring the baby, you may earn some extra money for some time and thereafter decide to go in for the baby.